Every last bit of it brought out my panic.

I returned the charm and smiles of the other guests.  I thanked the women who stopped me to marvel at my earrings.  But I felt like the world’s biggest fraud as I swept through the room with Isabel, blending every bit into the elegant crowd as I silently wrapped my hands around the memories of Sunstone and choked them as close to death as I possibly could.

I changed my mind.

I couldn’t tell Callum what happened.

I definitely couldn’t.

I had the confession so ready for him a second ago.  It was a dark ball of frenetic energy that bounced around the walls of my mouth and waited with sick anticipation at the tip of my tongue, like it was standing at the edge of a fatal cliff, so ready to dive off and see if it might really survive.  I was convinced I was going to take the jump.  But I took one look at the beautiful people and I told myself that this was his world.  These beautiful people I had to fake being like were exactly who he was, where he came from and people like them would not accept the real me.  They would never accept the blood on my hands and the reality of what I’d done.  I knew Callum loved me but I also knew my truth would become his lifelong burden.  He’d struggle to accept me and we would eventually crash and burn in a heartbreak so much worse the second time around.

“I can’t find them,” Isabel frowned just as I caught the sharp glint of Callum’s stare across the floor.  It was already heated.  My pulse rose in my chest and in my ears.

“I can’t either,” I lied, walking us briskly away till I’d lost him. I needed air.  I needed time to suffocate my confession.  “Isabel, I’ll be right back,” I murmured, my heart thumping when through the crowd, Callum’s sharp blue eyes found me again.  They locked on me, fixed tight as he matched my pace from the other end of the room, disappearing in and out of my vision across the wall of glittering gowns and tuxes.

“Powder room,” Isabel pointed in its direction.  I nodded despite having no intention of going.  I didn’t need a powder room.  I needed a haven.  I needed a place where no one, least of all Callum, could get anywhere near me as I wrangled my bad thoughts and let them know the plan had changed.  I couldn’t confess to that filth and horror.  Certainly not here.

Eyes wild, I searched the enormous space.  My mind was in need of solitude till it was clear again and I had a hunch my best bet lay behind the staircase, closed off with velvet rope and leading to a second floor of pitch black.

My eyes flicked toward Callum.  He mirrored my pace, slowing when I did.  His predatory gaze tracked me hard, igniting my senses.  It flared my pulse in my eardrums to a loud, round, echoing sound.  I was outwardly stoic but my heart slammed like a rock in my chest as I weaved through the teeming crowd, air returning to my lungs only when I lost him again.  When I did, I waited till the next flurry of camera flashes, for the second of darkness that came after.  Click, click, click.  Flash, flash, flash.

Once it stopped, I gathered my dress and slipped undetected upstairs.

I white-knuckled the railing and closed my eyes, Trish’s reedy hiss coming right away.

“Lipstick on a piiig!”

I saw her bloodshot eyes.  Big but droopy.  My stomach turned.  Every moment flashed in front of me.  Hunt, the bed, their needles, the sling.  They throttled me senseless till I was down to the last image – the picture of Trish and the way she looked at me right before I left.  Covered in blood, hanging upside down, pleading my name.  I dug my glossy nails into the metal as I smothered the memory.

“You think you’re better than me?”

Yes.

“I didn’t do what you did.”

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Look at it! Look at what you did!”

No.

“Dirty, nasty.  Tell that boy what you did!”

No, no, no. I shook my head for Trish, digging my heels into the carpeted steps, reminding myself she couldn’t tell me what to do anymore, repeating it till I didn’t hear her voice any longer.  I know what I did.  I had to do it.  I had to.  Hot tears fell but when I opened my eyes, they were stone because Trish was gone.  I breathed out hard as I kept climbing up.  I’d gotten rid of her.

But my relief was short-lived.

Lightning flashed through the domed window and my heart slammed when I saw Callum’s long silhouette gliding across from me, ascending the opposite staircase.  Trish was gone but Callum had found me and he was still furious.  If he wasn’t before, he certainly was now.  His wolfish gaze hounded me, his every step matching mine, but I was too far from the bottom to stop and turn around.  So I kept going up.  I felt his seething eyes locked on me the whole way, rattling my bones.  I told myself to simply beat him up the stairs – to lock myself in some powder room till he’d taken a breath and looked something other than enraged.

The landing at the top of the staircase was a patch of square marble.  Callum reached it a step after me, striding firmly behind me through the dark hall.  His footsteps were neat, angry and assertive.  My pulse scattered everywhere.

“I’ll be down in a minute!” I exhaled over my shoulder.  I was nervous and breathless and he only came faster.

“I don’t care when you’ll be down.”

My pulse rose with the speed of his step.

“Just give me some time, Callum,” I begged as I gathered my dress.  I went so fast in my heels I felt like they might break and I thought for a moment he’d finally gone because I didn’t hear him anymore.  I tossed a look over my shoulder and saw nothing in the dark hall.  I let out a long breath.

But suddenly, I heard his growl.

“You’ve had enough time.”

I gasped when Callum threw me up against a wall.  I couldn’t see a thing but I could feel the cold marble behind me.  He pressed my hot skin against it.  “I won’t let you run from me again, Lake.”  His hand encompassed my throat, his words intense, breathing into my mouth.  “Tell me where you went.”  I breathed hard, couldn’t speak if I wanted to.  “Tell me!” I stared up into the domed skylight, like a massive eye raining tears with me.  A flash of lightning and I saw the fire in Callum’s stare as he pushed himself against me.  “I’m choosing you, Lake,” he hissed.  “I want you.  I love you.  I love you more than anything else in this world and I know I need to spend the rest of my life with you.”  I gasped as he thrust his tongue in my mouth, his kiss immediately dominating me.  His words seeped like medicine into my soul but just as I kissed him back, he ripped his lips from mine.  “But I can’t fucking do it if you don’t tell me everything, so tell me everything – now.”

“Callum – ”

He thrust against me.  “Do it.”

“I just – ”

He thrust again.  “Now.”

“Let me get my head straight, Callum!” I shoved him, thrusting my hands in my hair.  Fuck.  How easy was I? He said it.  I love you.  Three words from him and I was back to asking myself if I could tell him.  I almost wanted to.  But how? I tangled my fingers in my hair, tearing apart my up-do.  I felt Callum’s hands increasingly impatient on me, tugging at me, ripping at me and stretching down my dress.  “Callum, I don’t even know where to start – ”

“Find a place,” he growled, jerking me into his chest.  My dress slid out of place on my body.  “Do it now.”  He fisted handfuls of silk jersey.  I felt my breast expose, cold air hit my legs.  “Go.  Go on, Lake.  Do it.”

“Stop it!” I resented the rush as much as the time and the place.  “Callum, can’t you just – ”

He slammed me back on the wall.  “What?” he demanded.

“I can’t think right now, Callum!”

“Even better.  Don’t think, just speak.  Let it out.  Let it all out and tell me!”