“Sweetie, what’s up? Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything.” James’s soft and sensitive side was making the appearance Anna had been dreading. She knew she wasn’t ready to explain but keeping things from him wouldn’t help…him or her.

She felt guilty for lying but knew it was the best way to deal with it at the moment. “It’s nothing. Honest,” she said, kissing him gently before wriggling out of his grasp.

That night James and Anna had been invited to a barbecue with one of James’s oldest and dearest friends, Justin. It was nothing formal or outrageous, just your typical everyday barbecue in the freezing cold night air. Justin had let the cat out of the bag that it was in fact a mini engagement celebration.

When they arrived the party was in full swing. The celebrations had already kicked off. The champagne was flowing; the chat loud and constant, and Anna felt instantly she was out of place. She had come to accept pretty early on in their relationship when James was in ‘business mode’ she was an accessory. But amongst friends she was always treated as his equal, and that was a feeling she liked. The toasts and the congratulations started and all of a sudden, without warning, Anna stood up and fled. She pushed straight past Justin and out the door. When James stood up to chase her, Justin shook his head slowly.

***

Justin

Anna sat, rocking back and forth on the tyre swing. Her hair was flowing down her back, getting caught on the breeze. Her black pants and crimson turtleneck didn’t provide much of a camouflage as Justin found her easily. He just walked up behind her and started pushing her, ever so gently. “What’s up, baby girl?” He smiled. He had called her baby ever since they had first met. Neither of them knew exactly why that had caught on but it was familiar now, and in a strange sort of way it was reassuring to know no matter what happened not everyone changes.

“I don’t know. I just don’t know,” Anna suddenly stopped sobbing, putting her feet firmly on the ground to stop the rocking motion. “I love James, I really do. You have to believe me.” She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“I know you do. We all do. So want to tell me what’s really going on here?” Justin could see the distress and pain etched into her face. This was not the Anna he had come to know and adore.

“I know James likes me…I’m just not sure that…well, I’m not sure he loves me.” Anna was staring straight up into the inky black night sky. It was as if she was talking to the stars, waiting for their answer, waiting for her destiny to fall from the heavens and make everything okay.

“Oh…Anna. James does love you. We can all see how crazy he is about you. To tell you the truth, I don’t think I have ever seen him so damn disgustingly happy. The one thing you need to remember is I was there when he won those medals and broke all those records. Even when I think about how happy those achievements made him, I still see that each day he spends with you, his happiness grows. He really does love you, Anna. Why do you question that?” Out of all the things Justin had prepared himself to hear, the possibility of James not loving her had not been a consideration.

“It’s just…I don’t know. He just doesn’t seem happy somehow. And I don’t blame him…really I don’t. He could do so much better than me. I mean, look at me. Then think of all the people he knew. I just think it would be better for him in the long run if I just let him go.” Anna had stopped crying and her eyes were dry. Anna looked like she believed every word he was saying.

It broke his heart. She wasn’t trying to be a bitch. He could see all Anna wanted was to give James a chance at the life he deserved.

“Baby girl.” Justin didn’t know what else to say. He knew James loved her with all his heart and he was sure without her James would find no purpose in his life. But he could understand where Anna was coming from. James did know a lot of people but surely that didn’t mean he would prefer them. Did it?

“I’m going to go. I’ll get out of the hotel before he gets back, that way it will be easier. Thanks for everything, Justin. I do love him, you know…this is…it’s for the best.” Anna stood up and walked away. She spoke not another word. That was it. She was just going to walk out of his life. Without warning it would all be over.

Justin felt like an arse. He just watched silently as his best mate’s girlfriend walked away from him. And what’s worse, James didn’t even know yet. Justin knew he had to be the one to tell James Anna was gone. He would be the one standing there, watching as the pain and reality settled in after the initial shock had worn off. In a sad way he understood what Anna said. It kind of did make sense or at least it would have if the person she was talking about was someone other than James. James loved that girl so much yet still she couldn’t see it.

Justin sat motionless on the swing, unable to force himself to put one foot in front of the other. He’d completely drifted away with the fairies. He was so oblivious he didn’t even hear the door close as James wandered over to him.

“Where is she?” he asked, his voice shaking. His eyes were already full of pain and sorrow. Justin couldn’t help but to wonder if in some strange way he already knew.

“She’s gone,” Justin said, barely louder than a whisper. He didn’t know what else to say. He was about to break his best friend’s heart and he just didn’t want to do it.

“What? Where did she go? What happened? When is she coming back?” James pleaded for answers. Neither man looked at each other; instead they both looked up at the clouds that were rolling across the night sky. It was in the silence Justin realised just hoping for answers wasn’t enough.

“James, she’s gone. She loves you so much, you know, but in the end sometimes that isn’t enough.” Justin saw the change in James. “Anna basically said you deserve more than her. More than she could ever give you. She wants you to be happy and she doesn’t think she can give you that. Sorry, man.”

James jumped. Without hesitation he fumbled in his pocket for his car keys, “I’m not letting her go. I don’t deserve more. Anna’s it. The one I want to spend the rest of my life with. That’s my choice. I love her more than you could possibly imagine. And neither of you know me if you think I’m going to sit here and let her go.” James spat out the words before he spun on his heel and jogged up the driveway.

Justin watched as his best mate fell apart. They’d been friends forever, since before they knew what girls were. And he could read the pain on James face. He hadn’t even bothered to hide it.

Forcing the lump in his throat down, Justin couldn’t help but feel like something bad was about to happen. There was a gnawing in the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t ignore. The horrible feeling of knowing. Of suspecting. Of dreading. The kind of knowing you can feel deep down inside of you. That same knowing of what was right and what was wrong. And clearly this was wrong.

***

Anna

Anna climbed out of the taxi and dashed inside. She felt weak in the knees as she staggered into the hotel. Anna realised that if she was going to go through this she needed a drink. A stiff one. Quickly she stumbled into the bar and perched herself on a stool.

“Hello, Miss. What can I get you?” a gravelly voice casually asked.

“A vodka soda, thanks,” Anna replied without even looking up.

Silently he poured the drink and sat it in front of her. Anna raised her eyes and then she saw him—the man who had thrown her completely off balance at the gym earlier this morning. “Hi,” he grinned, flashing the perfect white teeth.

Anna felt the blood rush to her face and she was at a loss as to what to do or even say. Eventually she managed to splutter, “Hi.” Her mouth was dry and a lump had mysteriously developed in her throat.