I hear water running upstairs and pause, waiting to hear the floorboards creak as Aiden comes downstairs. When they don’t, I assume he went back to bed, and I flop a soggy piece of batter-covered toast on a frying pan. I turn the bacon and go to the fridge to dig out fruit to chop up.

“Morning,” Aiden’s voice comes from behind me. I’m rinsing strawberries in the sink and didn’t hear him come down the stairs. I turn off the water and turn around. He’s wearing a white t-shirt and gray athletic pants. His hair is pushed away from his face, and his five o’clock shadow has thickened. He looks incredible. “It smells good.”

I shake the water from my fingers and smile. “Thanks. I was hoping you’d stay asleep so I could bring you breakfast in bed.” I run a towel over my wet hands and toss it on the counter. He closes the distance between us and pulls me in. I hook my arms around his shoulders, heart fluttering.

“How are you feeling?” I ask. “You were hot this morning.”

“I don’t feel that bad, actually. I’m tired of coughing, that’s for sure.”

“Want more cough medicine? I don’t want you to get tired from it though.”

“It won’t affect me,” he says. “None of that stuff does.”

“Want some?”

“Yes, but not now.” He brings his head down and kisses me. My knees weaken as I kiss him back. “I’m supposed to go to a premiere in a few weeks,” he says. “It’s a friend’s movie. I want you to come with me.”

I pull away just enough to look at him incredulously. “Me?”

He laughs. “You are my girlfriend, so yes, you.”

So many thoughts run through my head, with the first one being holy shit, to knowing I can’t leave the horses. It hits me again how serious he is about this—about us. I want to let him in, let down my walls and allow myself to feel love. But before I can process any of that, the piece of French toast starts to burn.

The smell of burning bread messes with my head, and the soot-covered hands of death reaches from deep within, grabbing me, holding tight and refusing to let go. It pulls me down into a spiral of flames, and suddenly I’m there again, standing in the barn.

The heat. The smell of burning horse flesh. Pain. Red-hot, intense, horrible pain webbing across my side, melting my skin before I even realize I’m on fire.

Haley!

Mom! I have to get to her. I can get her out! The roof is on fire. We don’t have much time.

“Haley!”

Hands land on my shoulders and I fight them off. “Let me go!” I have to get in there and get Mom. “She’s still in there!”

“Haley! It’s okay. There isn’t a fire. You’re safe.”

I shake my head, my lungs burning. I can’t breathe. I’m going to pass out, but something nudges me. I turn, expecting to see Phoenix, her mane ablaze like the stuff of nightmares.

“Haley,” Aiden says as he pulls me to him. I feel his muscles flex. On some level, I know he’s there and that we are in the kitchen. My mind refuses to believe it. It’s betraying me, putting me back into the barn, back in the fire. “It’s okay,” he soothes. His hands cup my face and his lips press into mine.

The smoke fades. The roar of the flames is diminished to whispers. I’m standing in the kitchen, safely wrapped in Aiden’s arms. He’s kissing me, anchoring me into reality. He’s saving me.

“Are you with me, Haley?” he asks softly.

“I think so,” I rasp. “I’m so sorry.” My lip quivers. Aiden scoops me up and brings me into the living room. He sits on the couch, holding me as tight as he can.

“You do not have to apologize.”

“I feel stupid,” I admit. “My mind is broken. I don’t know why it keeps putting me back there.”

“Your mind is not broken. I think you have PTSD,” he says softly. “And it’s a hard fucking thing to live with.”

I close my eyes. “Don’t let me go,” I whisper, my hands trembling. “Not yet.”

“I’m not going to. Not now, not ever. I’m never going to let you go.”

“Never say never. Hearts get broken when you do.”

“I am never going to break your heart. I love you, Haley. I will never hurt you.”

Tears leak from my eyes. I’m still shaking from the flashback. I cup his face in my hands and kiss him. I want to believe it’s true. And if I’m taking things one day at a time, then for right now, I need to.

I nod and he kisses me again. We fall back, and he’s lying on top of me, softly running his fingertips up and down my arm. “Do you want to stay here, and I’ll finish breakfast?”

I nod then quickly shake my head. “I can do it. You don’t have—”

He silences me with a kiss and gets up. I bring my legs to my chest and close my eyes, thinking only of Aiden’s warm embrace, the way his heart beats against mine. I dig my nails into the couch. Breathe, just breathe. I’m calm enough to get up.

Aiden opens the window above the sink, helping to rid the room of the smell of burnt bread. My heart sinks with guilt. He’s too good for me. How can I be there for him if I freak out like this at nothing, and with no warning?

“I can’t go to the premiere with you,” I say, and Aiden whips around from the stove.

“Why not?”

I shake my head. “Me. This whole situation. I’ve got a few screws loose, and you won’t want me around you in public. I’m a mess, and I don’t want you to get messed up by being around me.”

“Haley,” he starts, but I know he sees the merit in my argument. He turns the burner off and sets the spatula down. “If you are a mess, then it’s a beautiful mess.”

I close my eyes. Oh, Aiden. Why do you have to be so amazing? Can’t you see my life is spiraling out of control, that I’m losing my grip on reality?

“You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met, Aiden. I don’t want to hurt you or burden you with my baggage.”

“I’m really not that amazing,” he says softly.

“Yes, you are to me.”

“I love you.”

I close my eyes, trying to let down the walls so the words can sink into me, fill me, raise me up. But I can’t. I’m scared, and not just of getting my heart broken. What is wrong with my brain? Why am I flashing back in time, back to pain and fear and fire? “You shouldn’t. There is something hopelessly wrong with me.”

His arms go around me, and he looks out the window at the barn. “You don’t give up on them, no matter how hopeless it seems. You told me everyone deserves someone to fight for them. Let me fight for you, Haley. Let me love you.” Tears well in my eyes and I just nod, unable to say the words back. “There is nothing wrong with you. Something horrible happened, and it will take time for you to heal. Time, Haley. Time and someone to wait for you.”

“I don’t want to make you wait. It’s not fair.”

“Hey, it’s not like you’re making me wait for sex,” he jokes, lifting some of the heavy emotion. “And,” he starts, his eyebrows pushing together, “you’re worth waiting for. I wish you could see that.”

It’s hard to see anything over the flames. Except him. “I don’t want to disappoint you,” I confess, letting out my breath and flattening my hand against his chest. “So, what should I wear to this premiere?”

He smiles down at me. “Don’t worry about that.” His hands slip down to my ass, and he pushes his hips against mine, his semi-hard cock rubbing against me.

“When and how long will we be gone? I need to find someone who can take care of the horses and Chrissy.”

“Two Saturdays from now, and we can leave Friday night and be back Sunday. I can’t miss any days of filming. It’s a four-and-half-hour flight, which isn’t that bad, but I think you’ll want to get in Friday so you can rest and we can fuck.”

I laugh and nod. “I’ll hold you to it. Will I be with you the whole time?” My heart beats faster as I think about walking down the red carpet. Holy shit, I’m going to panic there. What if someone asks me questions?

“You will,” he says. “And premieres are kind of boring, really. There’s just a lot of posing for pictures and answering the same questions over and over while acting like you—oh,” he says, shaking his head. “If you’re with me, the rumors and speculation will start about us being a couple.”