I found her in the backyard, sitting in lotus pose, serene and quiet. I was itching something fierce just to talk to her. I knew she’d understand if she could hear my words, my voice.

My voice was her most favorite thing in the world. She’d listened to it every day for the last eight years, letting it soothe her when she needed it, getting her amped up, making her feel sexy. How it did all that, I wasn’t too sure. I knew chicks dug the deep voice, but it was more than that for her.

Kenna stretched her hand out, palm up, and I took it. How she knew I was there when she couldn’t hear me…I guessed it wasn’t so weird. When she was scared or hurting or happy or whatever, I could feel it.

I always felt her.

A tickle above my heart that sent shit to my head made me hear tunes and notes that inspired music. She was happy when I heard violins or an acoustic guitar strum. Sadness sounded like piano. Maybe that was why I didn’t like playing one so much. Anger was furious drumming and screaming electrics. Depressed or fuckin’ orgasmic, it all just played in my head and let me know where she was in hers.

“I love you,” I whispered. It filled my chest and eyes and mind.

Moonlight illuminated her profile, showing me her calm, cool surface. Eyes closed, her features were still.

“I love you, too,” she whispered back.

And I knew she hadn’t heard a fuckin’ word.

Phil

“Sheri and the girls are gonna take Kenna out for a ladies’ night,” Jason informed me. “They think she needs to be rereleased into the wild or some shit.”

“What?” I asked, looking up from the writing book Kenna had given me for Christmas.

“They’re takin’ her out for sushi and then to a show. Sheri said that she might not be able to hear the music, but when it’s loud enough, she could feel it. Plus, she has a thing for dudes on stage. Thinks they’re sexy fuckers. Or maybe they’re takin’ her to a strip club? Either way, sexy dudes on stage and loud thumpin’ music.”

Glaring up at his smirking face, I had the urge to put another kink in his nose.

“Oh, good, you haven’t lost it for her then.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Jason shrugged and dropped his ass on the edge of my desk.

Douche.

“Only that Alys told Sheri who told me that you hardly bother with Kenna anymore. You leave her before she wakes up in the mornin’, and you don’t show up until maybe dinner. Then, after that, you go work out and don’t show up until she’s asleep, sneakin’ into her room like a thief in the—”

“Seriously?”

“Uh, yeah, man. You have been exhibitin’ the signs of a grumpy-ass motherfucker, the kind that only comes from the unlaid.”

“What the fuck, man?” I exploded, chucking my pen at his head.

A spark of satisfaction bloomed in my chest as it bounced off in between his eyes, and he rubbed the spot with his fingers.

“Ow! Shit!”

“She was fuckin’ blown to hell, and y’all are talkin’ shit about us? You people are supposed to be our fuckin’ friends, our family, and you’re all gossipin’ about—”

“It ain’t like that! Well, not really. I think her friends are worried, is all, because she’s fuckin’ depressed, and you won’t touch her or spend any time with her anymore.”

Fire ignited beneath my heart. I was about to unleash unholy hell on my brother until he opened his mouth again.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Weirdly enough…I did.

“I nearly lost her, Jace,” I said. “I came so close to fuckin’ losin’ her forever, and…” Just thinking about it had the power to choke me, even after almost three weeks. “She’s doin’ great, you know? She’s healin’ up and gettin’ active again, and I couldn’t be fuckin’ happier. But she’s goin’ for a whole body scan tomorrow, and the doctors will be able to see if there’s anythin’ they missed before, okay? Until then…I don’t wanna touch her. And not because I don’t wanna touch her, but because, once I do, I’m scared I won’t be able to stop. She’s supposed to take it easy, and when we…there ain’t nothin’ easy about our fuckin’.”

“Oh.”

“She knows this. We’ve talked about it. But she’s a stubborn little shit. Just because she’s a doctor, she thinks she fuckin’ knows everythin’. Up until a week ago, she was tryin’ to touch me and get me off—”

“Oh, the horror,” my brother snorted.

“Fuck you, man!” I snapped.

“If it’ll make her happy to make you blow your load, I don’t see what the problem is. Sounds like a win-win to me.”

“Yeah? Well, it ain’t! How is it fair for me to get off when I won’t do it for her because I’m tryin’ to keep her safe? Half the fuckin’ fun is gettin’ her off! More than half really…”

“Damn. I never considered it like that.”

“Poor Sheri,” I muttered, earning a glare.

“That ain’t what I meant, asshole. I meant, the fact that it wouldn’t be fair to let her get you off—”

I waved my hand at him to get him to stop. “It’s not like it’s been a fuckin’ walk in the park, man. She’s lookin’ good, and it ain’t easy, keepin’ my hands off her. So, I just fuckin’ stay the hell away. It ain’t like I want to.”

“Yeah, well, her friends aren’t too happy seein’ her messed up over you. Alys and X had a fight because she said that maybe you were goin’ off and findin’ a piece on the side since you couldn’t bother stickin’ around and just bein’ there for your woman.”

I stared at Jason in horrified disgust. “The fuck Alys said somethin’ like that.”

“She did. I get the feelin’ she was springin’ it on him to shock the truth out of him. I don’t think she actually believed it, not about you goin’ off with someone else, but just wanted to make sure, you know? X flipped out and told her you’d never do that to Kenna.”

At least my boys had my back.

“I can’t even get hard unless it’s for her,” popped out of my mouth.

“Seriously?”

“Fuck off,” I grumbled.

“That’s kind of sweet. And they’re only takin’ her out for sushi. No show afterward. I just wanted to see your face when I said she wanted to see some sexy fuckers—”

The second pen went sailing over his head before he ducked.

“So, I guess we’ll order pizza tonight?” he asked before leaving my office.

Asshole.

There was no way I was getting anything else done right then. Kenna was depressed and lonely. I really had been avoiding her, especially the last few days. The other morning, I’d woken up with my hand between her legs while grinding my cock against her ass. Kenna had still been asleep, but she’d been making those sexy noises that drove me out of my head, and I’d woken up close to spunking in my drawers. Fuck, she had been so soft and soaking wet, pushing her perfect ass into my groin. As quietly as possible, I’d gotten up and snuck out of our bed, out of the room, taking my clothes with me and dressing in the hall before running back home.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. This is just so fuckin’ fucked up.

I wanted to bury myself inside her, watch her face when she felt me hit that heartbeat, see the way her eyes rolled back and her brows drew together.

Now, my dick was swollen and aching.

“Fuck!” Jumping to my feet, I headed for my bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind me.

Kenna

Digging through my closet, I found what I had been looking for. I’d forgotten about it until that moment, and I decided that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. My trusty vibrator was in a box in the back, looking a bit dusty. It was disheartening because, even though it was one of the bigger models with nodules and a clit stimulator and everything along with three different speeds and the ability to rotate in both directions if I so desired, it had nothing on Phil.