“I want to deal with it now. I don’t want anyone touching you.”

“Yeah, well I don’t want anyone touching you, but life is unfair,” I shoot back.

“Then no one will,” he states confidently.

“Empty promises, Haden. You’re a guy, I respect that your cock needs to get laid.”

“By you,” he confirms.

Whoa. This conversation took a turn, a major turn, to God knows where. The whole dynamic of our conversation has changed and I’m rendered speechless. He has no idea of the enormity of his words, and being the rational one, I feel I have no choice but to bring him back down to reality.

“Haden,” I whisper. “We need to talk about this when you’re back. Right now, I’m tired and I have to get up for work in a couple of hours.”

“I’ll be back on Sunday. I want to see you then.”

“Okay.”

I hang up the phone, bewildered. Not even a minute later, I receive a text.

I meant what I said.

I know he meant it. I’m just not ready to deal with it.

Vicky and Kate come home not even ten minutes later. Vicky has decided to sleep over, and the second I see her walk through the door, I run to her with a razor in my hands.

She yawns. “Pres, it’s three am and you want me to shave your kitty?”

“This is an emergency situation! You don’t understand.”

“I understand that it’s three am and there is a possibility that I may give you a mullet.”

I drag her to the bathroom and close the door behind us. Kate is already in her room, drunk on her bed.

“This really can’t wait till tomorrow?”

“No, I can’t sleep knowing I let it turn into the Amazon Rainforest.”

“I must really love you to do this….” she mumbles to herself, armed with razor, soap, and water.

Ten minutes later, she’s done.

“You wanna see? Geez, I think the razor went dull.”

I laugh. “No, I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Honestly, the things I do for you.”

I wake up the next day, incredibly happy despite the lack of sleep. With a shaved kitty and a refreshing cup of tea, life has become a bed of sweet roses. Not to mention, I get another text from Haden which makes me smile.

I still mean what I said.

I don’t respond just yet, and when I receive a bouquet of flowers ten minutes later, my day gets even better. It’s a bunch of rainbow-colored roses with a card attached that says, “From your #Jerk.”

I can’t help but smile, until I notice Eloise walking towards my cubicle. Holy shit! Perfectly dressed in a pristine, white, turtleneck dress, she appears somewhat cheerful as she greets me hello and bends down to kiss me like we’re the best of friends.

My conscience and Kitty are on the run like fugitives, leaving me to deal with that god-awful emotion called guilt.

“Hi Presley, are you free for lunch?”

“Uh…I’m kinda busy,” I lie.

“It’s really important. Hey, nice roses.”

She leans in to sniff them and I thank God the card is still in my hands.

Reluctantly, I join her for lunch at another one of her green diet-friendly restaurants. She sits across from me, sipping her lawn in a glass, flashing her bright white teeth.

“So, first, I know we haven’t had a chance to catch up, but I heard everything went well with your trip to visit your parents.”

“Yes it did, thank you.”

“I’ve been so preoccupied with the wedding that I haven’t been able to give you this.”

She slides an envelope in front of me and I see the fancy cursive writing on the front. Opening it slowly, I see that it’s their wedding invitation.

“The date on there is next week,” I say, trying to control my nervous stutter.

“Yes, we made the decision to move it closer. It’s only very close family and friends at my parents’ house, so changing the date wasn’t really an issue.”

“I’m not sure what to say. I just think it would be uncomfortable for me to be there.”

“But you’re family. We’d really love to have you there.” She smiles.

My mind is reeling; did he know this information last night? Surely he had to. Then why did he go on and on about it just being us? Or was my brain reading way too much into this?

“How’re things going with the pregnancy?”

“Fine. Five weeks to go,” I respond with my best poker face.

“I’m kind of excited to say this, but since we are like family and I feel like I can really open up to you…Haden and I are trying to have a family.”

“You’re trying for a family?” I stare at her in disbelief.

“Yes. We spoke about it briefly, but I thought, why not go off the Pill now? Anyway, before he left for L.A. we had quite a night.” She leans in. “We did it three times that night. I really think we made a baby.”

The sound of my heart shattering into a million pieces echoes throughout the room, or at least that’s how it feels. I feel a stabbing pain, its persistent jabs creating deep, unfounded wounds. I’m infuriated with him, with her, at myself for believing that this fucked up story would become a fairytale.

“I think it will be perfect. Our babies can grow up together. I told Haden this morning that I had a gut feeling about it.”

“What did he say?” I can barely speak.

“He seemed pretty tired, but he said that if I am pregnant then we probably should get a bigger place for both of the babies.”

“Both babies?” This time I don’t hold back my animosity.

“He didn’t tell you?” Her face falls. “I was really hoping he did. He wants to file for joint custody. A week on, week off type of arrangement.”

Under the table, my hands sweat profusely as my blood begins to boil. “When did he tell you this?”

“We’ve been speaking about it for a while, but late last night we talked about it again. He’s got the papers drawn up.” She pulls an envelope out of her bag.

I can barely see; I’m fueled by anger and every shade of red is blinding me. My stomach is twisted into heavy knots and I feel like I’m going to be sick.

“I need to go.”

Dizzy, I stand up and leave her behind as she calls after me.

Somehow I make my way back to work, confused and utterly disappointed. At my desk, I throw the flowers into the trash and grab my scissors, angrily cutting every stem to pieces. I take a picture of it and send it to him.

Fucking #Jerk

My hands are shaking and I see Vicky standing over me, mouthing something. I try to hear her, but the warm gush of liquid running down my legs confuses me.

“Holy fuck, Pres! Your water just broke!” Vicky screams.

I look down and then back up at her in a blind panic, only to hear her yell to the office, “It’s show time, baby!”

I’ m staring at this face.

It’s soft and wrinkly and everything is so small.

              Ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes.

              It’s my baby.

My life does a complete one-eighty in just twenty-four short hours.

It all happens so fast from the moment my water breaks. In a state of denial I want to go home, but Vicky shoves me into a cab with her and we head straight to the hospital. I wasn’t experiencing any pain physically, but emotionally I was angry, hurt, and humiliated by what the Jerk did. The delusional fog I was in, which I blame on the hormones, has come to a screeching halt, and there is no time to even think about that as I lay in the hospital bed, tied up to a number of drips and monitors.