“Yoohoo!” I teased, dangling them in the air.

“Lil! Don't you dare.”

I took off running back to the boathouse, which was a ways away, but I had a good head start as Bobby had to climb out of the water.

I huffed and puffed up the stairs, ducking just in time to clear the threshold. His footsteps crashed on the old wooden steps and then there was a loud thud as he banged his forehead into the door frame.

“Oh my god!” I started laughing so hard, I could barely breathe. “Are you—” But I couldn't get the words out to ask if he was okay. Tears leaked from my eyes and my stomach hurt, but it was a good pain. The kind of good pain Bobby made me feel.

He tried to feign anger, but he laughed, too. He had his hands cupping his nether regions, but lurked close enough to go for a sharp grab at his shorts. I barely maintained my grasp as he reached around me, tangling himself around my wet body to pull the shorts away. I twirled to untangle myself and smacked into his chest, face to face with him.

That's when he kissed me.

He dipped down and planted his lips against mine. I reared back.

“Oh shit. Fuck. Fuck. I'm sorry,” Bobby apologized, throwing his hands up, revealing his happiness down below. “Oh shit,” he cursed, covering himself with his shorts. “Lil—Fuck.”

But this was it. This was the thing that stirred me. Like a revelation, I realized at that moment, that simple kiss felt like nothing I had ever felt with Rory. That kiss busted me wide open and the ache had found a way to escape and make room for a type of bliss I had never felt before. I wanted more of that feeling.

“No,” I commanded in a hushed tone, stepping closer. “Don't stop,” I begged through a whisper.

I watched his eyes wander my body in contemplation. My wet hair trailing down my shoulders and back, my nipples taut through the clingy transparent nightgown. We stood there wet and dripping, realizing we both had the same shameful secret.

“I can't,” he muttered, his hooded eyes telling another truth. Bobby stepped in, scooping down for his lips to meet mine, and this was what was missing. It was like there was a universe I didn't know existed that just flung open its doors to me.

My heart pounded with ecstatic energy as he dropped the shorts from his hands and wrapped his arms around me. His long naked body pressed against the airy moist cotton of my nightgown. I had always seen Bobby as a boy, until this moment, until I realized what was plainly in front of me all this time: That Bobby wasn't a boy anymore. And I wasn't a girl.

This was why we had so much difficultly navigating our relationship in our newfound adulthood. Because the space between immature teasing and detached adult politeness was this unthinkable act, this forbidden desire.

Bobby’s hand wandered up my waist and over my breast, shielded by the flimsy nightgown, as he cupped it softly in his hand, rubbing the firm nipple under him thumb. His lips swept down my neck and collarbone until he met his hand. Bobby looked up at me one last time, a chance for both of us to realize the mistake we were making, and I threaded my fingers through his hair, bidding him to continue.

He yanked down the side of my nightgown, exposing my hardened nipple and rubbed his soft lips on its tip. I whimpered, titling my hips towards him, wanting my body to join his without question.

I had always wondered how animals knew what to do without being told. Now I understood. When the body wanted it, it pleaded for it. Instinct. Bobby's lips exploring my damp skin felt as natural as the cool lake at night. Like the late breeze twisting under my nightgown. I didn't realize how forced everything was with Rory until Bobby clutched me in his arms. We joined like the ocean and the sun at the horizon. They met every evening, giving birth to the beauty of dusk, not because they were expected to, but because it was their destiny.

I didn't think. I couldn't think. That's the only way I could give myself what I needed.

“Lil . . .” Bobby breathed against my temple, unable to finish.

I understood, so much was changing so quickly, and the emotions that coursed through us were so much more than could be quantified in simple phrases.

Bobby slid his hands down to my behind as he lifted me onto a rickety table, seating me on it. Our mouths smashed together and I relished the taste of his lips, his tongue. As he leaned into me, Bobby's hardness pressed against me, threatening to change everything.

I came up for air just for a second, just to look at Bobby through this new lens. Bobby was a beautiful boy, and it was beyond good looks. He radiated there in front of me. I pretended like I wasn't like everyone else who wanted to be close to Bobby. But I didn't just want to revel in that light. I wanted it inside of me so that I could shine back on him.

I reached down and gripped Bobby's display of desire in my hands; his eyes rolled up as I massaged him.

“I want you,” I murmured in his ear as I buried my face into the heat of his neck.

“I've always wanted you,” Bobby murmured back, gripping my face in his hands, kissing me with such fierceness, I could hardly breathe. I knew what the ferocity of that kiss meant, and I felt it, too. And I was scared, but it only made it that much sweeter. To be scared. Alone. With him.

He peeled down the rest of my nightgown, exposing my top half as I sat in front of him. I watched him take in the sight of me, like he had laid eyes on the most exquisite thing, like he couldn't believe this was real. Like a man who had spent his life looking for a treasure and finally had it in his clutches. I felt the same way looking at his naked body: shining, long, lean limbs with narrow muscles that ridged along his torso and arms.

I wrapped my legs around Bobby as he suckled the swelling peaks of my breasts and nipped along my collarbone, forcing me to stifle moans into his thick, roguish hair.

Bobby stood up and tried to look into my eyes. But our glares were too intense, those eyes that looked back had too much history; we couldn't hold the gaze for too long without shying away. He bit his lip as he studied his fingertips, trailing along my inner thighs, gently prying my legs open. He pushed the gown up, so that it had been reduced to merely a waistband. His fingers traveled up between my thighs, exploring the tender flesh. A breathy gasp escaped my lips as his simple touch robbed my lungs of air. I wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer, beckoning him to take his liberties.

Bobby slid one finger in me, then two, as I mewed his name. So many times before I had called out his name, but never like this. This was a new language we had invented.

I had longed so much for a touch I didn't even allow myself to covet. So strong was the urge that I felt myself shudder, an unfamiliar sensation taking over. I quivered tensely, like a guitar string being pulled taut. My breaths shortened as I let out a faint cry. But Bobby stopped as if he knew what was coming. The lingering tingles made me certain of the decision my body had already made. I wanted it all from Bobby. Every last drop.

He pressed his nose against mine. The muscles underneath my grip were thick with tension. He was fighting. Fighting nature. Fighting inevitability. Fighting destiny. Those were battles no man could win.

“I want to,” I pled. “I need to feel you inside of me.”

Again, I wrapped my fingers around his girth, sliding its head against the slickness that had formed from his touch.

“But, I've never done this,” I confessed.

Rory and I had officially dated for a year. Before that we had been on and off. But all along, while we had done other things, I wanted to save my virtue. I thought it was for my wedding night, but I realized that was never the purpose.

Doubt rushed into Bobby's eyes. “Lil, this is—”