I gave you my heart

You threw it on the ground,

I screamed your name,

But never made a sound.

I was broken.

You were bleeding.

I was dead.

You were leaving.

You’re my nightmare come true

What can I do?

Love ruins and maims

I knew you’d never stay.

You’re my nightmare!

Who wrote this?

It sounded so angry. So bitter. It wasn’t Jordan or Garrett’s style and they were the ones who usually wrote the Rejects’ music.

Mitch closed his eyes, his mouth pinched as Cole sang the lyrics. His lips moved along with the words and I wished I could hear him sing. I had always loved his voice.

His eyes flashed open and settled on me again and this time he didn’t look away.

But I wished he would. Because the pain I saw there made me want to scream.

It was a pain that I was responsible for.

“This club is so lame!” I yelled into Riley’s ear. I stood beside her trying to dance in time to the beat. It was hard though because the music was bad. As in John Tesh on acid bad.

After the show the nine of us had loaded up the gear into the bus, most of us—minus Mitch and Sophie, who said they’d meet us there—had walked a few blocks away to a small basement club that was teeming with people. I didn’t catch the name as we had paid our cover and gone inside.

It smelled like body odor and weed. The music was of the crappy house variety. Lots of thumping bass and not much else.

People were drunkenly hooking up all around me and I had walked in on three girls going at it in the bathroom just twenty minutes ago.

This was definitely not my scene. Not anymore anyway. Once upon a time I would have been drinking it up and dancing my ass off. Now I just stood in the corner and tried to avoid having beer dumped down my back.

“Whose bright idea was it to come here?” I asked Garrett who was standing beside his girlfriend.

“I think Cole saw a flyer or something. We need to remember to do the opposite of whatever he suggests,” he answered, shaking his head.

“You haven’t figured that out by now?” Riley laughed, kissing him on the mouth. Garrett pulled her into his arms and wrapped her hair around his hand.

“Don’t get smart with me, woman,” he growled as he bent her low and kissed her senseless.

I turned away from them and sipped on my lime and soda. I could almost pretend it was a G&T. Almost.

Maysie and Jordan were dancing and god knew where Vivian and Cole had disappeared to.

Mitch and Sophie hadn’t shown up yet. I wondered what they were doing. Had they gone somewhere to be alone? I was pretty sure Mitch would have gotten a hotel room if everyone else had gotten one. Were he and Sophie there?

I tried not to imagine what they were doing. But it became all mixed up with memories of what Mitch and I had done in a hotel room a year before.

And then, as if I had summoned him, Mitch appeared.

“Hey guys,” he greeted us. Sophie wasn’t by his side and I sure as hell didn’t look for her. Maybe she fell off a cliff somewhere.

Don’t be mean, Gracie, I chastised myself.

“Hey, Mitch. Where’s the other half?” Garrett asked and I winced. I couldn’t help it. Hearing Sophie referred to as Mitch’s other half was really hard to hear.

“In the bathroom, I think,” he answered looking around and not seeming impressed.

Riley and I smirked knowing the eyeful she was probably getting.

I noticed the way women looked at both Mitch and Garrett. It was hard not to. Some were so blatant that I was embarrassed for them. A girl with bright red hair danced provocatively in front of Mitch, gyrating her hips and thrusting out her chest. She eyeballed him brazenly.

“I think she wants your attention, Mitch,” Riley laughed, shaking her head.

My face flushed and I saw red. I wanted to grab the tramp by her overly teased hair and give her a hearty shove. Riley nudged me in the side. “You’re going to put her ten feet under with just your glare alone.”

I hadn’t realized I was being so obvious with my jealousy. That wasn’t good. So I worked on schooling my features. Mitch glanced my way and he smirked when he saw my expression. Our eyes met and my blood heated. He knew I didn’t like the attention he was getting. I knew he enjoyed my reaction.

Suddenly we were transported to a year ago and the tug and pull that had always defined our relationship.

“Oh my goodness, there were three girls in the bathroom and they were—” Sophie’s sudden appearance snapped the both of us out of whatever weird moment we had been experiencing.

“They’re still going at it?” Riley asked, her eyes wide. “Man, they have some serious endurance. You’ve got to respect that.”

Sophie appeared horrified. She turned to Mitch who looked like he was trying not to laugh. “I want a drink. Can you get me some white wine?”

“Uh, I doubt they’ll have wine, Soph,” Mitch remarked. “This isn’t a wine kind of joint.”

Sophie looked frustrated. “I guess I’ll have a Cosmo. They can make one of those, right?”

“Yeah, I’m sure they can whip you up a Cosmo. Does anyone else want anything?” Mitch asked. Riley and Garrett both declined and then he turned to me. “Gracie, do you want something to drink?”

I almost looked around to see if there was another Gracie in the room. I couldn’t believe he was actually speaking to me. Of his own volition.

“I’m fine, thanks,” I answered giving him a smile. He didn’t return it.

The four of us stood in a small little cluster at the edge of the dance floor. Sophie crossed her arms over her chest and looked uncomfortable. I tapped my foot in time with the music and wished I could leave. Garrett and Riley tried to keep their hands off each other and were failing miserably.

“Here you go,” Mitch said, coming back only a few minutes later, handing Sophie her pink drink. He took a sip of what looked like a glass of water. Sophie frowned and inspected his glass.

“You’re drinking water. Why didn’t you get a beer?” she asked.

Mitch’s dark eyes flicked toward me. “I’m fine with water,” he told her and I felt warm from the inside out.

He never drank in front of me. Not since I had gone to rehab. He didn’t make a big deal about it, which I appreciated. His unconditional support had sustained me more than I had ever really realized.

And he was still offering it. Even after everything.

“This place is pretty lame,” Mitch commented, looking around. I wanted to laugh at how we still thought so much a like.

“Yeah, G was just saying the same thing,” Garrett said, grinning. “It’s like you share a brain or something. It’s always been a little on the creepy side.”

Mitch’s lips twitched and mine responded likewise.

“Great minds think alike,” we both said at the same time. Mitch chuckled and raised his glass of water and inclined his head in my direction. I laughed, wishing I could hold on to this incredible feeling of connection between us.

“Mitch, can we go now? I’m really tired,” Sophie complained, pulling on his arm. Our eye contact was instantly severed and the connection dwindled into nothing. I wondered if I had imagined the whole thing.

“You want to leave already? We just got here,” Mitch said, sounding annoyed.

“Please, Mitch. I have a headache. You know I’m not feeling that great. We can go back to the hotel room and—” Sophie looked toward me and I swear I saw her smirk. “You know,” she giggled and I had to look away.

“I think I’m going to go see if it’s safe to enter the bathroom yet,” I told Riley. I didn’t wait for her to respond before I started pushing my way through the crowd. There was a line for the restroom when I got there, but I was glad to see that the porn show was over.