“Yeah, where is that pansy?” someone else shouts. “I thought we were doing a night ski? What the fuck?”

“There’s no way you can ski right now,” Mark says as he slams back another shot.

“Who says?” Ryan jumps down from the countertop. Ryan is always the voice of reason, so maybe he’s right. Maybe we can.

“I’m pretty wasted,” Mark says with a pride-filled grin.

“Brian is asleep, and you’re all too wasted to go skiing,” Blythe says from behind the bar. “I know, because I’ve been making drinks for you guys from this ridiculous concoction of alcohol you have here.”

“Hey, it’s not like we can just walk into a liquor store and choose whatever we want.”

“Speak for yourself,” Mark interjects.

“Then where is it, slick? This is whatever we could sneak in,” Adam says.

“Hey, I’m not complaining.” Mark holds his hands up in surrender, spilling some of his drink down the front of his shirt.

“Point made.” Blythe smiles. “You are all too drunk to go tonight.”

“I’m going to wake Brian up.”

“Oh, no, you’re not, Adam.” Blythe steps in front of him, and I see Mark straighten like he’s ready to tackle him.

“No need. I’m up.” We all turn around to see Brian standing there fully dressed in his ski pants and jacket, skis in hand. “Let’s go.”

“It’s not a good idea, Bri. We need chaperones to ski,” Blythe says calmly.

“Please. Who says? We’re all practically eighteen. Some of us are eighteen.” He looks over at Mark who thrusts his arms up in the air in acknowledgment. “Mark can be our chaperone.”

“You know what I mean,” Blythe says, stepping forward.

“Come on, baby. This is our senior ski trip. You only get one.” Then he looks at Adam. “Well, Rogers might get two.”

“Fuck you!” Adam shouts back with a smile.

“You wish.” Brian smiles back.

“Hey, hey, two-year-olds. No one is going skiing,” Blythe says a little louder, getting everyone’s attention.

“Watch me. Get your skis. Slopes in ten minutes!” Brian shouts to the room.

Every part of my brain agrees with Blythe, but I know I can’t let them go without me. I can’t miss this, and someone needs to look out for Brian.

“MC?” Brian asks at his hesitation.

“Fine. I’m in,” Mark says. “I mean, you need a chaperone, right?”

“Baby?” He runs his hands over Blythe’s hips as he pulls her closer.

Blythe shakes her head. “You’re an idiot, but I love you.” She kisses him. “Fine, I’ll go.”

“That’s my girl.” He kisses her back then yells out to the rest of the room, “Ten minutes!” He glances over and sees Ryan and Gretch on the couch, oblivious to the new plan. “Taylor, remove yourself from Gretchen and get your damn skis.” He smiles and ducks to avoid the pillow Ryan chucks at him, and then we all start to depart to get our gear.

***

Once the cold air hits me, I feel invincible. As much as I know Brian sometimes has bad ideas, this isn’t one of them.

I’m with Mark on the lift, and up ahead, couple after couple is making out as we ride up the mountain.

Mark turns to me. “Want a go, Hamilton? I always thought you were pretty.” He leans in and then cracks a smile.

“You’re an ass.” I smack him in the head.

“Come on, everyone else is doing it.” He then shouts at the top of his lungs, “Oh, Todd! Stop! You’re so big and strong!”

I’m laughing so hard I can’t catch my breath, although I have now scooted as far over on the other side of our chair as humanly possible.

“Oh, Todd!” he continues to shout as we reach the drop off.

We both jump off to a crowd of our friends waiting. The guys are hooting and hollering, and the girls all have their arms crossed with disgusted looks on their faces, but they’re still smiling.

“Way to keep a low profile,” Blythe says, trying to hide her laugh.

“I’m sorry; it’s just so hard to contain myself when I’m around Hamilton!” Mark shouts, now gathering attention from other passersbys.

Rick and Adam are the last of our group, and as they approach the drop off, Adam shouts, “I’m riding with Hamilton next!”

“Don’t you know it!” I wink at Adam.

“Oh, no, you don’t.” Mark jumps on my back. “He’s mine.”

“Keep it moving, guys!” Ryan shouts back to us. He is already up at the starting position.

We finally meet up with the rest of the group while Mark continues to “fight” with Adam over me. We practically have the slopes to ourselves. We all put our headphones in before we push off. I’m blasting Fall Out Boy.

As we push off, I’m reminded of how much I love to ski. The rush of the speed is exhilarating, freeing. I have never skied at night, which turns out to be incredible. The lights are glistening off the pristine surface of the snow, and the sky is filled with stars. I didn’t even know this many stars existed. At home, we must only see a third of these. There are more sparkling stars than deep blue sky. It’s an entire sky of stars.

I’m in deep concentration on the bends, curves, and bumps left from other skiers. I am one with this course. I have never felt so alone yet so surrounded by friends in my life. My body feels the bends and turns, and I start to anticipate them. I’ve never skied this run before, but it’s like my body has. I no longer feel the cold; instead, I’m working up a sweat. I’m so glad we did this. Once again, Brian was right.

Up ahead, I see something blocking the path. It’s hard to make out because, even though the course is well lit, it’s still dark out. As I get closer, I see it’s moving, but not fast enough, and I know I need to swerve or I’m going to run right into it. Without even reading what’s to the right of me, I swerve on instinct, and my ski catches something. I don’t have time to think.

I’m on the ground at full speed. The control I had a second ago is lost, and I’m on my side, being dragged through the powdery soft snow from the sheer gravity of the slope. I can’t stop myself. I don’t even see the marker until my leg slams into it.

Searing pain slices through my right leg. Fuck. I instantly know it’s bad. It’s like my soul knows.

“Todd!” I hear Ryan’s voice cut through all the other noise. Somehow, he ended up behind me. I don’t know where I am, but I know I can’t move.

“Don’t move him!” I hear Ryan again.

“Oh, my God,” I hear Gretchen saying over and over.

“Gretch, do you have your phone?” Ryan asks.

“Shit, man. I’m so sorry,” I hear Mark. “I thought it was a good idea to sit down. I was going too fast,” he’s saying to someone else, but I’m not sure who. It was Mark on the slope I almost ran into.

I hear Ryan’s voice again, closer now. “Todd?” he keeps repeating my name.

I open my eyes, not even realizing they were closed.

“Oh, thank God,” Ryan says quickly, mostly under his breath. “Are you okay?”

“No,” I try to say, but I’m having a hard time forming words. “It’s my leg.”

I see the look on his face as soon as realization sinks in, and then he quickly erases the panic for my sake and goes into automatic lifeguard mode.

“I called the ski desk for help,” Gretch says as she makes her way over to us through the snow. “They’re sending a rescue team up.”

“It’s marker seventeen,” I hear Blythe coming up, and then Brian is in my face.

“Todd? Todd, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m great,” I say, though my voice sounds off. I don’t like the way it sounds, as if it’s verifying something is wrong.

“It’s his right leg,” Ryan says. From his tone, I know the look he just gave Brian.

“Shiiiit,” I hear Brian, but he’s farther away now.

I’m in so much pain I can’t move. I know it’s bad. I’m trying to put on a brave face, but I know what this means. I don’t need Ryan to try to protect me from reality. Broken leg equals broken future.

“Is everything okay?” I hear a voice I don’t recognize.

“Yeah, we called for help,” Gretchen answers, surprisingly in control. Maybe she’s more like Ryan than I ever realized.