“What? Stop staring and spit it out.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “I never thought I’d see the day that you’d become a gym rat. Every time I talk to you now you’re heading to the gym, coming back from yoga, or on your way to Zumba. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you’re getting out of your apartment for reasons besides work. Just find it a little funny.” He shrugged as he spread cream cheese on his bagel.

My cousin and I had always been close, and it irritated me how he could see through me. He was more like a brother to me, like a twin brother since we share the exact same birthday. He was born at 11:37 A.M. on March eleventh, and I was born at noon. We were both only children, but he tended to think of himself as my older sibling, and honestly that half hour jump did make him a little older and wiser than me at times—not that I would ever tell him that.

“I like the gym. It’s a great stress reliever and I’m in better shape than I’ve ever been. I’m trying to change things up, be—”

“A brand-new Paige Taylor. Yes, I’m familiar with the speech.” Jack rolled his eyes and shrugged. “I’d like to see you get back out there and enjoy life a little, not hide from it.”

“I’m not hiding, Jack. Really. I just want to be alone for a little while. Nothing wrong with that.”

Jack shook his head. “Nothing wrong at all. I don’t miss that tool you were with or that nasty friend of yours.”

I shrugged. “I have no one to blame for that debacle but myself.”

Jack set his coffee cup on the table and gave me an irritated sideways glance.

“This should be good. How was catching your best friend screwing your fiancé your fault?” Jack leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed.

I let out a long sigh. “Chris and I . . . we should have never gotten engaged.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” I nudged his shoulder and chuckled.

“I know, I know. When you’re over thirty, and all your friends are married and on their way to having children, you settle for what you can get. At least that’s what I did. It’s not something I’m proud of—at all. Did I ever tell you how he proposed? No getting down on one knee with some declaration of love. He slid the ring box across the table at The Clipper, shrugged, and said ‘so?’”

Jack shook his head and snickered. “And you said yes?” I nodded. “God, you’re an idiot.” I kicked him under the table, making him laugh harder. “In his defense, if the shrimp got down on one knee he would have come up to your ankle. Can’t fault the twerp for being small. For being a douchebag, sure.”

“And I know you didn’t like Coral either . . .”

“She carried her arrogant boney ass around like she was better than everyone. And personally, I thought she was jealous of you.”

“Jealous?” I narrowed my eyes at my cousin. I couldn’t imagine what she could be jealous about. Coral was beautiful and brilliant, and always loved to point out what was wrong with me and talk down to me, as though she was doing me a favor by being my friend.

“Cuz,” Jack put his hand on my shoulder. “If you only got your head out of your ass once in a while, you would see there are plenty of options out there besides what you let yourself settle for. Don’t blame the biological clock bullshit, either. You were always like this.”

I nodded. Since I was fifteen, my love life had been a train wreck. You would think it would have improved at some point. I’d accepted the fact I had perpetual bad luck.

“And if you actually looked around, you’d see guys interested in you besides the ones you end up with because you think you can’t do better.” Jack took a gulp from his coffee and raised his eyebrows at me. “Know how many fights I got into with my friends for saying stupid shit about you? A few of them used to drool. It was pathetic.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Yeah. I’m sure they drooled. As you’ve so eloquently pointed out, I make shitty decisions when it comes to men, so I think it’s a good idea to just be on my own for a bit. It’s not so bad; kind of freeing actually.

“As long as you don’t turn into the cat lady, I’m behind you one hundred percent.” Jack smirked at me.

“No cats, I promise. You look good today. How are you feeling?”

“Honestly, and I hate saying this out loud because I’ll jinx myself, I feel great. This drug seems to be working wonders. I’m not spending my day in a haze so I can actually function enough to work. Fuck knows if I’m going to grow gills or a second head, but as long as I feel like this, bring it on!” He would be the only one who could pull off gills like a champ.

Jack had an aggressive form of leukemia, and went through months of grueling chemotherapy. His doctor suggested an experimental drug when nothing else was working, and since then he’d made a fantastic turnaround. I hoped maybe the miracle we all begged God for had finally happened.

Jack furrowed his brow and turned serious. “I just want to see my baby. Any time after that is just gravy.” Before his treatment started, Ellie and Jack saw a fertility specialist to get pregnant right away, as the chemo would most likely make Jack sterile.

I nudged his shoulder. “Stop that! You’ll see the baby and be the pain in the ass father you were always meant to be.” I couldn’t handle it when Jack spoke like he may not be here for much longer. I wasn’t mature enough to discuss the ‘what if’s’ so I was determined to reside in denial. The possibility of living without my older twin scared the shit out of me. Jack was my rock, and I didn’t know how to function in a world without him.

Jack grabbed my wrist and opened his mouth to say something, most likely to lecture me once again about being prepared, when we were saved by a knock at the door.

“Excuse me for a second.” As Jack sauntered over to the door, I noticed he gained some weight back. It both relieved and delighted me to see his clothes not falling off his bony frame anymore.

“Hey man, I guess Ellie and I are the only ones who actually sleep in on Saturday mornings. Come on in.”

I almost choked on my bagel at the sight of the man strolling into the kitchen.

“Evan? Holy shit, is that you?” I stood up from my seat at the table and he scooped me up in a big hug.

Evan had been Jack’s best friend since in high school. But he looked . . . different now. The last time I saw Evan was at Jack’s wedding two years ago. He was always sort of tall and lanky with floppy dark hair, but now he had a buzz cut and was sure as hell not skinny anymore. The tight T-shirt he wore clung to every muscle and ridge in his sculpted torso. I’d been alone for so long, the veins that outlined Evan’s biceps made me salivate. With his hair not covering his face, his eyes really stood out. They were an odd color, not brown, not hazel—almost golden.

I needed to get hold of myself. Evan was practically extended family. I let myself ogle him for another second before I internally shook it off. I’d been single a little too long—maybe it was time for that rabbit thing my friends were always suggesting to me.

“Yep, it’s me. How long has it been? Two years? You look amazing!”

My hair was matted in a messy ponytail, and I had a drying sweat stain under my boobs. I doubted I looked anything close to amazing, or even presentable.

“Yeah, okay. Sweet of you to lie. How long will you be here?”

“I forgot to tell you,” Jack interrupted. “Evan is officially back in the Bronx and working with me. In fact, he moved just down the block. We actually get to see this loser in person all the time now.” Jack slapped Evan on the back. They’d been close friends for years, even after Evan moved away.

Jack owned his own flooring company. He’d learned the trade doing side jobs during college. After he graduated with a business degree, he put his heart and soul into opening Taylor’s Flooring. Jack was a force to be reckoned with, and I was so damn proud of him.