His hand rests on my knee, “I missed you too, Bayleigh. Just because I never called or anything doesn’t mean I didn’t ask about you. My mom kept me updated.”

“Then why didn’t you ever call me?”

He sighs and stares at the road, focusing on driving and not on my questions. “I’ll tell you when it’s time. For right now, I want to enjoy my time with my best friend. We have a lot to catch up on.”

The rest of the car ride is quiet as he drives the few minutes it takes to get to the restaurant. We walk in and are immediately seated in a booth. Putting in our drink orders and a few appetizers, we look through the menu and mark down what we want on a slip of paper.

“So, tell me where you’ve been.”

“Pretty much everywhere. I went backpacking through Europe and celebrated New Years in Hong Kong. Then stayed with friends in Colorado. Went to Vegas and now I’m here.”

My eyes widen, “Wow, that’s cool. You seem different.”

“If you’re trying to tell me I’m hotter,” he leans in and winks, “I already know.”

Rolling my eyes, I shake my head and listen to him talk about his adventures. I’ve known Ryan my whole life and there’s something he’s keeping from me. I take a sip of the hot green tea and lean back in the booth. Part of me hates him for abandoning me. While the other part is throwing up her arms and celebrating because he’s back. Things with Ryan have always been easy and comfortable. He challenges me and never lets me fall, except after I came to, he was nowhere to be found. He left a letter saying he needed to get out town and away for a while. That was the last time I heard from him.

“Why did you leave, Ryan? I mean, did you even come see me when I was unconscious in the hospital?” He looks down and drinks his tea. “Really? You can’t answer.”

“Listen,” he says, gripping the tea cup. “I’m back and I’m sorry for leaving without saying anything. The memory from that night kills me. Hearing someone hurt you and left you for dead fucked with my head, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I didn’t want the image of you hurt and in a hospital bed to stay with me.” He reaches over and touches my face. “This is the face I always want to remember.”

“You left me.”

“I know and I’m sorry. I couldn’t deal with the guilt.”

“It’s not your fault . . .”

“It is and will always be my fault,” he cuts me off. “I was supposed to be with you and I was supposed to make sure nothing happened. But my dick was more important. You were so close to the apartment. I didn’t know something would happen,” he stops talking and looks down. I see his hands trembling, so I grab them and rub my thumb on his hands. “When I got the call from Tyler, I had to leave. Hearing his voice yelling at me, telling me I was worthless and what happened to you. I had to go. Everyone’s better off without me.”

“Not me,” I tell him. “I needed you and still do. Things happened when you were gone.”

“Yeah I know,” he whispers, “I’m sorry you and Tyler aren’t together. Are you okay?”

“No,” I honestly tell him, “I don’t want to let him go, but I had to. When I’m ready to be with him, we’ll be together again, I hope.”

“You will be. I have no doubt.”

After we’re done eating, Ryan and I get into his car and he drives back home. The car ride is quiet and I’m not sure what to say. There is so much going on in my head. How can I forgive Ryan for leaving?

When he pulls into his driveway, I hurry out and rush to my house. Before I reach the porch stairs, Ryan grabs me and pulls me to his body. He holds me tight, gripping my hair with one hand and holding me with his other.

“Don’t be mad. Please don’t hate me,” he whispers, “please. There’s a reason why I left. There’s so much I need to tell you. For now, I need you to understand I miss you and now I’m back. That’s all I can tell you right now.”

Panic sets in. Chills run down my body. I’m not sure why I need to hold him tighter. This isn’t the Ryan I know. He’s tougher and bit of a badass. Why is he getting emotional?

“Don’t be mad, please?”

“Okay,” I answer, resting my head against his chest, “I’m not mad.”

“Good, because I’m back now and whatever you need, I’m here. I know you’re going through a lot and things are confusing. Just trust me right now.” I look at him, and stare into his eyes. I’m looking for truth and something that will tell me he’s not going to up and leave again. “I want us to spend time together. To get to know each other again. We aren’t the same people we used to be.”

He has no idea what he’s saying and how it’s affecting me. The words sink in and spark something inside. Between getting a job and getting back my best friend, the weight and stress on my chest slowly disappears. Everything happens for a reason and even though my life was thrown offbeat, things are starting to be put back in place.He touches my face with his smooth hand and smiles. “Friends?”

“Friends,” I answer back. Deep down I’m happy he didn’t turn away. If I can be completely honest, I think I’m making a good decision.

Later that night, after dinner with my parents, I head back upstairs to my room and write in my journal.

Do you ever wonder why people come into your life? So Ryan’s back and I don’t know what to feel or think. There’s something different about him. He’s holding something from me and I think it’s something big. He’s been gone for so long and there’s really no reason why he should be here.

Or is there?

I’m not sure if I should tell Tyler. When Ryan left, Tyler told him to never come back. I don’t know what happened between them. I guess I never asked. Maybe now I should and figure out what happened between the two.

The three of us were best friends and now we’re separated.

Before, we used to always be together. When they first moved in, I met Tyler first. He was so cute and it was love at first sight. Then I met Ryan and I fell in love too. But the love I have for the Scott boys are different. I met Tyler first so that tells me something.

I look down at my phone and pick it up. I should tell Tyler his brother is back and when he comes home, to not act like an asshole.

Me: Ryan’s back

Bay: Ryan’s back

Fuck!

I clench my fists and pound the shit out of my pillows. Why the fuck is my brother back? Dialing her number, I get up from my bed and pace the room. He’s back for a reason and it’s not a good one.

“Pick up, Bay. Pick up.”

“Hello?” She sleepily answers.

“Hey! I’m sorry I was out last night and got a little drunk so that’s why I didn’t respond to your text. Did you talk to Ryan?”

“First, you’re up at four in the morning when it’s seven here? I’m not supposed to be up for another fifteen minutes,” I smile, hearing the smile in her voice. She hates my morning wake up calls. “But everything is fine and yes we talked.”

“What did you talk about?”

“I don’t know,” she pauses and I hear her moving, “just things.”

“Tell me.”

“Fine,” she sighs, “Ryan showed up in my room and we went out for sushi. He didn’t tell me much. Honestly, I think the reason he’s here isn’t a good one. He seems hurt and in a lot of pain. I don’t know, Tyler.”

I’m on high alert. I love my brother and will do anything for him. Part of me blames him for that night and I hate the way he is when he’s with her. He was supposed to be with her and not let her out of his sight. I close my eyes and it comes back to me.

I kiss her forehead and smile, “So have fun tonight and don’t leave Ryan’s side.”

“I know,” she smiles and gets on her tippy toes to kiss my lips. “Have fun tonight with Dr. Powers. This dinner is going to take you places. I’m so proud of you, Ty.”