“Hey,” I mumble, feeling my cheeks get hot when his eyes come to me and do a head-to-toe sweep.

“Hey, baby.” He smiles, motioning for me to come to him.

Shaking my head, I take a step back. I don’t trust myself. I know if I get close to him, I’m going to want to kiss him, and then I’m going to want to make out with him. I don’t have time to do that and go for a run before I have to get ready for work. And I really need to go for a run since the whole diet thing went down in a burning ball of fire.

“I’m going for a run,” I explain hastily, when he gets up from his chair and I notice he has on his nylon shorts that outline a very large erection.

“So come kiss me goodbye.”

“I can’t.” I shake my head frantically, watching him smile.

“You can,” he assures me, pressing his knuckles into the desk, making his arms and abs flex.

“I can’t. I know I can’t,” I tell him, taking another step backward into the hall. Then, without thinking, I run for the front door, hearing him run behind me as I swing the door open, and bolt down the steps to the sidewalk.

“Ellie,” Jax growls as I jog across the front yard.

“I’ll be back,” I yell over my shoulder, running faster. Getting to the end of the block, I turn right and spot the park at the end of the street, where I take Hope to play. As soon as I reach the large grassy field, I fall down on my back, panting heavy.

“I’m dying,” I wheeze, trying to catch my breath. I have no energy to run again. Really, I have no idea what I was thinking when I said I wanted to start running to begin with. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I press dial when I reach July’s number in my call log.

“Hey, what are you doing? Are you okay? You sound out of breath,” she answers.

“I’m pretty sure I just died,” I tell her through deep breaths.

“Did you decide to finally start running?” she asks on a snort.

“Yes, and I made it two blocks before I had to rest. Now, I’m lying in the grass at the park, talking to you on the phone, killing time before I have to head back to the house and face Jax,” I say through pants while listening to her laugh.

“I don’t think Jax will care that you don’t run,” she mutters.

“I know, but have you seen your cousin? He is—”

“Stop. I don’t want to know.”

“That’s not fair. I don’t have any friends who aren’t related to Jax. Who am I supposed to talk to about him?”

“You can tell me anything about him except if it has to do with sex, his body, and specifically, his penis.”

“That’s all the good stuff,” I point out, making her laugh.

“Well then, you’re going to have to make a new friend.”

“Fine,” I mutter then say quietly, “I told Hope that me and Jax are dating.”

“How did that go?” she asks curiously. She knows how worried I’ve been about this. I told her the last time we spoke that I was concerned about Hope and explained she had never been around anyone besides family before, and Jax wasn’t exactly making it easy for me to keep us a secret from her. When I told her my concerns, she told me I should just be honest with her about us.

I’m still not sure what to think, so even though it’s awkward as hell, I talked to Lilly about it, and she said Hope talks about Jax and me all the time. In Hope’s eyes, we have become a family of sorts, and even though things are new and she’s young, she should know what’s happening, because in the long run, it’s something that will affect her. After Lilly said that, I told her more about how Hope came to be in my care. Hope knows about her mom and dad, but she has no memories of them. To her, they are just pictures and stories. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I didn’t expect Lilly to have the reaction she did. Instead of making me feel like less of a mom, she made me feel like I was the best mom in the world for Hope.

“Earth to Ellie,” July breaks into my thoughts.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. So what did she say?”

“She asked if she can have a sister, so I think it went okay.” I smile at the memory and hear July laugh in my ear. “I told her no, and then she asked if she could get a dog instead.”

“Well, you’ve obviously raised a smart girl if she’s already negotiating.” She laughs again.

“She’s too smart. Are you at work?” I ask, hearing a dog bark.

“Yeah. Oh, now that I’m on the phone with you, I can ask you myself if you’re coming to the compound tonight. We’re having a get-together. I know Ashlyn was going to try and convince you to come hang out.”

“Probably not. I have Hope—”

“You know my mom or any of my aunts would love to watch her.”

“I don’t know. I hate asking people to watch her. I mean, every time I bring up paying anyone, they ignore me, which makes me feel guilty.”

“We’re family, girl,” she says softly.

“I’ll see about it, but I can’t make any promises,” I tell her after a long moment of watching the clouds go blurry through my tears. It’s weird knowing I have this whole group of people to count on, and even stranger that I actually trust them.

“Let me know,” she replies just as quietly.

“I will; talk to you later,” I say before hanging up and tucking my phone back in my pocket.

Pulling in a deep breath, I let it out then stand up, dust my bottom off, and start walking back to the house. When I reach the corner before the house, I start to jog again so it looks like I was jogging the entire time then head up the driveway, up the front walk, and then push the door open.

“What are you doing?” I squeak as a shirtless Jax pulls me fully into the house, slams the door, and pushes me up against the wall. He drops to his knees, covering my sex with his mouth through the material of my workout pants, pulling so hard my head falls back and my clit pulses against his tongue.

“Jax,” I whimper, feeling his hands slide around my hips, pulling my core closer to his mouth. “Wh…what are you doing?” I ask, forcing my eyes to open. Seeing him on his knees, his mouth open over me, causes something deep inside me to start to unravel.

Letting out a loud moan, my hands fist in his hair and my head falls back against the wall with a loud thud.

“Ellie,” he groans, pulling me down to straddle his lap. One of his hands wraps around my ponytail. The other trails under my shirt then down over the skin of my belly and under the material of my pants, where one finger slides through my folds, causing my hips to jerk forward.

Placing my hands on his shoulders, our eyes connect, and my heartbeat picks up as the reality of what we’re doing hits me. “You’re safe with me, baby,” he says, reading the look on my face as I feel two fingers circle my clit over and over. Biting my lower lip, I swallow then start rocking my hips forward in sync with his fingers.

“Give me your mouth, Ellie,” he growls, nipping at my chin. Tipping my face forward, I kiss him timidly then bite his lip as I feel one finger enter me then two, which causes my breath to catch. “You’re tight, baby, so fucking tight and wet,” he groans, pulling his mouth from mine while his fingers move ruthlessly inside me. My nails dig into his shoulders and my head drops back again as I cry out, feeling the muscles of my lower body getting tighter and tighter. Then his mouth is on my breast through my shirt and his teeth clamp down on my nipple. My hips buck as the tension building in my core detonates, sending me over the edge, blinding me with white light.

Absently, I hear him whisper, “Shhh, I got you,” against my ear as he adjusts me in his lap on the floor. Burying my face in his neck, my body is shaking uncontrollably and tears have filled my eyes. I have never experienced anything like that before. It was like I came out of my skin for a few seconds. Clinging tighter to him, he rocks me against his chest while kissing my hair. Lifting my eyes to his, I swallow, trying to think of what to say.