“Ooookay… What’s up with you two?” Sadie said.

“Nothing.”

She snorted. Obviously, I wasn’t very convincing.

“Fine,” I said. I threw up my hands and let everything out. Without any restraint, I let the words spill out in a rush, my anger and frustration increasing the more I spoke. “You want to know what happened? I’ll tell you! He came over, scared me half to death, then I told him about the baby and he bloody kissed me!”

She gasped, her mouth widening into a smile. “Did you sleep with him?”

“No! We didn’t get that bloody far, ‘cause he fucking left!”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t fucking know!”

“Bastard! But he did kiss you? What kind of kiss… Was it just a peck? Or…” she said as she wrinkled her nose.

I shook my head in amazement as I recalled how my whole body had heated up as his mouth had made contact with mine. “No, it was hot and heavy; my god Sadie, I thought I was going to die.”

Her eyes bulged. “I don’t get it, then why would he leave?”

I swallowed past the dryness of my throat. “Fuck knows. I thought I had him all figured out. Maybe he was scared ‘cause of the whole stepsister thing? Or he regretted it? I mean, come on, look at me. Why would a guy like him want me? It was probably a mistake. He probably didn’t mean to do it, and I obviously made it worse when I kissed him back… and he came to his senses.”

“Sara,” she warned gently.

But I kept on rambling, “Why would he do it, anyway? Kiss me like that, ruin our relationship, and now I don’t know if I can work for him, see him every day—”

She cut me off with a hand. Her voice was stern and had that no-nonsense tone to it. “Sara, stop being so stupid.”

“Wha—”

“Are you blind or something? Don’t you see the way he looks at you? Well, of course you don’t, because you’re too blinded by your own crazy feelings for him! Jeez, I despair with you two, honestly. And my god, woman! The way he cares for you and comes running when you need him most? You must be blind!”

“I…”

Sadie huffed in annoyance and continued to explain everything as if I were a child. “What I’m trying to say is that Harvey loves you, Sara. You can’t fake that kind of stuff! And he’ll be lost without you if you suddenly just disappear from his life.”

“No, that’s not possible,” I whispered, feeling my knees tremble. I was grateful that I’d already sat down. “Loves me? Maybe like a sister…”

“No, you idiot!” Sadie said, infuriated. “He loves you, loves you, Sara. Even a fool can make out the outline of his undying love for you from a mile away.”

“But… It could never work, Sadie.”

She rose to her feet and planted her hands upon the sides of her waist but then started wagging a pointed finger at me. “OK, then. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s been obsessed with finding the right woman, a flawless beauty who ticked all his boxes. He used to go on countless dates, Sara. He was a bit of a man-whore, let’s be honest. But he had this drive to find her, and I should know, I was the one arranging all the bloody dates. Trawling through dating sites and hooking him up with ex-uni friends… But guess what?”

“What?”

“He stopped looking, started standing them up. You wouldn’t believe the backlash I got from those women. And do you know why he stopped? Why he’s no longer letting women drape themselves all over him?”

I shook my head, not sure if I was ready to hear the answer.

“Because of you, you nonce! Four months ago everything changed.”

Sadie took a calming breath, but she wasn’t done yet. She was going to beat me over the head with it until I accepted that Harvey was in love with me. Even thinking it didn’t seem real…

“It’s because he’s been busy with you, and don’t take that the wrong way. He’s at his happiest when you’re around. He would come into the office and tell me all these things about you, and how wonderful you were and are. Sara, I don’t think he’s cared for anyone like that before, ever. You’ve changed his life by letting him into yours.”

I blinked at her. “I think I love him, too.”

“Well, of course you do!” I think she was ready to bash her skull against her desk at that point.

Yet it still didn’t feel real. It wouldn’t until I saw him again and heard him say it, if he ever would. Me, who had all these imperfections and who didn’t seem to fit into his world… it was unthinkable that he could he fall for me. He was my opposite, with his gorgeous features, drop-dead body… he is my opposite, I realised with a flash. He believed in me when no one else did, when everyone left me to my own destruction.

“You look pale. I didn’t mean to shout. Would you like a glass of water?” Sadie asked, yanking me out of my thoughts. When I gave a nod, she moved away and retrieved the water from the dispenser in the corner.

“Here.” She handed me the cup.

“Thanks,” I replied and cautiously sipped at the water, hoping the nausea of the previous days would stay clear for once.

Sadie’s phone rang and she picked it up. “Sure, I’ll be there in a minute.” She placed the handset back onto its receiver. “I gotta go help David. But you should think about what you’re going to do next. You have to do what’s right for you and your baby, Sara. But my advice, follow your heart and ignore your head.”

She winked at me, and I watched her leave. I twirled around in my seat and started up the laptop, watching it boot up as tried to figure out what to do about Harvey. After entering the password and clicking a few keys, I was ready to start work on the Excel sheet I’d opened. It was so hard to concentrate when all I wanted to do was go find Harvey. I wanted to tell him exactly what I was feeling and to demand to know what his problem was. Why had he walked out on me last night? I decided to wait till he returned; he’d be back soon enough.

An hour passed by, dragging me kicking and screaming through the minutes, and my butt went numb. Over time I began to realise that my heart had picked up speed and was now hammering in my chest. My breathing was laboured, as if I’d run up a flight of stairs. I grew agitated; my fingers shook and sweat dribbled down my spine. Just as I thought I was having a panic attack, I pushed away from my desk and paced around the office. The last time I’d felt this uneasy was after my nightmare about Eric… and something bad had happened.

My phone rang, vibrating its way across the desk. My hand pressed down on my beating heart as I walked over to grab it. I answered the incoming call and put it to my ear.

“Hello?” I said, believing the caller would be able to hear the thud of my heart.

“Mrs Sara Chambers?” said a female voice.

“Yes?”

“My name is Doris Everett, and I’m a nurse down at Ashton Hospital. We have you down as the emergency contact of a Harvey Guyer.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and dared to ask, “What is it? Oh my god, is he OK?” It felt like déjà vu, but instead of coming to my house to tell me, they were doing it over the phone. Had I lost him just when I realised I’d found him?

“I’m afraid Mr Guyer has been in an accident.”

My throat swelled and I couldn’t speak. Everything fell silent around me, and the phone slipped out of my hands, bouncing as it made contact with the floor.

“Mrs Chambers? Hello? Are you still there?”

20

Sara

The drive to the hospital was painful. My fingers clenched my purse tightly as the taxi driver did his best to avoid the traffic jams. I drummed the pads of my fingers against the leather, and my teeth sank down on my bottom lip in desperation, willing the cars to move. I’d almost got out to walk a few times, but each time we’d suddenly start moving again, inching closer to my destination, so I sat trapped inside the stuffy vehicle that smelled of sweat and cigarettes.