“Hell, Jamie, this is all new to me. You two sprang it on me—and I’m not saying that to hit you over the head with it, okay? Just stating a fact. But I wasn’t ready for it. Not that I haven’t thought of being with Allie again, which I’m sure you know, but that was just fantasy material. Until now. Now it’s damn real, and I have Allie to be responsible for, without knowing what I’m even fucking capable of these days, outside of the BDSM arena.”

“Yeah, I get it, Mick.”

He took another gulp of his beer. “I don’t know if I can give her what she wants. But I don’t know if I can stop. It’s a tug-of-war in my head.”

No, he couldn’t stop now. Having had this taste of Allie—of Allie as a woman, rather than a girl—was something he couldn’t resist.

No, he wasn’t about to stop.

*   *   *

ALLIE SWUNG OPEN the back door to Marie Dawn’s house and walked into the cozy blue-and-white kitchen.

“Hi, honey, I’m home!” she called out as she let the screen door shut behind her.

Her best friend came in from the dining room and immediately wrapped Allie in a warm hug.

“Allie, chérie, I’ve missed you! I’m so sorry I couldn’t make lunch yesterday. If it had been anything other than an emergency with grand-mère . . . I feel terrible that it turned out to be nothing more than a little indigestion.”

“You had no way of knowing—it’s fine. And I’ve missed you, too.” She pulled away and held Marie Dawn at arm’s length. “And look how gorgeous your hair is! It’s almost to your waist. I love it.”

“So does Neal,” her friend said, beaming.

Mick’s brother Neal and Marie Dawn had eloped when she was still in college, and they were still as crazy about each other as they’d been the day they said their vows.

Must be nice.

“Let me get you some coffee. How hungry are you? I have a nice Niçoise salad ready, but I’m dying to hear everything.”

Allie sat down at the painted white kitchen table and let Marie Dawn place a cup of coffee in front of her while she tried to organize the chaos whirling around in her brain. She’d lied to Mick that morning when she’d told him she was fine. And either she’d done a great job of it, or he’d been anxious enough to get away that he’d accepted it. Maybe a little of both.

“Everything is a lot,” she said, playing with her coffee mug.

Marie Dawn sat down across from her. “Okay. Pick a place and start.”

Allie blew out a breath. “Well . . . Mick came to my place to pick me up, and things started to happen right away. I mean, it was obvious who was in charge from that first moment. And I liked it. I’m not complaining. We had an amazing scene at the club. Everything went really smoothly.” She laughed. “Well, not smoothly, maybe. The play was a little too rough for that to be the right word. But I know you don’t really want to know that part.”

Marie Dawn smiled. “Nope. The sexy stuff with my brother-in-law I don’t need to hear. I’ll just mentally fill in the blanks. Or not. Go on.”

“So, during aftercare we talked . . . and it was good. Honest. More honest than we’ve ever been, probably. I made him talk to me about what had gone wrong with us. In high school, and after that night we spent together later.”

“And?”

Allie bit her lip. “And . . . I asked him if we could start again. I didn’t expect to blurt it out the way I did, and I think he was surprised, too. Although neither of us should be, I suppose. I wouldn’t have forced this whole thing if that wasn’t at least part of my intention. And he wouldn’t have accepted—and he certainly wouldn’t have come back for a second round after that first night—if that weren’t part of his intention, too. At least I think so. Things got a little confusing later, but at the club after the scene we really talked. And he admitted a few things to me—things I’d already suspected, for the most part. About us. About how he felt after his accident. I knew it changed him, but I never really saw how deeply breaking his leg, having the rod surgery, the permanent limp, damaged him, maybe because I only actually saw him once after that.”

Marie Dawn nodded pensively. “I knew he never got over not being able to be a firefighter. Neal and I have talked about it. The whole family is aware of it. They’ve always been careful not to guilt-trip him about it.”

“They don’t need to—I think he does enough of that himself. He feels so ashamed. Because of the family, and because of that family pride in New Orleans, being a part of it.”

“Which is crazy,” Marie Dawn said. “I told you how much volunteer work he did after Katrina. For three years he worked on rebuilding people’s homes with Jamie’s brother, Allister. He still volunteers once in a while if a particular project comes up. It’s not as if he’s never paid his dues to this city. He likes to pretend he’s a badass, with all that bare-knuckle boxing stuff and his leather jackets, but he’s as good a citizen as any of his brothers.”

“I know. But he’s obviously never gotten over it. It’s really shaped how he feels about himself. And maybe how he feels about me.”

“In the past, or now?”

“Both, maybe. Because things were going really beautifully last night and then he just . . . turned away from me. Literally. Everything was amazing and . . . beautiful. And then he wouldn’t look at me anymore.”

Tears burned in her eyes, and she pressed against them with both hands.

Marie Dawn put a hand on her arm. “Oh, no, chérie, my sweet, please don’t be so sad. Men can be stupid creatures. Believe me, I know—I’ve been married to one for ten years.”

Allie had to smile. She took her hands away from her face and grasped both of her friend’s. “You’re right. And Mick’s stubborn as hell, too—a combination that scares me. But I know if I turn away we won’t have a chance.”

“It’s often the woman who has to take care of a relationship. And that’s my sexist comment for the day. But I think you’ll need to if you two are going to have a shot at being together. Because to get Mick to admit he’s afraid of anything will be pretty much impossible.”

Allie rolled her eyes. “That’s for sure. I just have to hang in there and see how this all plays out, I guess.”

“You can do it. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”

“I don’t always feel strong. But I’m trying.”

“When are you seeing him again?”

Allie shrugged. She’d been wondering the same thing all morning. “I don’t know. We didn’t actually talk about it. I assumed I’d just wait to hear from him, but now I think I’ll send him an email and ask.”

“Sweetie, just call him and demand his time.” Her friend tapped her temple. “Stupid, remember?”

Allie laughed. “I remember. Okay, I’ll call him.”

“Good. And when you talk to him, you can tell him I think he’s an idiot who’s too blind to see what’s right in front of his face.”

“How about I leave that to you? You’re family. And he won’t threaten to spank you.”

“I thought you liked that?”

She grinned. “Oh, I do.”

The banter with her best friend was cheering her up. So was the idea that she could take back some of the control in the situation by initiating her next meeting with Mick. She was going to have to in order to work past his walls, and maybe her own, too. Only time together would tell. If she had to force that time with him, she would. Dom or not, the ball was going to be in her court, and Mick would have to play by her rules for a while.

*   *   *

ALLIE HAD SPENT the rest of the afternoon organizing the PowerPoint presentation she was putting together for the Dolcetti expansion. Knowing the stubborn streak that ran in her family, she understood it was a long shot, but it was important to her to try—it was something she’d thought about and wanted to do since she’d first started culinary school. It was why she’d gone to learn the art of pastry to begin with. And putting her business plan together was also an excellent way to distract herself from the circling thoughts about Mick. She was dying to call and talk with him now that she’d made the decision, since he’d encouraged her to press the issue with her family, but she also knew guys usually needed some downtime to process things.