chapter six

†

SEVEN

After the challenge I threw down last night, I thought he’d want to get to work right away but Luke insisted we do nothing but chill. He ordered some Chinese which we ate in front of the television. We didn’t do anything that I haven’t done any other night of the year in my apartment in New York. It was a completely ordinary night.

Other than the fact that I was spending it with Luke.

As many times as we’ve chatted online, talking face-to-face allows for an entirely new dimension to our conversations. He has such an expressive face and before long I could anticipate his reactions just by the way his eyes narrow or how his mouth quirks to one side when he’s amused. It’s alarming how quickly I’ve become attuned to his moods.

And how barren my life will feel once he’s no longer in it.

When I wake up, he’s gone but there’s a blanket draped over me and the television is off. I sit up and glance around, pushing my hair off my face. The thought of Luke tucking me in fills me with guilt.

He’s trusting me with his dreams and I’m betraying him.

As I stand, every muscle in my body protests. I might have to abandon my story of preferring the couch at night. My back feels like it might have a permanent curve in it after sleeping all cramped up.

“Good morning.”

I jump at the sound of his voice. “Morning. You’re up early.”

“Need coffee. You want some?”

The sight of Luke in the kitchen fiddling with the coffee maker is so homey that it’s hard to watch. Emotion floods through me and for just a moment I allow myself to be a complete and total girl. Like, full-on, giggly, Hallmark card ridiculous. I turn away so he won’t catch sight of the way I’m grinning like a fool.

It’s just that this scene is so close to what I’ve imagined. Things I’m too embarrassed to admit I long for. Having a cute boyfriend who makes me coffee. To wake every day to that goofy smile and the tender look in his eyes that says he’s glad to see me.

That isn’t the only thing that says he’s glad to see you.

I glance over at Luke again and my eyes drop to the loose-fitting pajama pants that ride low on his hips. Pants that aren’t as loose-fitting as they should be in the front.

I can feel my cheeks burning as I spin around. My movements are jerky as I kneel and collect the blanket, folding it carefully and placing it on the back of the couch.

“Yeah, I want some.” The double meaning of the words hits me as soon as I say them and I shake my head. “I need coffee in the morning, too. That’s what I mean.”

Luke watches me as I walk around the room, feigning interest in the books he has stacked on the end table and the pictures on the walls. There’s one thing that I haven’t seen since I arrived.

His laptop.

I haven’t seen anything other than the desktop in his office and after poking around the first night I can tell he doesn’t use that much. Considering who he is and considering who I am, the omission seems deliberate. He doesn’t trust me yet. Even though it’s going to make things harder for me, my respect for him jumps a few more notches.

“Are you okay?”

“Hmm?” I turn from the window and then accept the mug Luke hands me.

After blowing the surface gently a few times, he takes a tentative sip from his own mug, watching me over the brim.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just looking around. This isn’t what I always imagined your place would look like.”

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrows but I can tell he isn’t mad. His eyes crinkle a little at the corners and I get the impression he’s laughing at me behind his cup.

“No. I was expecting more of a bachelor pad. With black leather everywhere and tons of video screens.”

He laughs. “Sorry to disappoint you with my boring taste.”

“Not boring. Normal. Refreshingly normal.”

“That’s probably the first time I’ve ever been called normal.”

Our eyes meet in a moment of complete and total understanding. Neither of us has ever been the type to fit in. Being outside the norm, a weirdo, a geek, whatever word people want to apply to us is a part of what drew us to each other. But when we’re together like this, I don’t feel strange or different.

“So, I couldn’t sleep last night and I was thinking. I need to make some changes.”

He deposits his coffee cup on a side table and then pulls out a folder. When he hands it to me, I open it to see the same list he sent me over email. His proposed curriculum for his coding school.

“Changes to your class list?”

He shrugs. “Everything. I added a few more things to the list but it feels… I don’t know. Incomplete.”

I scan down the list, reading the new things he’s added to the bottom. It’s mainly security stuff for the more advanced students like fuzzing, Trojans and how to spot a DDoS attack.

He leans closer, his arm brushing against mine as he drags his finger down the tentative curriculum he’s drawn up.

“Some of these are going to be for the later classes, obviously. But I just wanted to get my ideas on paper. Just as a start.”

“It’s a great start. But …”

“What? You have an idea?” When I hesitate, his voice deepens. “I really want your input, Sev.”

The rumble of his deep voice rolls through me and I shiver inwardly. Usually I hate it when people try to nickname me but when Luke does it, it feels different somehow. Personal.

“Well, when I was first learning to code, it was difficult to practice since I didn’t have ready access to a computer.”

“Right.” He nods encouragingly.

“I would jot lines of code down in my notebook and study them when I got home. So I was thinking maybe we could provide some printable sheets and exercises in addition to the online tests.”

As I talk, I can feel myself getting excited. This program would have made such a difference if it had been around when I was a kid. Even if I didn’t have a computer, if I’d had someone provide me with pre-printed worksheets that I could study it would have been so much easier.

“That’s a great idea. Looks like you’re saving my ass all over again, huh? I didn’t even think about that.” He jots printed worksheets at the top of the page in his neat, block handwriting.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He looks at me strangely. “This is exactly why I wanted your input. You’ll think of all the stuff I’m missing.”

My breath whooshes out in relief. “I just didn’t want you to think I was trying to take over your project.”

I glance over at Luke. He’s watching me with a little smile on his face. It’s always tricky to propose new ideas for someone else’s projects. This is a pet cause for him and I don’t want him to think I’m being critical. But to my surprise, the little grin on his face spreads until he bites his lip and looks down.

“Feel free to take over anything you want.” He looks up at me, his dark eyes following the movement of my hand as it tugs on the ends of my hair.

The warmth that’s been steadily building as we sit so close together, magnifies. I tuck my hair nervously behind my ear even though I really want to pull it over my face and hide a little bit. God, it’s so hard to look at him this close. He smells so good and he has the longest lashes I’ve seen on a man. When those eyes swing my way all I can think about is all the ways I’d like to take over.

Mainly by climbing on top of him and seeing if his lips are as soft as they look.

“Okay,” I whisper. It’s all I can think of to say but his eyes glow with approval.

I can feel the old insecurity bubbling up and I want to untuck my hair and pull it forward to cover my scar so badly. But the way he’s watching me lets me know he has no problem with the way I look.