“Lithium?”

“It’s an anti-psychotic drug.”

Phil burst out laughing. “And here I thought it was just a Nirvana song.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, well…”

Draping his arm around my shoulders, he led me back to the bus. Mack had it up and running already, just waiting for us to show ourselves so that we could make the four-hour journey to Miami.

Connor was excited about playing in the city where he’d lived for nearly four years. He had given his friends tickets and backstage passes, and he was looking forward to introducing them to his brothers and maybe his sister, too.

“So, when you said that you weren’t sleepin’ with me…” Phil said quietly.

“I meant, I’m not having sex with you, and I’m not sleeping in the same bed as you because we’ll end up having sex.”

“What? You think I can’t control myself?”

“I know you can’t. And…” Heaving a sigh, I admitted, “Neither can I.”

“But I can touch you again? And hold you? And kiss you whenever I want?”

“Within reason, I suppose.”

“Pfft. Within reason, my ass.”

Phil

Asleep, Kenna was spread out over me. With my arms wrapped tightly around her, I was in a state of bliss. We had lain on one of the couches hours ago, just talking and getting it all out in the open.

She had told me all about the shit she’d been dealing with these past couple of days, and I fuckin’ burned with anger and regret. My Baby Girl didn’t deserve the crap being shoveled on her. Kenna never put anyone down, never made anyone feel less than what they were. For her to have to go through that kind of mindfuck with my ex was fuckin’ all sorts of wrong.

Connor had confronted me before the show, and he’d been just as pissed as I was when he told me about what Brigid had been doing.

“You fuckin’ started this shit! Now, Kenna can’t fuckin’ go anywhere without that cunt showing up and making her life hell! You fuckin’ fix this shit, or I will,” he’d said to me.

Not too sure what he’d meant by him fixing it, but I was pretty sure I didn’t want to find out. Hippie kids were weirdos. They understood shit normal people just didn’t. He’d probably unleash some sort of ancient evil yoga voodoo on Brigid. So, I had taken matters into my own hands and asked the guys if we could pull a cover song because my woman spoke in terms of music.

She’d totally gotten me. She’d finally fuckin’ come clean, and more than that, I had earned her trust back. She’d forgiven me.

Again. When will I quit fuckin’ up?

Probably never.

On top of all this, I was supposed to be findin’ a way to sit down with fuckin’ GianFranco. It really wasn’t something I felt like I could do. For so long, that motherfucker had fucked with my head, and for Kenna to put her promise to me on hold until I did…I wished I could feel like she’d betrayed me, but I knew that wasn’t the case.

Looking into Kenna’s eyes tonight, when she had told me she was wrong, that she was sorry, it was like she had shone with this light that was all for me. It was love and truth and joy, and it’d found me worthy of it. My heart had tripped into my head, and she’d filled my eyes and soul. I’d thought I had loved her before, but now…

I had meant it when I told her that it was far, far beyond having sex with her. What I felt was far beyond anything that could be shared between us physically.

Not so much now though. She was soft and smelling fuckin’ clean and sweet and feeling so fuckin’ right.

My dick was pressing painfully into her belly, and it was all I could do not to dry-hump the fuck outta her.

Lili had come up and draped a blanket over us, smiling, being the sweet Pygmy I knew and loved. She’d been a fuckin’ nasty little runt to deal with, kicking me in the shins and shit. I had to remember the woman aimed low and had pointy fuckin’ feet.

Shifting to ease up the pressure on my dick didn’t help. Kenna snuggled in closer, and I could feel her perfect little tits rubbing against my chest. I hadn’t fuckin’ blown a load since the night in Georgia. My nads were threatening violence if I didn’t do something right now. My head didn’t want to until I could be inside her…

Tossing off the blanket, I held Kenna to my chest and carried her to her bunk. I really wished I wasn’t wearing sweats. Alys came down from The Attic. Seeing me trying to open up the foxhole, she came to help…and totally got an eyeful.

“Damn, Phil!” she whispered, her puffy lips twitching.

“Shut it, woman,” I growled.

Kenna stirred, but she didn’t really wake up. Her eyes barely able to open, she let me tuck her into the bunk. Then, I tucked up my junk and pulled myself into my own foxhole. I couldn’t stretch out straight, but at least I couldn’t roll over and roll out. Lying on my gut, I turned my head toward her, trying to see her face in the low light.

I’d never really been sex-crazed before Kenna. Yeah, I’d turned into a slut over the years, but it was more because I’d had nothing better to do. The weird shit I’d gotten into with GianFranco was more of a phase, just something that had suited me at the time. When I’d left that part of my life behind, I never really needed to go back to it. I’d never touched Brigid that way. It had been straight-up sex. She’d liked it rough, and I had done my job by her as best as I could.

Shit, just thinking of sex with Brigid made my dick shrivel up. My groin relaxed.

Kenna had woken up a fuckin’ beast in me, and that fucker would do whatever the hell she wanted, whenever she wanted it. She might think I controlled what happened between us, but the truth was…it was all about her. Something inside her would tell something inside me what she needed, and that was what would happen.

The times she’d tied me up and whipped me…I fuckin’ loved that shit. After the last time, I’d had bruises on my ass that lasted for days, and sitting had been no easy task, but fuck me, there was something awesome about the pain she’d delivered. When I could feel it long after we were done, it was like having a little piece of her on me.

Maybe I was totally fucked in the head, but I really couldn’t give a shit. Sheri and Jason were into some bizarre fuckin’ shit, so I didn’t feel too much like a weirdo.

My woman sighed in her sleep, and I looked over at her again, my dick swelling up once more.

She was fuckin’ blackmailing my ass, denying me her sweet slice until I spoke to GianFranco. She knew I’d break down eventually. The only thing that kept me going was that I knew she wasn’t having an easy time of it either. But she’d outlast me. I knew that.

And I knew that she’d never ask me to talk to Devon unless she felt it was really, really important.

Okay, I’m fuckin’ miserable.

Miami shows really were some of the best. Even if it was too fuckin’ hot and nasty to want to live, the crowd and the vibe were one in a million.

By the time we’d finished our set, we were soaked and sore. After the first fuckin’ song, I had stripped off my shirt, boots, and socks, and I’d come close to marching my ass around in my skivvies, but I hadn’t been too sure that would be a smart idea.

Brigid was lurking around backstage.

My Baby Girl had vanished at that point, and that fuckin’ pissed me off. My ex was running her out of her rightful place, and I was gonna give that bitch a piece of my fuckin’ mind.

Kenna belonged here with me.

Enough was enough.

Sheri had sat my ass down earlier in the day and explained that Brigid felt I owed her two fuckin’ inches of debt. Those weren’t my inches to give, not that it would’ve mattered if they were. Brigid didn’t get that. Sheri had also informed me of how Brigid used to talk shit about me behind my back while she and I were together. That hadn’t bothered me, but I could see that it bothered the fuck out of Sher-Bear.