Maybe, he’ll hate me so much he won’t speak to me again. And he’ll tell Josie. Josie won’t forgive me either. Why should she? I lay my head on the cool tile of the bar and attempt to stay calm.

What was I thinking? Do I simply throw away the best things in my life? For the first time, I’m with a guy who makes me happy. A guy who cares about what I think. Who wants to spend time with me. And Josie’s a bonus. I need her.

True affection from real, honest people. Wesley took all that away from me.

I deserve a little happiness, don’t I?

I go to my refrigerator and search for a cool drink. My body temperature has risen to boiling in the past minutes, listening to their voices, and then imagining how that fight could’ve been me and Leo.

You broke into my apartment? You went through my things?

Maybe if he gets to know me a little better, if we allow this attraction to evolve, he’ll understand when I tell him everything. I’m such a coward, and I’ve lost so much this year. My entire identity dissolved with the disclosure of one police report when Wesley died. I can’t risk it. I take a gulp of cool water.

The yelling next door stops abruptly and there’s a final door slam.

My lungs burn with an effort to stay calm. I take another gulp of water and wait in silence. I wait for hours with the expectation that he’ll knock at my door and tell me what happened. That he’ll pour his heart out to me and share whatever has turned him inside out.

I want him to be okay.

It’s late afternoon before I give up on Leo. The afternoon sun is filtering in my windows, and I’m silly stupid for still waiting on him. We are not even a couple.

I decide that I can’t sit in my apartment any longer. It’s time for me to break free of the chains I’ve put upon myself and act like a grownup. A sane grownup.

The hallway is hot since the air-conditioning doesn’t cool this space. I fan myself and knock softly on Leo’s door. “It’s Harper.” The last thing I want is for Leo to suspect Tori is back for more.

He doesn’t answer and I press my ear to the door. Then I quickly pull back in case he’s looking at me through the peephole discovering that I am a psycho after all. A strand of my loose hair catches on something from the door and I struggle to loosen it.

So much appearing sane.

After he doesn’t answer his door, I return to my apartment. One glance out my window tells me his vehicle is in the lot and he’s at home.

I grab my purse and keys. I’ll go and talk to Josie. I have to get out.

There’s a doorway leading to metal stairs on the outside of the building. It tends to stick, so I’m surprised when I shove and hit something solid.

“Hey. Careful.” Leo’s husky voice reaches me as I get halfway through the door.

I’m so surprised to find him out on the landing that I don’t know what to say at first. It seems silly to say I’ve been wondering where he is. He owes me no explanation. We’ve edged into that no-man’s land between friendship and more. Still, I hurt because he hurts. Even more, I want to make her pay for whatever she’s done to him.

Leo sits on the landing, before the first metal step that leads down to the parking lot. He’s leaned back against the brick of the building with one knee cocked up. “Going somewhere?”

“Oh,” I answer and look down at my purse. “I thought I’d get out for a while.”

He narrows his eyes at me and takes a swig from his beer. “I wish you wouldn’t. Can I convince you to stay?”

I give him a small smile. “Of course.”

“Good,” he says. He holds up the beer. “Can I get you a drink?”

I groan. “Really? I think I’ve had enough for one weekend.”

He pats the space beside him. “You have a few minutes?”

“Sure,” I say as nonchalantly as possible. I want to yell that I’ve been waiting inside for hours on the chance that he’ll let me in on what happened earlier. The space on the landing is small and I have no choice but to sit near him. It’s all I can do not to lean in and allow our bodies to touch, but I’m too unsure of where he’s coming from in his current mood.

Leo switches his beer to his other hand and takes my hand in his. “Sorry about today.”

His warm hand reassures me that we have a real bond. We’re linked.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” I act as though it’s not a big deal that I realized today how much I’ve relied on his company and voice and him. My throat tightens.

“I let her barge in and that was wrong. She has no place in my life whatsoever. It doesn’t matter what she had to say, I shouldn’t have let her—”“

“She said it was a matter of life or death!” Of course, I’ve been wondering all day long if this was an exaggeration on her part, but it seemed petty to doubt.

He cocks an eyebrow. “Everything about Tori is urgent in her mind. No, it wasn’t life or death. You and I need to talk. I have things to tell you.”

“That’s what we’re doing.” I glance away from the intensity in his eyes.

“You should’ve stayed earlier. She was the intruder. You belonged.”

“I didn’t want to get in the way,” I say, my throat cinching like tiny strings being pulled. An inexplicable surge of gratitude overcomes me that for once, I’m not the outsider. I turn my face away toward the building opposite our parking lot and pretend to study it.

He touches my shoulder. “Have I told you all the things about you that I like so very much?”

I shake my head and turn back to meet his eyes. This is my mistake. He’s so open with everything. The strings wrapped around my throat pull tighter and I have to look away quickly so he won’t see my eyes water. So he won’t sense how much he means to me. Does he even know what his words do to me? His affection has trickled in like water touching the edge of paper, saturating my life. It feels as though I’ve known him only a few days and an eternity at the same time.

“Hey, no tears,” he says, leaning his forehead against mine. He threads fingers through hair that he pushes back from my cheeks.

I enjoy the feel of his hands framing my face as he forces me to continue eye contact.

“It’s all right.” Leo smiles. “It’s OK to feel things, you know.”

“I know.” I give a self-derisive laugh. The sound is hollow and unnatural—like a ball bouncing against the walls of an empty room.

Maybe the room is my heart, waiting to be filled with something and Leo is the ball bouncing into me, bringing me joy I haven’t known in a long, long time.

He pulls back and caresses the base of my neck with one hand. “We were interrupted earlier.” He licks his lips.

My heart is pounding like a kettledrum. I study my freckled knees so I can stay calm. I’m not good with conversations like this.

Leo’s fingers grasp my chin and turn my head to look at him. “You feel the same way about me, don’t you?”

The kettle drumbeat quickens in my chest. I nod since my mouth is so dry I couldn’t speak if I wanted to.

“Tori and I are over. I promise you that. But it took a while to get past everything. And I guess that’s okay because what we had mattered. People shouldn’t get over something quickly if it does, right? You know what though? I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt today that Tori and I are over. Sometimes you say the words to convince yourself. That if you say them enough you’ll feel them. Months ago, that would’ve been the case. But today…I said them because they are the truth.”

“I need to tell you about Wesley.”

“Your husband mattered to you. I get that it takes time. But you need to know that I’m a very patient guy when it comes to the things I want.”

“You don’t understand. There are things I have to tell you.” My voice is small and unsure. Where do I begin? What do I say? How much do I tell before he wonders if I’m a freak? What kind of idiot doesn’t realize her own husband had another wife? An entire family hidden away in a different city.