“For?”

“Becoming stronger. You know, we were scared nothing was going to get you to smile, and look at you now. “

I let his words sink in. His compliments make me smile. I know I’m doing better and I still have a lot to get through. “Well, if only I could open myself fully to Tyler,” I laugh uncomfortably. My parents love Tyler and they’re trying to understand why I can’t be with him.

“In time you will.” He nudges my shoulder with his, “don’t force it.”

“I think I’m going to head to the gym. Thanks for lunch, Daddy.” I kiss his cheek and run upstairs to get my gym bag. Maybe a workout is needed.

Pulling up to the private gym my parents and I belong to, I show my card to the front desk and walk inside towards the locker room. Sometimes I wonder if this gym should be called a Club Med or private resort. It has everything from weight machines, a physical therapist, a massage therapist, juice bar, Olympic size pool, saunas and a few cabanas.

“Good afternoon,” a guy with workout pants and an employee shirt says as he walks by.

“Hi,” I respond with a friendly smile. It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Things seem the same, with a few exceptions and certain areas being redesigned.

“Gorgeous!” I turn around and see Mandy running toward me. I didn’t think she’d be back today.

“Hi!” I smile and give her a hug. “You look amazing. How was it?”

“Amazing as usual.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were home?”

“I wanted to surprise you. Your dad said you’d be here, so I came right over. Swimming?” I nod and we head inside the locker rooms to change and get ready. Mandy tells me all about her trip and the guys she met. “You should have come!”

“Next time.” I love Mandy and listening to her stories. Partying with her is fun, but dangerous. She lives life on the edge and has no regrets.

Mandy studies me for a moment, trying to find a hint of me lying, which I am. I don’t think a vacation to Cabo is something I can do now. With her back and things starting to be better, I’m sure she’ll encourage me to go. And I’ll let her, because what Mandy wants, Mandy gets.

“Well, next time is better than no,” she says, looking at my two piece with a smirk. “Looks like someone’s been working out and tanning. You look incredible, Bay.”

“Thanks.” With so much time on my hands, I’ve been looking up workout routines, kickboxing and running more.

We head out the door and Mandy waves at everyone we pass. Most of them smile and some give her a hug. The members here are nice and it feels like a small little community. For the most part we all know each other either from high school or parents of our friends. There are some new faces and everyone seems nice.

Getting outside and putting down our things, we stretch in the corner and jump in the water to swim a few laps. It feels amazing being in the water. I love the feel of the sun on my skin and the water gliding over my body. When I’m swimming, I shut out the world and focus on the tranquility surrounding me.

After swimming for a while, Mandy and I order smoothies and relax in one of the cabanas. I think about asking her about the job and hold back. She just got back from vacation and we’re relaxing. I don’t want her to think anything.

“You’re thinking too much,” she says, looking at me through her sunglasses. “Whatever it is, you know you can talk to me about it.”

“Do you think,” I pause and sigh, “you can get me a job at your firm?”

She smiles a big smile, “Already done. You start on Monday.”

“What? How?”

“Please. Damon loves me and does anything I want. It’s a good starting point. You’ll be his personal assistant. It’s very easy and you’ll get it like that,” she snaps her fingers. “Plus, your office-”

“My office?”

Mandy nods, “Yep, you have an office with a fab view I might add. Well, you’ll be next to me and things will be great.”

“Damon?” I think, “Isn’t he like the VP?”

“Kind of. He’s pretty important at the firm and he needs help. You’re organized and smart. You two will get along.”

I sit back and smile. This is what I need. I need to get out there, meet people and do everything I can to not have a panic attack in a new place. I can do this.

Later on, when I get home and eat dinner, I rest in my room, lying on my bed and looking at my phone.

Being at the gym today is what I needed to clear my head and relax. I was there for almost three hours. After swimming and relaxing outside, we worked on our legs and did a few workouts.

Stretching out on my bed, I get comfortable and pull up the current book I’m reading on my Kindle. Getting lost in the words, I don’t realize my phone’s ringing.

Looking at who’s calling me, I smile and quickly answer. “Why, hello.”

“Hey, you sound happy,” he says and I can hear paper rustling in the background.

“Had a good workout today and Mandy got me a job at the firm. I’ll be Damon Ridge’s PA. Sounds easy, right?”

“I think so. You’re smart, Bay, you’ll figure it out quickly. How’s everything going?”

“Pretty well. Keeping busy.” I squeeze my eyes shut. I don’t want him to know I’m missing him like crazy.

“Glad you are,” he teases me, “I hope this project doesn’t last longer than three weeks. I want to come home and be with you.”

“I want that too,” I whisper.

I listen to him talk about California and the places he wants to take me to. His hotel is right on the beach and I’m so jealous. His voice sounds so happy and I love him for being calm and lighthearted. I can’t handle a heavy conversation. Sometimes I think Tyler knows me better than I know myself. He knows what to say and what to do to make me forget.

“I wish I could be in Cali with you. Maybe if I wasn’t starting this job, it could happen.” His breathing is loud and I can hear it through the phone. “I’m going to see if it’ll be possible to visit you for a weekend?” I have to form this as a question. The back and forth isn’t healthy for either of us. I don’t want to confuse him or confuse myself.

“Only if that’s what you want. Don’t think about what I want or what anyone else wants. Remember that what you want is what matters.”

“I know.” I pause letting it all sink in. “I should get going and head to bed. Remember, you’re three hours ahead of me,” he laughs and I hear the smile on his face.

“Sweet dreams, Bay.”

I let out a breath, “Sweet dreams, Ty.”

Setting my phone down, I walk to my bathroom and brush my teeth. I think about the visit and maybe it’s something I can do.

Finishing my nightly routine, I climb back into bed and see another message from Tyler. This time it’s a video. I smile and open it. How Did I Fall In Love With You by Backstreet Boys is playing in the background. He’s singing softly to me. Touching his face on my screen, I kiss him and hope he feels the kiss.

Me: Thank you for my song

Ty: Forever

The next morning, I grab my bag and climb out of my car to go to the gym. The air is humid and the sun’s out. With fall around the corner, I’m pretty excited. As much as I love summer, I love fall just a little more. I love seeing the leaves change and breathing in the crisp air. Fall also means the return of my beloved Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Pulling my hair up in a ponytail, I walk in and hand the receptionist my card. Heading to the locker room, I look down to get out my lock when a wall collides into me, causing me to fall on my ass.

“Ow,” I yelp, “seriously, can you watch where you’re going?” I get up and see a very tall and handsome man with deep brown eyes looking at me.

“Sorry. I didn’t see you,” he states, holding out his hand to help me up.

“I got it,” I sneer, “thanks.” I know I put my head down and all, but it’s not like you can miss me. I’m wearing bright pink shorts and a white top.