“Just spit it out, man.”

So, he did. All of it was just laid out there. I was fuckin’ stunned. Anger and hatred and sadness all melted into one another. Then, pity and relief followed. Happiness came because I finally knew that Devon wasn’t a monster of epic proportion.

“I didn’t even know about you and Camryn, Phil. I had no idea that she and Jürgen planned the whole thing about me beating and raping her in Finland. I confronted him about it the day I spoke with Kenna. He told me he had to make you pay for hurting me, as if he actually gave a shit about my feelings. But I know he did it because he was afraid you might actually listen to me, and we’d end up being friends again.”

“What would’ve been so wrong about that?”

“He likes to have control over all of us. The other guys…he keeps them slicked with drugs, booze, and sex. It keeps them compliant. The thing was, I got clean. I quit doing coke, and for the most part, I quit drinking because it makes me want coke. He can’t control me like he used to. And when you and I were friends, he was worried you’d make me see how much better life could be without him.”

“Did I?”

Devon smiled, and again, I couldn’t understand why Brigid had been more obsessed with the last two inches of my cock over his pretty smile. If I were Kenna’s hairy fairy, Jimi, I’d be all over that shit.

“Maybe. But there are others out there who would do better by the Cannibals, who would be happy to take my place.”

“People recognize the Cannibals because of you, Devon. That’s the way it’s always been. Jürgen might be the front man, but you’re the fuckin’ legend. It’s a wonder he doesn’t hate you, too.”

“I’m sure he does. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, blah, blah, blah.”

“This is so fucked up.” I groaned and rubbed my hands over my face.

“I’m truly sorry, Phil. I wanted to tell you long before now. I thought if I gave you time to cool off, then you would let me explain, but you wouldn’t hear me.”

“That whole fuckin’ situation in Berlin was a wake-up call for me. I walked away from all of it, Devon. I never wanted to look back.”

Devon nodded. “Well, I’m happy you gave me the time anyway.”

“It’s not like I had a choice. Kenna wouldn’t let me touch her until I did.”

He looked at me in surprise. “Seriously?”

“Is this the face of a recently laid guy? Fuck yeah, I’m fuckin’ serious! Gave me back her engagement ring, too. Said she was puttin’ it on hold until I heard what you had to say. Fuck, I was pissed at her for puttin’ you between us.”

“I don’t think she saw it like that,” Devon said quietly. “I think she was putting you first. She knew you needed to hear the truth. I can see why she stole your heart all those years ago.”

Shoving a finger in his face, I snapped, “You best fuckin’ keep your relations with her platonic. I see how you look at her sometimes, man. I won’t kill you for the shit that went down before, but if you keep thinkin’ impure thoughts about my woman, I will not hesitate to unleash a fuckin’ smackdown, you feel me?”

Son of a bitch fuckin’ smirked at me. “I feel you, brother. Besides, her heart has clearly been given to you, and I’ve had enough of that shit with Brigid.”

“What’s the deal with you two anyway? I mean, why are you puttin’ up with her shit? And how the fuck did you two actually hook up?”

“I met her in rehab.”

“Come again?”

“Rehab. Well, a meeting actually. The night you left, I quit drugs, cold turkey. It wasn’t easy, and there are times I got close to breaking down and getting myself a fix. I’ve learned liquor’s a bit of a trigger for me, so I just stay away from it now. Anyway, I was staying in Amsterdam, and I was drinking. I was jonesing, so I went to an NA meeting. I met her there.”

“What was she in there for?”

“Smack. I guess she got into it pretty bad, and she nearly died. She was cute and sweet, and we hit it off. This was, what? Three years ago? Since then, we’ve kept in touch, and we hook up occasionally. Honest, I had no idea you used to go with her. She never mentioned it, not even when I told her about us being friends in the past.”

“Huh.”

“So, yeah. But now…”

“Now?”

“She’s with Jürgen and Camryn. I threatened to send her ass back home after that shit in Miami, and she ran straight into their open arms. I’m…I’m fucking terrified for her.”

“I gotta tell you, man. I don’t remember her bein’ such a fuckin’ head case.”

“She told me once that she had fallen for a guy who had fucked her over royally and that she wasn’t willing to put herself out there like that again. I respected that. Now, I have a feeling who that guy was.”

Heat crept up my neck and into my face. “She never acted like she loved me. I really thought it was only about the sex and money. I was cool with that because I was in love with someone else. I knew she was pissed when I left her, but I didn’t get the feelin’ I’d broken her heart or nothin’.”

“She’s too proud to show that much emotion.”

“She used to make fun of my ass behind my back. Bitched that I wouldn’t stick it in all the way and shit.”

“Well, you have to admit, it’s a bit weird, man. I’m sure a lot of chicks wondered why.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, well, the ones who bothered to ask got told it was too big.”

“What do you tell Kenna?”

“Nothin’. She gets it all.”

Devon looked impressed. “Well then, do you hurt her with it?”

“No.”

“You do know that vaginas push out tiny humans, right? Your dick isn’t that big.”

“I know that, asshole!”

He laughed. “Don’t feel bad. It’s still pretty fucking huge.”

I grinned. “Yeah, I know that, too.”

“So…what happens now?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. But…I feel a lot better now. About you, about everythin’. I feel like a fuckin’ idiot, believin’ Camryn was my friend. I told her a lot about myself. A lot of shit that Jürgen never needed to know.”

“I’m sorry about that, too. If I had known, I would’ve tried to warn you. She’s as horrific as Jürgen. They make a hell of a team.”

Shakin’ my head, I didn’t know what to say about that. I had put my trust and faith in some people who should never have had it.

I needed to find my Baby Girl. There was a four-carat engagement ring sitting in my pocket when it should be on her finger.

“I’m leaving the Cannibals after the tour. Jürgen probably suspects, especially now that I’ve spoken with you. But it’s not common knowledge yet.”

“It’s about fuckin’ time you did.”

“Yeah. Watch your back, brother. There’s every chance this shit is going to get ugly.”

“You, too, man,” I replied, getting up.

He stood up, too.

“Brother,” I amended, hugging the son of a bitch, “I got your back.”

Kenna

Tiny exploded onto the bus, huffing, wheezing, and sweating. “Doc! Doc!”

Crouched down, digging out some ingredients from the freezer, I replied, “What?”

“Gordy’s been hurt. He dropped a speaker on his foot, and it might be broken.”

Rushing to the back of the bus, I grabbed my emergency medic bag and followed Tiny to the backstage area. People were crawling all over the place, trying to get a look at the scene.

“For fuck’s sake!” I shouted. “All this for a squashed foot? Move it!”

People parted to allow Tiny and me through the gathered crowd. Gordy, one of my favorite roadies, was laid out on his back. His pale face was covered in a cold sweat, his sandy hair plastered on his forehead. His pupils dilated with pain as he attempted to smile when he spotted me.

“Hey, Dr. Kenna,” he said, his voice tight.

Every time someone called me Dr. Kenna, Lucy’s words would resound through my head.

“Dr. Kenna? I’m stuck.”