She wanted to swoon, all of her girlish dreams coming true in this moment. But something in her knew to protect herself. Had to after all she knew of loss—the kind that happened when someone died. And the kind that happened when the people who were supposed to love you simply stepped out of your life.

Don’t be stupid. Be the smart girl you’re supposed to be. Except that you never have been when it comes to him.

“Jamie. You’re still inside me and I’m still in your chains. Do you think . . . maybe we can talk about this after you take me down and my head is back on straight?”

“What? Of course. Fuck. This isn’t the right time. I know that. I’m being irresponsible. It’s just that when I hold you in my arms, Summer Grace . . . Well, yeah, let’s take you down, baby.”

He stepped on the pedal and there was the low groan of metal parts moving, the sensation of her chains loosening. When they’d gone slack, Jamie carefully unwrapped her, handling her body very precisely, and in some way that made her feel . . . precious. As the words he’d spoken a few moments earlier ran through her mind, emotion spiraled, making her chest ache. For what could have been. For what was right now. With fear about the future—or the lack of one.

What if this doesn’t work out?

Her pulse fluttered. She’d given him her body, and maybe more important, her submission. The stakes were higher than ever. She wasn’t sure she’d land on her feet if he let her fall. Stubbornly, she bit the tears back. She was just subspaced—coming down from the incredible heights of sensation and power dynamic.

Nothing more than that. A simple explanation. It’ll be okay. You can do this.

He kissed her skin where the chains had bitten into her shoulders, so softly it made her want to melt inside. But she fought it. There were places she couldn’t go, even with him. Or maybe especially with him. Places too deep, too dark. She wasn’t sure what was in there herself.

The chains lay in gleaming coils at their feet as he lifted her in his arms, carrying her up the metal stairs that led to a loft area she’d never seen. Her body was soft and pliant against his, seeking the warmth, but inside her a battle was beginning to rage. Her mind was spinning with doubt, possibilities, hope, dread, all at the same time. By the time they reached the top of the stairs and Jamie stepped into a lounge area with a pair of black leather couches, she was biting her lip, biting back the swirling mess of emotion that threatened to come bursting out.

He sat down with her in his lap, pulling a soft, gray blanket from somewhere and wrapping her in it. She was acutely aware of the rough denim of his jeans, the edge of the still-open zipper beneath her thighs. Of his scent—dark, sweet, smoky wood and motor oil and soap, maybe. Familiar. Heady. She could smell his come in the air, and her own. She heard the low whirring of the small refrigerator in one corner, a car going by outside, felt the ever-present humidity of New Orleans. And wondered how she could even notice these things in her present state.

Jamie lifted her chin in his hand, forcing her gaze to his. “Sugar, where are you?”

“I’m here. I’m right here.”

He shook his head slowly. “No, you’re in some faraway place. Talk to me, Summer Grace. Was the play too much?”

“No, the play was wonderful.”

“Then what?”

“It was . . . God, Jamie, it’s everything.” She knew it was all about to explode, but she couldn’t stop it. “It’s the play and the sex and the things you said to me down there.” She squirmed, her fingers catching the edge of the blanket, her muscles too tense to hold still.

Jamie caught one hand in his, lacing his fingers through hers. He said quietly, “Tell me.”

“You don’t see it? The promise that kept you away—you held on to it for years. It’s hard to believe it’s not there anymore, or that your perspective has really shifted. That the shadow of my brother—my wonderful brother—won’t get between us again.” She stopped, took a breath. “It’s us being together exactly as it was meant to be, like you said. But it’s also us being together despite our history, and my brother, and the years of . . . of yearning and anticipation. I can barely stand it—how important it feels. How do we do this? With every other man I’ve been with, I’ve always known exactly what to do. And now, with you, I feel like some virgin. Me, of all people, wide-eyed and innocent somehow—the girl who spent her adolescence sneaking into your bed. How ridiculous is that? But that’s how it feels.”

He’d been watching her very carefully as she spoke, his dark brows drawing together as he tried to understand what she was saying. She knew the words had come out in a tumble of confusion.

“Okay. Okay. It is everything, Summer Grace. It’s intense and a little insane. It’s loaded. Brandon’s presence will always be in both our lives, and losing him the way we did will always affect us. We have that in common, our losses, our brothers. Ian. Brandon. Even my brother Allister sort of withdrew into himself. And we both lost our parents in a way, when losing a child was too much for them to handle. We had to take care of things, take care of ourselves and grow up fast. Don’t think I didn’t see that, that I don’t get it, because out of anyone else in the world, I recognize it. Yeah, it’s all of that. It is important. It will be no matter how this turns out. But how we do this is by existing, being in the moment. That’s how I have to do this. Because projecting into the future has kept me from being with you long enough. Far too fucking long. And now we have this connection that’s powerful and rare, in my experience. Desires we can’t express with just anyone. It feels right, doesn’t it? It’s fucking complicated and insane and beautiful at the same time. It feels so right to me.”

The tears pooled, hot behind her eyelids. She did not want to cry. She couldn’t stand it if he saw her tears right now.

“Yes, Jamie, but it’s still a little Goddamn overwhelming.”

He cracked a smile. “You must be coming back to yourself if you’re cussing at me.”

“I’m always cussing at you.”

His face sobered. “Not tonight, you didn’t.”

“No,” she agreed. “Not tonight.”

He stroked her hair from her cheek, pushed his fingers into the long strands and held on tight. Her body went loose and she leaned into him. When he released her hair, she looked down into her blanket-covered lap.

“Jamie, I’ll be honest with you. This is scary. I don’t like that I’m not in control. Of anything. Of myself, most of all.”

“What did you think submission meant, sweetheart? You have to give yourself over to it or it doesn’t work. And you did. I felt your compliance. Your release.”

“So did I. I felt it with Maîtresse Renee, but nothing like this—like it is with you.”

He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her in tight, until she could feel the hard planes of his chest against her side. He felt so solid and warm and safe. And yet nothing felt safe.

She shook her head, unable to figure it all out. “Jamie, please don’t.”

“Don’t what, sugar? You’re safe with me.”

God, and now the man was reading her mind. “Am I?”

“Hey,” he said, his tone gentle. “You know you are, Summer Grace. I’ll take care of you.”

“No.” She pushed away from him and got to her feet. It didn’t matter that she was naked other than the blanket, which she held around her like a shield. Her heart was hammering out of her chest. And all she knew was the need to run. She caught Jamie’s confused expression as he rose to his feet before she turned and did just that, her bare feet echoing on the metal stairs.

*   *   *

HE HADN’T BEEN expecting her to jump up and run off like some frightened deer. Hell, maybe that’s what she was right now. And he’d put her in that vulnerable place.