“Hey!” she shouted, completely offended, as I walked away. “I don’t need taking care of. I can handle my own! Come back here. I dare ya!”

From a distance, I could hear Jett Coax her as he said, “Easy, killer.”

Vibrating with irritation, I went to my room and slammed my door, looking around for something to punch. The urge to demolish every inanimate object in my sight was overwhelming.

I fucking hated my life. The pain was too much, the guilt was far too heavy, and the unhappiness I experienced on a day-to-day basis overpowering. Something had to give, and I was afraid to find out what it was going to be.

Chapter Twenty Nine

My present…

I pounded  the door, begging for entry. I didn’t know where else to go. I needed an escape and I’d ended up here.

A series of locks unclicked and the door swung open, revealing a disheveled-looking Lyla. Her hair was askew. She was wearing a robe, and she looked flustered.

“Kace,” she answered while straightening her hair. “What are you doing here?”

Her appearance was suspicious. It was almost like she had someone in the apartment with her. The sickening feeling running through me turned into pure rage as I charged inside. I had no right to be upset. We weren’t together. She could do whatever the hell she wanted, but that didn’t matter. In my mind, she was mine, no one else’s.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked as I stormed straight into her bedroom. I kicked her door in and was shocked to see no one in the room.

“Where is he?” I turned on her. She was standing right behind me with her hands on her hips.

“Who?” she asked, starting to get defensive.

“The man you were just fucking.”

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” she practically shouted. “Do you see a man here?”

I looked around again and noticed the hot pink vibrator in the middle of her bed. “Were you taking care of yourself?” I asked her.

“You’re offensive!” She stuck her chin up and walked away. I followed close behind. She opened the door and said, “Leave.”

I stood in place, not wanting to go. It wasn’t the best entrance I’d ever made, but I didn’t care. I needed her. The rage left me and in its place was hurt and confusion.

“Lyla,” I said softly with my hands in my pockets.

She shut the door and came up to me. She placed her hands on my chest and made me meet her eyes. “Kace, what’s wrong?”

I crashed into her, tears flowing as I fell apart in her arms. She clutched my back and pulled me closer. Vaguely, I recognized her moving us to the couch where we sat down and I pulled her onto my lap. She straddled my legs and lifted my chin so she could wipe the tears.

“You’re scaring me. What’s going on?” she asked. Her robe opened at her chest so I could see the swell of her breast.

At that moment, I needed to lose myself in her. She needed her to help me forget.

Without a word, I kissed her. The combination of my tears with her lips made for a salty chemistry. It was intoxicating.

“Wait.” She pulled away, a hand on my chest. “You have to tell me what’s going on.”

“Lyla, I’m spiraling out of control. I need to get lost in you so fucking bad it hurts. Help me forget, please,” I begged.

“Forget what?” she asked, searching my eyes.

“Forget my sins,” I replied.

I allowed her to wipe away a stray tear, and when I thought she was going to make me talk some more, she opened her robe and displayed her gorgeously naked body.

“I’m yours,” she whispered.

Grateful, I stood up, grabbed her hand, and walked her to the bedroom. I moved her previous entertainment from the bed and laid her gently on the mattress. I went to remove my clothing, but she stopped me.

“Let me,” she offered. Unable to take control like I normally did, I succumbed to her request.

She sat on the bed and moved her hands to the hem of my shirt. Instead of taking my shirt off, she lifted it and partially exposed my stomach. My abs rippled when she touched me.

She placed little kisses across my taut stomach. Her tongue traveled each ridge, from the V of my hips to the top of my six pack. She was loving me. With each kiss, I could feel the healing power she was bestowing.

Standing, she removed my shirt and flung it aside. Her hands instantly found my pecs, and she scraped her fingernails down them. The scratching of her fingers across my skin was welcome; I loved the pain and she knew it.

Once her fingers found my stomach, her lips traced kisses over the scratches, trying to heal the open wounds. I wanted to accept that her kisses were all I needed to move forward, to forget everything I believed in, everything I set out for these past years, but I knew that wasn’t the case.

I stood rigid as Lyla still tried to infuse understanding through her kisses. Her hands wandered down to my waist where she unbuttoned my jeans and tugged on them. I helped by stepping out of them and toeing them aside. She gripped my ass tightly, making my cock jolt forward. Then she slipped her hands into my briefs and pulled them away from the back, letting them slowly slip down over my rigid cock.

Once I was naked, she led me to her bed, where she pushed me against the mattress and straddled my legs. Her hands ran up my thighs and then to my stomach, where she inched herself down, her breasts hovering over my erection and her mouth just above my belly button. She lowered her lips and started kissing my body once again.

I melted into the mattress as Lyla took care of me with her beautiful lips. She kissed me from the tops of my shoulders, to my pecs, to my stomach, and then hovered right above my cock. She licked her lips, gripped my dick, and put it in her mouth.

A low groan escaped me from the heat. She was gentle, thorough, and took her time, making sure to run her tongue over each pulsing vein. There was no urgency in her touch, no need to get me to the edge. She was loving me, adoring me, helping me escape the dark hole I’d buried myself in.

My arm fell over my eyes, trying to cover the tears that were threatening to cascade down my chiseled face. My life was so fucked up, and right now, this woman would do anything to make it better. If I hadn’t already fucking loved her, I goddamn loved her now.

Fuck, I wasn’t supposed to let her in, but right now, with her compassion and understanding, how could I not let her break through my walls? I didn’t have a chance.

Her lips slowed and her hands ran up my thighs. She looked up at me and then freed her mouth. She leaned over to the nightstand, opened the drawer, and grabbed a condom. Expertly, she rolled it over my throbbing dick and then positioned herself so she was sitting on my thighs but not allowing the intimate connection I craved.

“I want you to take me how you want, Kace. I want you to lose yourself.”

Feeling a little weak, I pulled her down on the mattress and then got up on my knees. I ran my hand over my mouth in awe of the beauty that lay beneath me. Her eyes gleamed with unshed tears and her lips were swollen from the kissing she kindly bestowed upon me. Her hair was fanned out against her pillow.

I kneeled between her legs and placed my hands on either side of her head. I dipped my head so my lips were just above hers. Softly, I said, “I’m sorry for everything, Lyla.”

“Don’t apologize, Kace.”

I shook my head. “I need to apologize. You’ve been there for me during times when I didn’t deserve it, like now,” I choked out and quickly pressed my fingers into my eyes, trying to erase the emotions that kept wanting to pour out. “I want you to know I care about you. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone, and the reason I haven’t given myself over to you, why I haven’t cashed in on the intense feelings I have for you, is because there has been something clouding my way of living.”