One finger starts to pump in and out, while his mouth works my clit. His tongue is licking and sucking, then he stops and blows a breath across my hypersensitive nub, before repeating the process all over again. I feel his other hand squeezing one cheek of my ass, moving closer to the small puckered hole. He gives me no warning before sliding a finger inside my backside. I arch my back at the arousal this causes me. The sensation of him sinking one finger in my pussy and the other in my ass, while his mouth is on my clit takes me to a state of sexual euphoria I have never felt before. It’s a feeling I cannot even begin to describe. I let myself feel and I feel like I’m building up to float freely in the air. My muscles clamp down around his finger in my pussy. I moan and I nearly come out of my skin when my orgasm seizes me by surprise, in speeds as fast as my racing heart is beating. He’s relentless and I pray to the sex gods above for him to never stop his venerations on my pussy, because holy hell, he’s an exceptional idolizer of my body. He does stop though, but only to grab me by my limp arms, hoist me up, and disrobe me of my shirt and bra.

“I need to touch you.” I reach out to him.

“You will, but not yet, baby. The minute I have my cock inside of you, that’s when you can touch me all you want,” he says, starting to unbutton his shirt. When he sheds it and pulls his t-shirt over his chest, I gawk, my mouth watering at the thought of licking those abs. He’s beautiful. I mean, if a muscle can grow over the top of another muscle, then his do. Holy Christ. My fingers clench in anticipation to slide over them, my mouth drier than the sandy beaches of Lake Michigan, eager to suck his nipples and trail my fingers down that line of hair to his cock. His pants and boxers go, leaving Camden Steel, the man who has entered my thoughts so many times over the past ten years, a man I never thought I would see again, standing gloriously naked in front of me. “Lay back, Luca.” His voice sounds just as edgy as I feel.

I move to the center of my bed. Camden grabs all my throw pillows off, two at a time. He yanks my covers out from under me until I’m bared before him on top of my silk sheets.

Never in my life have I seen a look so predatory, so full of want and need as the look on his face when he climbs on top of me, locking his eyes with mine. “You may not understand this and we can talk more about it later, but I’m telling you know, I will not take you, Luca, until you tell me you will be mine. Until you tell me Lucia is dead. She can no longer exist.” This ultimatum sounds so absurd. Ridiculous even. We haven’t seen each other in years. Hell, we don’t even know each other, yet I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to belong to someone and have them belong to me. Do I really want this? Does he?

“I… I can let her go.” Words I never thought I would say stumble out of my mouth. Where I can’t believe what I just said, I know that I did say it and mean it. I also know we will talk, because I need to know why – why he wants me.

Dipping his head, he takes my mouth in his, controlling and owning it. I taste my essence on his tongue and lips. He growls like a madman, plunging his magical tongue in my mouth, twisting my insides into a knot. In this moment, Camden consumes me. All that matters is him.

“Oh god,” I groan into his mouth when the tip of his dick slides across my over sensitive clit. He chuckles, grinding against me more. He leaves my mouth hanging wide open, panting, as he pulls one of my nipples into his mouth, tweaking the other with his free hand. He spends minutes on each one, driving me to the verge of another orgasm.

“I need you,” I say.

“I want you,” he says, right before he guides himself into me. He’s so big. So thick. I’m stretched to capacity. Indulging in a sexual, carnal bliss when he slowly begins to move. This isn’t about fucking or an instant orgasm. This is about how we both make each other feel. I feel safe, secure, willing to lose myself in this emotional moment.

My hands run down his spine, navigating to cup his firm ass, pulling him deeper into me. His strokes long and slow. My eyes are closed from allowing myself to feel, but when they flutter open, he’s gazing down upon me, watching me intently with his piercing eyes. He thrusts into me hard and I gasp, my hips moving up to meet his.

“Fuck, babe, I’ve dreamt of this moment forever, never once thinking it would happen. Never did I think I would see the woman who captivated me and never left my mind all those years ago.”

I’m speechless. Unsure how to respond, I bring a hand up to cup his square jaw. He never forgot me either; his words uncovering memories of pleasure only the two of us share.

Our movements synchronized from slow and steady to fast and hard. Grinding, groaning, and centering on each other’s pleasure. I’m on the cusp of coming when he picks up his speed. Tilting my pelvis higher to increase the friction, I explode at the same time Camden Steel spills himself inside of me.

***

“I remember this sweatshirt. I wanted to bring it up when I first walked in last night, but your ass in those jeans distracted me.”  He lifts a catchy brow. He tosses the sweater at me after his appraisal, knocking me off guard. We both fell asleep shortly after I wound my legs around his waist as he took me hard and fast, while he sat straight up against the headboard of my bed. I rode him just as hard, pulling up and crashing back down repeatedly until it felt like our bodies were somehow joined together in an unending way.

“I remember it too,” I say, folding it neatly across my lap. I’m happily sore in all the right places, but my mind is sullen, not from regret over what happened between the two of us, but more over the fact that I feel like I gave in too easy. I told him I would give up one of the things I cherish most. It’s not giving up the sex with other men I’m concerned about. I know Camden can fulfill every fantasy and carnal act I can conjure up. It’s the thrill of it that I’ll miss. The idea of someone catering to my every need. The touch of silk sliding across my body as I slip into a gown bought for me. To trace my neck with my fingers, admiring the way an emerald necklace lays perfectly at the base of my throat. It’s a craving like any drug; I need it. I want it and unquestionably desire it. To give in is so unlike the woman I am. I feel lost this morning, like I don’t even know who I am and that outweighs the attentiveness of Camden Steel.

ELEVEN

“It’s snowing and blowing hard out there. How in the hell can you stand it here?” he scowls, lifting his hands in the air. I twist my lips at him and he looks back out the window.

“I can’t,” I strike back harshly. Those are the first words I’ve really spoken to him since I stepped out of the shower an hour ago. I’ve been avoiding him the best I could by making coffee, before excusing myself by going into my home office stating I needed a little time to make a few phone calls.

I collapsed against my door, dropping to the floor, and made a single call to Carl telling him everything. I told him I can’t do this, I can’t do what I promised the night before. I cannot fly out on a whim and expect to have a relationship with a man I barely even know. A man I only spent a few days with ten years ago. It’s ludicrous. I’m not a fly by the seat of your pants woman. I like order. I need purpose. I need both of her. Not a man. And what did my best and oldest friend in the world tell me? The opposite of what I expected him to say. He told me this was a sign. I laughed at that one and then repeated his words back to him.