“No. I need to leave, but I need you with me. Take me back to the lake house,” he asks her. My insides tear apart. She’s going to say yes. Their bond is strong and she won’t let him die alone. “Please stay with me and don’t leave.”

“Okay. I’ll stay with you. I’ll get the doctors.” I move away and watch her walk away. Going inside the room, my eyes find Ryan’s. Neither of us talk and I’m not sure where to begin.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you,” I tell him and I mean it. We’ve been spending time together and we’re keeping him busy. Maybe he’s doing too much and needs to relax a little.

“Thanks,” he coughs, and wipes his lips. “Terminal brain tumor,” he laughs, shaking his head. “I never thought about the signs or symptoms, you know? Thought it was in my head, just not literally. Now I have to sit back and wait.”

“You’re doing too much. Slow down a little,” I suggest. “I heard you and Bay talking. This isn’t fair. You can’t ask her to do this. You know she’ll drop everything for you. Is that what you want?”

“To spend my last days with her? Yes. Once I’m gone, that’s it. I won’t know what it’s like to be with her. I love her and I’m going to love her beyond my final breath. She’s been in my heart since I was five years old. It’s always been her. I want to marry her.”

“Marry her?” I laugh, “You’ve lost your mind, Ryan. You can’t marry her. Not legally.”

“Doesn’t have to be. All I need is her with me and need her to be mine for my final days.”

“But I love her too. I have her back and now you expect me to let her be with you?”

“Once I’m gone, she’ll be yours. All yours.”

“She’s not a fucking toy, Ryan!” I scream and have to step back. “She’s a person with a beautiful mind and heart and you’re using that against her.”

“I love her and that’s all you need to understand.”

Having heard enough of this bullshit, I walk out and I don’t wait for Bayleigh. I tell Mandy to take me back to her house and I text Bayleigh to meet me when she’s done. The car ride is quiet as I gather my thoughts. What’s the right thing to do? Let her go again and know she’ll come back. Knowing she’s going to be with my brother? Can I handle that?

“It’ll be okay,” Mandy says, rubbing my knee. “You have to believe.”

“Sometimes believing and love isn’t enough. Thanks for the ride.” I get out of the car and walk to the swing, waiting for her to come back.

My phone is quiet and I’m not sure where she is or what she’s doing. I see Mandy’s car again and Bayleigh walks out. Her head is hanging low and her body is tense and tired. She joins me on the swing and I watch her eyes look over at the rose bushes her parents are growing. I think about holding her hand, but I hold back, especially when I see the ring on her finger. Even though it’s not legal and doesn’t mean anything, it means something me. I know I’m being an asshole for having a cold heart. When it comes to her, she’s all that matters.

“Do you know that each rose has a meaning?”

“Yeah. I think every girl who is romantic and believes fairy tales knows that.”

I smile, “Do you remember on every Valentine’s Day, before we started dating, I’d give you thirteen red-tipped yellow roses? You’d look at me like I was crazy. Did you know what those roses meant?” I watch her think. She’s trying to come up with something.

“No. I just thought you were being sweet.”

“Well, I was. But those roses meant friendship and falling for you. I got you thirteen flowers every year because it represents a secret admirer.”

Her eyes swell with tears and quickly I wrap her in my arms, pulling her onto my lap, stroking her back and rocking back and forth. This isn’t what I want. I hate when she cries and there’s not much I can do.

“I know you’re confused,” I tell her, “and I know you love me and Ryan.” Admitting it aloud kills me. Even though Ryan’s dying, I hate how much time she spends with him. “Forever, Bay. That’s how long I’m going to love you. But what I can’t understand is your need to take care of him.”

“It’s something I have to do. He has no one and I’m his only friend. Why can’t you see that and understand?”

“Because I don’t!” I scream, “I know I’m being an asshole, but thinking about the two of you in the lake house together is fucking with my head. Make me understand so I can be okay with this. Make me understand why you’re wearing a ring he bought you. Just a few weeks ago, you said you weren’t ready for anything and then Ryan comes into the picture and you’re this different person.”

“You have to trust me,” she says with her round eyes looking at me, “trust me.”

“You love both of us. It’s hard to trust either of you. Do you know I’ve loved you my whole life? I thought you were going to be my last love.”

She cries and holds my hand, “I still am. Forever, Tyler.”

I shake my head, “No. There’s too much that’s happened and I don’t think I can forget what you and Ryan shared. Even though it wasn’t physical, it was emotional. I saw the two of you kiss. Tell me you didn’t want that kiss.”

She doesn’t answer. Instead, she looks away from me and bows her head down. My heart shatters in my chest. I’ve lost her. No matter what I say or do, she’s going to choose Ryan.

“Do you know how much last night meant to me? To finally mean something to you.” She doesn’t respond. I hear her sniffling and nodding her head.

“I love you, Tyler. I don’t know what else to say.”

“No, I think you do. The love you have for me is an obligation.”

“That’s not fair, Tyler! I was confused and scared. You can’t use my words against me.” She screams and gets in my face. “Stop being an asshole and open your fucking eyes. I am doing this so your brother doesn’t have to go through this alone. Can’t you see I love you and yes I love him, but that’s on a different level? I am giving him what he wants so he can die in peace and if you can’t accept that, then you’re not the man I thought you were.”

“I guess I’m not. I guess I can’t watch the fucking woman I love marry or wait, pretend to marry, someone else so he can be happy. I guess you can’t stay with him as a friend or ask me or Mandy to come with you! I fought every day for you for over a year and then you go and do this!”

“What do you want me to do? Not give him his last wish?”

I sigh and rub my face, “I don’t fucking know.” Fuck!

“Just wait, please Tyler.”

“No. Do you think I’m stupid?” I seethe, “I won’t be your fallback guy.”

“You aren’t Tyler,” she sobs in my arms. I feel her holding onto me, repeating how much she loves me and I can’t bring myself to hold her back. “It’s always been you.”

“It makes sense. Since he’s dying, of course you’ll try to come crawling back but you can’t.”

She unwraps herself from me and backs away. Her eyes don’t leave mine and I can’t stop staring at her. Everything I love about her is gone. All I can see is that fucking ring and him.

“I have to go,” she mumbles. “Your mom needs my help. I have to go.”

I nod and watch her walk away. The voices in my head tell me to stop being a sucker and move on.

Rushing to my car and getting in, I drive back to the hospital and walk into his room. The sounds of machines beep and his nurse is changing bags around.

“Almost done,” she tells me with a smile. I stand in the corner and my eyes don’t leave his.

When she leaves, I stay where I’m standing and play out the words I want to say. “Can we talk?” He nods his head.

“I need to say something first.”

“Okay,” I answer, “go.”

“She’s amazing, you know.” I nod. “I know she loves you.” I nod again. I’m not sure where the hell this conversation is going. “Regardless of what you think, we never had sex. Yes, I’ve kissed her and she’s kissed me back.”

“Is there a point to this, Ryan? Because right now, all I want to do is smash my fist into your face.” I feel like an asshole for telling him this. No, I don’t want to hit him and I don’t want to see him die. But right now, I can’t think clearly.