“So, uh, I know this might be a lot to think about, but what are your plans? Who are you going to stay with?” Will inquired.

It was a lot to think about. I wasn't going back to the house. Even if Rory signed over the deed tomorrow. I would need help as the pregnancy came along, even if I had plenty of money to support myself. My sister invited me to Portland, but her house was full. And between her kids and our dad, there were more than enough people who needed to be taken care of.

Besides, I didn't want to up and leave yet. Sure, Bobby and I had plans to run away, but I spent my last days with him in these parts. His footprints were everywhere. And I wasn't ready to let go of that quite yet.

“I'm not sure. My sister invited me to Oregon. But . . . I don't think I'm ready to leave. I want to stay close to him for a while.”

“Stay with us,” he chimed.

“What? No, I couldn't. I can't impose like that.”

“It's not an imposition,” Sasha insisted.

“You two have lots going on, and you don't need an expectant woman waddling around your apartment all day.”

“It would be our honor,” Will said. “We love having you around.”

Will and Sasha were good—no—great people. Of course they would offer their place to the grieving pregnant woman. But I didn't think they should have the burden, though staying with them was exactly what I wanted to do. Being with them made me feel closer to Bobby. They radiated the same warmth he did. They knew the Bobby I knew.

Will leaned in and placed his hand on my forearm. “Lilly, let me honor my brothers by taking care of you. They both would have wanted this. I promised Bobby I would.”

I looked down as a tear trickled down my cheek.

“Remember what I said to you when we met at the club? I wasn't just saying that. You're family. That baby,” he pointed at my stomach, “is family.”

I nodded as I sniffed back tears. “Okay,” I said with a smile, wiping my cheeks. “Okay. Thank you. Really. Thank you.”

Julia arranged some time for me to go back to the house when Rory agreed not to be there. It allowed me to pack more stuff than the frantic few minutes I had as Bobby and Rory fought. She had already arranged an attorney to handle our divorce, but that would take a while between Rory fighting his own battle in the courts.

We had made the local papers, but being with Will and Sasha shielded me from the fray. They had to work that day, so Julia picked me up from their place and drove me to the house.

Everything was a memory. And I asked for this. I chose to stay in the area, with people who were close to Bobby, so I could be near these memories. But some of them were painful. Coming back to this house, my last hours here full of desperation and fear, were not the memories I stayed for.

The bedroom was pristine. I wondered how Rory had it all cleaned. I went into the closet, grabbed another suitcase and slowly packed pieces of my life away. A numbness had taken over, I assume, to protect me. Julia insisted on doing the packing for me, but I wanted to be quick and I knew what I needed.

I only had a few items left when I heard Julia speaking to someone downstairs.

“You're not supposed to be here. We agreed,” she admonished.

“Have you seen this?” he said to her.

She sighed.

“Julia, I know you knew and you didn't tell me. Please. She's still my wife.”

“A technicality.”

“If that's my baby, I need to talk to her.”

I watched from the top of the stairs. I wished it was Rory who had died. It wasn't something I was proud of. I had never wished him death before Bobby's passing, but if I could trade lives, I wouldn't hesitate to trade his with Bobby's. Even if Bobby hated me for it.

I truly never wanted to see Rory again. But now that he was here, now that he knew about the baby, and Julia was in the middle, I stepped in.

“It's fine,” I said. “I'll talk to him.”

They both looked up.

“Lilly,” Rory gasped softly.

Julia rolled her eyes. “Fine. But you are not supposed to be stressed. If there is any shouting, I'll call the police, Rory. That's the last thing you need with your legal troubles.”

“Yeah . . . thanks,” he uttered sarcastically.

Julia gave me a look, to let me know she would be there if I needed, and went outside.

Rory ran up the stairs to meet me.

“I don't know what to say,” he said.

“Well, you came all the way here. I would hope you did. Otherwise, I have nothing to say to you.”

His chest sank as despair rose to the surface. “Lilly, I'm dying. You think I wouldn't have stood in front of those bullets for him?” His eyes glossed with tears.

“Whatever you would have done, he took the bullets for you. If you had just turned yourself in—” I tried not to let myself get caught up in the anger. I didn't want our baby growing in that environment. “I don't have to tell you. You know.”

“I miss him, Lilly. I don't even care. If it meant not having you, I still would want him back. I would do anything to bring him back.”

“Well, we can't always have what we want,” I replied coldly.

He sucked back tears and looked down at my stomach. “The baby?”

“It's not yours.”

“How are you sure?”

“How do you think, Rory?”

He looked down in a mix of shame and resignation. I could see his mind race as he paced away. “Let's stay together. I'll raise him. He's a Lightly and he should stay in the family.”

“Do you think after everything that happened, I would ever let you get near this child? I don't love you, Rory. I don't want to be with you.”

“Then why? Why did you marry me?” he asked.

“I don't even know anymore,” I sighed. “We thought we were doing the right thing. And yet,” I shrugged my shoulders, raising my hands to indicate the devastation all around me.

“I'm not ready to let you go. We both made mistakes.”

“Don't equate us. And it doesn't matter if you are ready or not. I've let you go.”

“You're all I have left,” he barely uttered.

Did my heart sting at those words? Of course. Did I pity Rory? Well, I was only human. I hated that I could see Bobby in some of Rory's mannerisms. He didn't deserve to resemble Bobby. He didn't deserve to still be here. I would always resent Rory. I wasn't a big enough person to forgive him. I understood why he did the things he did, but I could never forgive them. Not after he caused me to lose so much. Not after his actions took away the father of my unborn child.

“We're done here,” I said.

“You can't keep that baby from me,” he said, reminding us both of the true Rory. If he couldn't solve things with kindness, his next step was aggression.

“I will. Because this baby is not yours. It's Bobby's.” I could have stopped there. But I wanted to make him hurt. It wasn't big of me. It wasn't right. Bobby probably would have been upset with me. But I still felt Rory hadn't suffered enough for what he caused. “You can't make children. I promise you that. You and I didn't have sex for a month because when Bobby came back, I couldn't even stand to think of you touching me. When he came back, and you went away . . . we made love, we had sex . . . we fucked,” I glowered, “so much that I was sore. Because I couldn't get enough of him. Because I always loved him. And I was sick of doing you the favor of being your wife. Being your accessory. Bobby never would have done that to me. We made a mistake, you and me. We should have never married. Bobby did in three weeks what you couldn't do in seven years. I don't know how else to explain it.”

As I said those words, staring right into Rory's eyes, I watched them redden and spill over with tears. I watched his lips form a tight line, a mixture of rage and sadness. He began to shake, and when I was done, I watched his hand quiver as he used all of his strength not to slap me.