I wish never had to go home.

“It sucks Coach isn’t letting you practice with us,” Logan says as I collect my books from the locker. “By the time you get your grades up, you’re going to be useless.”

“Gee, thanks.” I slam my locker shut then rest my shoulder against it. “You don’t have to be an asshole about everything. You do get that, right?”

He grins arrogantly. “That’s exactly what I’m supposed to do since we run this damn school.”

“Wow, what a fucking accomplishment.” My voice drips with sarcasm. “You know there’s like, maybe a hundred people who go to our school, right? That’s nothing.”

Logan doesn’t bother to move out of the way as a girl tries to squeeze around him to get to her locker. “God, you’ve been such a little bitch lately. What the hell is wrong with you? Is Piper not putting out or what?”

I push him out of the way, not very gently, to help the girl out, and he stumbles back, his shoes scuffing against the linoleum floor. The girl offers me a tense but grateful smile then quickly spins the combo to her locker.

Logan gives me a dirty look as he regains his footing. “Screw you, Grey. You think you’re better than you are.” He backs down the hallway, sneering. “Oh, yeah, and have fun with your little tutoring thing while all the rest of us who aren’t stupid enough to get put on academic probation work our asses off to hold up the team. I’m sure you’ll have a blast trying to learn shit from Luna Harvey.” He says her name like there’s something funny about it, probably because in tenth grade, he told everyone how she asked me out, and I rudely turned her down because I was a dick back then.

She was shier than she is now, and she wore clothes that covered up every inch of her body. The outfits were always weird, too. Like this one time, she wore a baggy sweater with bright yellow bears on it and a pair of baggy, tan pants that looked big enough to fit a guy. I want to say it didn’t matter to me, but I was a jerk back then. I cared way too much about what people like Logan thought of me. I didn’t understand that not everyone had enough money to buy whatever they wanted, including nice clothes. Now I understand more than I want to.

I understand a lot of things now, like when I saw Luna stealing stuff at Benny’s store. All those horrible outfits she used to wear were probably because she couldn’t afford anything nicer. She does dress better now, but I’ve seen her friends giving her clothes during school. It’s why I took her jacket. I didn’t want her getting into trouble like I did.

I stuff my books in the bag then back down the hallway in the opposite direction as Logan, calling out, “Well, at least I won’t be wasting my time hanging around at the meet up for the millionth time, getting trashed and waiting around for something exciting to happen that never does.”

He flips me the middle finger. “Yeah, I’ll make sure to tell that to Piper and Jane when I’m there tonight. Guess I’ll just have to entertain them both since your dumbass isn’t going to be there.” He thrusts his hips a few times before spinning around and heading off toward the gym.

As he walks under the banner advertising the fall formal in a few weeks, he jumps up, slaps his hand against it, and knocks it down.

He’s such an asshole. I don’t even know why I’m friends with him anymore other than I’ve been friends with him forever, and he’s just there all the time. I wish I had the balls to end our friendship. I want to with most of my friends honestly, but I’m not sure I could handle being alone. Of course, most of the time, I feel alone even when people surround me.

Bottling down my irritation, I shove out the doors that lead to the side of the school, ready to get the hell away from this place and everyone in it. But Piper cuts me off.

“Hey, baby,” she says, walking across the grass toward me. “I’m glad I caught you before you left.”

I’m not. “What do you want?”

“God, what’s with the attitude?” she snaps. “You’ve been like this for months now. It’s getting ridiculous.”

I take a deep breath and try again, reminding myself that I’m trying to be a better person, and this is not the way to do that. “What’s up?”

She arches her back, pressing her chest against mine. “See? There’s the old Grey I know.” Her fingers thread through my hair as she pulls me in for a quick kiss.

My jaw ticks. While I want to appear like I still have my life in control, I don’t want to be who I used to be anymore. I want to be someone different, someone nicer. I want to be someone who doesn’t lie to their father while he’s on his deathbed.

Piper starts yammering about the dance coming up next month, and I zone out, thinking about what my dad said to me right before he died.

“Make sure to live your life to the fullest. Do what makes you happy, Grey.” His eyes begged me to understand his full meaning as he clutched my hand. “Surround yourself with people who make you happy. I want you to always be able to look back on your life and be able to smile at all the great things you do.”

“And my dress looks so hot.” Piper hooks her arms around the back of my neck. “You’re going to seriously lose your mind when you see me in it.”

I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall. I haven’t asked her to the dance yet, and I don’t plan on it. Dances are expensive and overrated. Besides, I’m not sure we will still be together in a month when the dance is taking place. The only reason our relationship has lasted this long is because I went MIA for the entire summer after my father passed away and barely spoke to her or any of my other friends, for that matter. She didn’t care that much—no one did—and when we did speak, she complained that I was, as she put it, too depressing.

School’s been going for a few weeks now, and she keeps making comments about how different I am. I hate that she doesn’t understand. I tried to open up to her about it once, but again, she told me I was being too depressing and quickly shut down the conversation.

She doesn’t make me happy.

Why am I still with her?

“Sound good?” Piper asks, batting her eyelashes at me.

“Um . . . I guess so,” I say, unsure what I’m agreeing to.

She stands on her tiptoes and presses her lips to mine, giving me a deep kiss. “Yummy.” She moves back. “Oh, and Grey? No more taking girls around to the back of the school; otherwise, I’m going to get upset. And you know that, when I get upset, someone has to pay for it, and that’s usually the person who hurt me,” she says sweetly, but her eyes carry a threat.

I frown as she waggles her fingers at me then ambles back across the grass, swaying her hips.

God, I really need to break up with her, stop dragging out the inevitable. I just don’t know how to do it without pissing her off. Piper is all about the drama. I’ve seen her make it her mission to break down people she doesn’t like. She finds out their secrets and tells every person she knows. I don’t want to deal with that shit. I just want a quiet, normal life, a fresh start. A second chance to do things better, I guess.

I leave the school, feeling frustrated. As I’m rounding the corner of the building, I hear the sound of fabric ripping. The next thing I know, my books are scattered all over the ground.

Cursing, I slip off the backpack and look at the damage. It tore right along the seam, so I think it’s fixable. Still, getting home today is going to be a pain in the ass.

I bend over, pick up my books, and finish the walk around to the back of the school. I move past the cars and the shed woodshop takes place in, hiking all the way to the hill about a half a mile away from school. Then I duck into the trees and retrieve my rusty, piece of shit bike I hid this morning where no one could stumble across it or see me riding it to school.