“You know,” he started, his tone low and soft, “I never knew how affected you were by Brandon dying. I thought maybe you were too young to really get it, but now I know better. You hid it so well.”

“I had to. My parents were so messed up. I felt everything falling apart. I needed to be the one who held it together.” Tears welled, and she let them pool in her eyes. “But I couldn’t do it, Jamie. I feel like . . . I failed. My family broke apart. Shattered into a million pieces, like some puzzle I couldn’t put back together. And I broke. I broke and you were too broken by it for me to lean on you.”

“But fuck, Summer Grace—that was my job. You should have told me how bad things were.”

“There were times I wanted to, but you weren’t really around after a while. You got married and I couldn’t talk to you then. Impossible. Because I loved you even back then, when I was sixteen years old. People say a teenager knows nothing about love, but I did. I knew.” She looked up, caught his gaze with hers. “I knew, Jamie. I still know.”

His throat was so tight with emotion he could barely get the words out. “Summer Grace. Goddamn it, I love you so much.”

He moved in to kiss her and she turned away with a sharp laugh. “I love you, too, but Jesus, Jamie—you can’t kiss me when I look like this.”

He grabbed her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. “I can and I will. I want to. I want to kiss you all the time. I don’t fucking care if you’ve been sobbing for twenty-four hours straight, except that I never want that to happen again.”

He looked into her swollen eyes—they were the same cornflower blue. His girl’s eyes. He smiled at her for a moment before he moved in and kissed her. There was a small hiccup from her, then she gave in, her mouth going loose under his. Her arms twined around his neck and he pulled her closer, held her tight until he could really feel her, heartbeat to heartbeat.

He pulled back to ask, “Okay. What else are you mad at me about? Let’s get it all out of the way right now—get it over with.”

“I don’t think I’m mad anymore. At myself, maybe, but that’s just going to take some time. I should have faced this stuff years ago—or at least once I became an adult. I feel like I don’t really have an excuse. Except that it was all simply too big for me to deal with. I think . . . I think I’ve been afraid that if I let myself feel it, I’d end up like . . . well, like this.”

“But you survived it.”

“Only because of you and Annalee and Dennie.”

“Hell, I’m half the reason you ended up here. But in the end you survived it because of how strong you are.”

She tucked her hair behind one ear. “I don’t know about that. I think a lot of the strength I let people see is me covering up the part that’s too raw to show anyone.”

“You’re showing it to me now. You’ve shown some of it to me every time we’ve played together. The people who think there’s some intrinsic weakness in being submissive have no concept of the strength it takes. And you have it, Summer Grace—you do. You’ve always had it. You had the strength to hide your pain. It doesn’t matter that eventually it kind of exploded. You were strong enough to keep a lid on it all that time.”

She cracked a smile. “How do you manage to make me sound so grand when I’m sitting here in tear-soaked pajamas that don’t even belong to me because a bad-tempered old cat died?”

He smiled at her, smiled at the light reappearing in her blue eyes. “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

“Well I’ve got news for you, Jamie Stewart-Greer—there’s not going to be any ‘having’ me until I’ve had a good long shower and maybe some food.”

“Deal. But brace yourself, because I’m about to kiss the pants off you, sugar.”

He threw back the covers and pulled her into his lap, his arms tight around her slender body, his mouth coming down hard on hers.

Her lips were so damn soft. She opened to him right away, the resistance gone out of her. Her hands went to his shoulders, then his cheeks, behind his neck. She held on to him so tight—tight enough that he knew she was going to be all right—that they would be all right. And all was right with his world.

CHAPTER

Thirteen

SUMMER TENSED AS they walked into her house, but Jamie had asked Duff to take Madame to a local veterinary office to have them dispose of her body, and to air out the house. She inhaled carefully, but she smelled nothing but the sultry New Orleans air and maybe some of the rosemary and hibiscus growing in her garden.

As Jamie closed the front door, she turned to him. “Jamie? Is it bad that I didn’t say good-bye to Madame? I didn’t want to come home to that—I couldn’t—but I feel bad.”

“You’re more into this spiritual stuff than I am, but don’t you think she knows you loved her? And isn’t that the only important thing—the love?”

“You’re right.” She smiled up at him as she snuggled into his arms. “I love you, Jamie.”

“I love you, baby. Love you, love you, love you,” he whispered into her hair. “And I’ll love you forever. I will. Don’t you dare doubt it.”

Her smile spread until she felt her cheek crease against his muscled chest. “Yes, sir.”

“Sassy girl.”

“But you wouldn’t have me any other way.”

“It’s true. I only want you, Summer Grace, exactly as you are.”

“Jamie?”

“Hmm?”

“Can it be time for that ‘having’ me you were talking about earlier?”

“I think it was you who was talking about it, my insatiable girl,” he said, but he was sliding his hand into her hair and up the back of her scalp, pulling tightly.

She sighed. “Mmm, when you pull my hair like that, I am.”

He picked her up and she laced her legs around his waist, and he kissed her as he carried her into the bedroom. Setting her down on the bed, he knelt to pull off her sandals, then her yoga pants.

“As much as I love the pretty lingerie you get from work, I think I prefer it when you go without.”

“It’s only because I didn’t have any clean stuff with me at Dennie’s.”

“Either way, it’s working for me.” He took her hand and pressed it against his erection under the denim of his jeans.

“Oh, so it is,” she agreed, her body melting.

Cupping his hard length in her palm, she remembered what it felt like to have him inside her. Her sex squeezed, ached for him.

He moaned softly, covered her hand with his and pressed down hard.

“Sugar, if you keep this up—not that I’m complaining—this is gonna be over before it starts.”

She bit her lip. “What if I want to put it in my mouth?”

He groaned. “Christ, you kill me.”

She looked up at him. “I haven’t even tried yet,” she said.

“Oh, you are a sassy girl. Come here and let me teach you a lesson.”

He grabbed her, and before she knew what was happening, he had her over his knee, her bare bottom in the air. He gave her a good smack, making her yelp.

“Oh, come on, sugar—that was nothing.”

“I’m a delicate flower tonight, Jamie.”

“Ah, baby.” He turned her over and lifted her into his lap. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Jamie, it’s okay. I was joking.” She reached up and stroked his strong cheek, let her fingertips trace the metal bar through his eyebrow. “Thank you for being so sweet to me. And I love you. And I’m also needing you. Please?”

She boldly took his hand and placed it between her thighs, holding it there until he began to explore, his fingers slipping into her wet heat.

“Nice.” He smiled, kissed her lips, pulled back to whisper, “Very nice,” as he rubbed her juices over her clitoris, then began to slide his fingers back and forth over the sensitive nub. “Come on, my sugar girl. Tonight I’m going to be a service Top. I’m gonna make you come, over and over. That’s what I want more than anything—to make you feel good.”