“Yeah, make it good. They know the rules?”

“They’ve been informed. Only a few head shots, mostly body, and they are aware of your ability to fight back.”

“Then take me fucking out,” I replied, opening my arms wide.

Marco and Johnny were hesitant, unsure how to comprehend the situation. They most likely thought of me as some crazy fuck who paid to get his ass kicked, and yes, that was true, but most of the time, people liked to be provoked in order to get into a fight, so I did what I did best on this day: I provoked.

“You just going to stare at me, you little bitch?” I asked Marco. He tried to fake me out with a little step forward, but I stood strong. “Fucking amateur, you really think your little juke move would work on me?”

Marco looked at Vinny, who was standing back, waiting for his turn, wondering if he should just come at me.

“Fucking Christ,” I said while I charged at Marco and pinned him against the opposite wall. Johnny was instantly on my back, defending his cousin. Just what I’d expected.

Marco squirmed underneath my grasp, and Johnny clawed at my back but left no impression on me, so I continued to hold on to Marco, slamming him against the brick building until a knee pelted itself in my liver.

“Fuck.” I let go of Marco and leaned against the wall. That was when a fist flew into my eye, shooting my head straight back into the brick. In a matter of seconds, my eye swelled shut, making the fight that much harder, that much more entertaining for me.

Call me a masochist, but I lived for this day, the day I was able to endure more pain than humanly possible.

My head was reeling, my pulse was rapid fire, and my will to fight was gone as I tried to navigate where everyone was but there was no hope. They surrounded me and used my closed eye to their advantage.

Blow after blow, I was tossed around the circle, kicked in the side, pelted in the arms, in the ribcage, in the chest.

Vinny’s tall frame hovered over me as his fist rammed into my side, making me buckle over just as his knee came up and knocked me in the head, sending me backward to the ground. One of the nephews straddled me and pinned my arms down with his legs, sending blow after blow into my sides and then one to the other side of my jaw.

Sharp pangs ran through me, my vision started to fade, and the slow warm drip of blood crept across my face. The person pinning me down fled, and when I thought they were done, they started taking turns kicking me with their steel-toed boots.

Kick after motherfucking kick had my stomach revolting and my chest heaving for air. The pain was excruciating, and even in my numbest state, I still felt every knock they threw my way.

Everything around me became hazy, and I started to slip into a dark delirium when I heard the distinct sound of Jett’s voice.

“I think that’s enough, Vinny.”

Why was Jett here? He never came down to the alley because he didn’t agree with my punishment, he didn’t believe it was a way to live my life, but what the fuck did he know? He had no idea of the kind of pain I went through on a daily basis.

“Mr. Colby, what a pleasure.”

The guys backed off as Jett approached. “Vinny, congratulations on the twins. How is Theresa doing?”

 “Great, thanks for asking. You should see the size of her tits. Doc says I can’t go at her right now, but shit is she making it hard on me.”

Jett laughed shortly. “Listen to the doc. You don’t want to do any permanent damage.”

“You know I will,” Vinny replied. “I think we’re done here. Are you going to collect the mess?”

“Yeah, unfortunately. Maybe next year, you don’t show up.”

“He pays me too well to let that happen. Sorry, man.”

“I would pay you more not to do it.”

Silence filled the alleyway as I assumed Vinny thought about Jett’s offer. If I hadn’t been in so much pain and my voice might reach them, I would have protested but there was no use.

“You make a compelling offer, Mr. Colby, but I couldn’t do that to Mr. Haywood. I see an empty man inside him, a hurting man. I know what this kind pain can do to him. I know it helps him forget. I don’t want to take that away from him. He needs this.”

Vinny was my kind of people.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe I can convince you another time.”

“Don’t count on it.”

Vinny stepped over me, giving me one last kick to the hip. “Until next year, Mr. Haywood. Take care of yourself.”

Vinny and his nephews retreated, leaving me aching on the ground of New Orleans.

Jett crouched next to me and turned me so he could see my face. “Fucking hell,” he muttered. “Why do you do this, Kace?”

I rolled to my stomach and pressed my hands against the ground to lift myself up. I stayed there on my hands and knees for a bit, trying to catch my breath and watching the blood drip from my face with my one good eye.

Small crimson droplets flooded into a puddle seeping into the cobblestone, soaking the streets with yet another sin that would be washed away later.

I coughed a few times. The feeling of glass shards ripped through my lungs, and I knew they’d broken at least a few of my ribs. It would be a long recovery with no painkillers. I looked forward to it.

“Take me home,” I muttered, allowing Jett to grab my arm and help me up.

“Why, Kace?” he asked again, lifting my arm over his shoulders to help me walk. I had tunnel vision, only able to see a few feet in front of me.

“It’s too much,” I said, coughing again.

“What is?” Jett asked, bringing me around the corner to an idling car. Before Jett helped me into the vehicle, he made me look at him and answer his question.

“The memory, Jett. The memory is too fucking much.”

He understood and helped me into the car, where towels and ice were waiting for me.

I knew my best friend loathed this day. I knew he hated seeing me like this, and I knew he hated the fact that he couldn’t alter my decision-making process on this day.

Jett was a man who strived to save lives. This was one fucking life he wouldn’t be able to save, no matter how hard he tried.

Chapter Twenty Five

My present…

I rolled to my side and looked at the clock just before it started ringing, letting me know it was time to get up. Every last inch of my body burned as I threw the covers off me.

There was a lack of energy in my body and an abundance of pain throbbing down every inch of my frame.

Shower. I needed a hot shower.

Exerting my muscles, I lifted my body off my mattress and slowly walked to my bathroom where I turned the water to the hottest setting. I stumbled to the shitter where I pissed a liter worth of whiskey while steam from the shower started to billow from the top.

Flushing the toilet, I carefully walked over to the shower where I stepped in and allowed the searing hot water to run over me. The water was so hot, it almost felt cold. With my face in the water, I pressed my hands against the tile and let the water run over my aching body.

Vinny had been surprised to get a call from me last night, but with a little coaxing, he’d met me in the alley and taken care of business. There had been a concerned look on his face, but I knew he wouldn’t ask questions. He was just there to do a job. He’d left me bruised and battered, making sure to stay below the neck since I had to teach a class that morning.

I never doubled up in a year, ever, but after seeing Madeline and Linda yesterday, I’d needed the pain. I’d needed a release, and Vinny was able to deliver.

Water continued to run down my back, reminding me that in fact, I was still alive, a privilege I shouldn’t be granted but that also shouldn’t be wasted. I gathered up my soap and washed and thought about yesterday.