“What kind of scene are you doing tomorrow?” she asks, and I hear the barn door slide open and a horse nicker to her.

My mind blanks. Fuck. I really don’t know my lines. “A bunch of drama. Maybe a sex scene.”

“Are you ever afraid you’re gonna pop a boner?” she asks, and I laugh at her bluntness.

“No. Well, I was at first. But there are so many people telling you what to do. There’s like three people telling you to thrust faster and breath heavier while another is concerned with the way my arse looks. It’s so awkward and physically uncomfortable having my junk shoved inside a little bag to keep it out of the way.”

She laughs softly. “I knew it was like that, but I never put much thought into it. That would be awkward. Hey, sweetheart,” she says, and it takes me a second to realize she’s talking to a horse. A few seconds pass, and then the door slides shut again. “She’s sleeping. I’m not going to wake her up until after I eat and change into my PJs. Then I’ll be sleeping in the barn again.”

“What you do, Haley, is amazing.”

“Nah, there are others who do more than I do.”

I smile. She’s modest too. Definitely unlike the women I’m used to. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Taking care of the foal. I’m going to beg Lori to come over and give me a few hours to either go grocery shopping or nap. Probably nap, but I do need food. Why do you ask?” She sounds hopeful. Maybe. I want her to be. “Are you not busy?”

Yep. She’s hopeful. “No, I’m swamped tomorrow, but I wish I weren’t. I want to see you again.” I imagine her smiling, some of the sadness disappearing from her green eyes.

I want her to say she wants to see me too, that she’s been thinking about me as much as I’ve been thinking about her, but instead she just says, “Really?”

I laugh again. “Yeah. Is it that surprising?”

“Yes,” she tells me honestly. “I’m a basket case. I still don’t understand why you want to be around me. You can have anyone you want. Trust me, you don’t want me. I’m broken.”

Her words are like a bullet to the heart. She isn’t broken. She can’t be broken, because if she is, then what am I? “You’re the one I want,” I say softly.

“You shouldn’t want me, Aiden.” Her voice is tight and full of emotion.

“How about you let me be the judge of that?”

“Fair enough.” I hear another door open and her rustling around through something. Then buttons beep on her microwave. “I’m having popcorn for dinner,” she mumbles. “How pathetic is that?”

I chuckle. “I think you’ll have to go get food instead of napping tomorrow.”

She groans. “I know. I really need to, or I’m going to start sharing formula with the baby.”

“She needs a name.”

“I’ve been trying to think of something. Most of the time names just come to me. Phoenix did, but her name is obvious.”

Oh right. The horse was on fire. She emerged from the flames and lived. Just like Haley. “Aurelia,” I say. “It means golden, and her fur is gold. Kind of lame, I guess.”

“No, I love it. Aurelia it is. That’s a really pretty name.”

My heart thumps and I roll my eyes at myself. “So you’re really playing hooky tomorrow?”

“I am. I already called in and said I had the flu. They bought it.” Popcorn pops in the background. “So,” she starts. “Am I going to see you again?”

I smile and feel a tingle of desire go through me. Fuck, I want her. “Only if you want to.”

“I do,” she says slowly. “I like you too, Aiden. I don’t want you to think that I don’t, or that the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ line is just a line, but you know. With everything that’s happened, I’m not…I shouldn’t…I’m not who I used to be, if that makes sense.”

“It does make sense,” I tell her, and I’m tempted to open the door to my own personal hell and let her know she’s not the only one forever changed. But I don’t. I can’t.

“When are you free?”

“Friday I don’t need to be on set.”

“I work,” she says with a sigh. “But I might get out not long after lunch.”

“Call me when you do?”

“I can do that,” she says, and I can tell she’s smiling. “Uh, this number?”

“Yes. This is my real number. I didn’t give you a fake one, but I don’t hand out my personal number to just anyone.”

“I understand. And I’ve given a fake number more than once.”

“Those poor guys.”

She laughs. “Heartbroken, I’m sure.”

I yawn and my body aches for sleep. “I should go to bed,” I begrudgingly say. “I have to get up early.”

“Okay,” she says back. “Have a good night.”

I will, because the storm inside me has passed. All because of her. “You too. I hope you get some sleep. Give Aurelia a pet for me.”

“I can do that. Good night, Aiden.”

“Night, Haley. You should probably lock the barn doors when you’re out there,” I say. “Ya know, just in case.”

“I will. I’m making Chrissy come with me too, and I’ll keep the rifle close by. I don’t like being alone. Even the house feels too empty.”

“Being alone is a little unnerving,” I admit, the real Aiden coming through again. “You’re alone with your thoughts and just alone in general.”

“The thoughts are my biggest thing right now. The horses make me feel safe, which I know is silly.”

“Maybe. But you love them, and the things we hold closest have a way of making us feel safe.”

“Very true. What do you hold closest?”

I hesitate. I don’t know. My career? I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I don’t hold anything close. Things that are close hurt you. “My friends,” I lie, the answer being myself. For the last few years at least, I’ve put myself first. It’s the only way to keep the darkness out of my head.

“How early is early for you?” she asks as she munches on popcorn.

“Tomorrow it’s sunrise.”

“Ouch. That is early. I was thinking you were going to tell me eight or something.”

I laugh. “The director is all about using every last fucking minute of daylight.”

“Then you should get some sleep.”

“I should,” I say, and I realize we’ve been saying goodnight for the last five minutes. “And you too.”

“I’ll try. Goodnight, Aiden. I’ll call you Friday.”

I smile. She’ll be calling sooner than that. “Night.”

Chapter 14

I startle awake, smoke filling my lungs. Aurelia is nestled up close to me, sound asleep. My heart races so fast it hurts and I can’t breathe. My hands shake as my brain wrestles with a flashback. I know I’m in the barn. I know there isn’t a fire, but I can smell the smoke, smell the burning scent of flesh and fur, and feel the heat. My shoulder aches, and I’m overcome with the urge to rip off my jacket and put out the flames.

If it weren’t for this new life sleeping next to me, pressed as close as she could get, I would lose it. I let out a slow breath and close my eyes. I’m not on fire. I’m okay. I open my eyes and look around the barn. I’m in a corner of Aurelia’s stall. Chrissy is sleeping on a horse blanket close to us. Everyone else is quiet, also sleeping.

I grab my phone, needing a distraction. I go to my pictures—yes, I saved the picture Aiden posted of us—and look at it, feeling my heart rate slow. A small part of me looks forward to seeing him Friday. He makes me feel calm, and his complete lack of judgment is so unexpected. There’s something about him that makes me think he knows exactly what I’m going through, which is crazy, because his life is perfect.

I miss him. Miss his accented voice, miss the way he looks at me, miss the way he makes me feel like I’m worth it. I stare at the picture for a few more seconds before setting my phone down. I pull my hood up and rest my head against the wall, closing my eyes. Aurelia is a tough little girl. I stroke her fur and smile, feeling so much relief. She’s made it through two days and doesn’t seem like she’s missed her mom that much, which was my biggest worry. A depressed foal quickly leads to a sick foal.