“How can you tell?” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

“He’s my son. He’s part of me. There’s not a whole lot of gray when it comes to Tyler.”

I laughed, wiping my tears. “I noticed that.”

“When he loves, he loves with his entire heart. When he hurts, the pain is excruciating. I’m sure he’s spent every day since you left trying to figure out a way to convince you he’s worth you taking a risk on him again, despite what happened between you two.” She squeezed my hands, the gesture warm and precisely what I needed to assuage my fears. “Now,” she continued, her voice returning to its typical frivolity, “you must be starving. Do you like lasagna?”

I beamed at her, nodding.

As I sat watching her prepare dinner, I couldn’t help but be reminded of spending time in the kitchen with my own mother. Despite the posh surroundings, everything was so homey and comfortable. Time passed seamlessly as we sat at an informal farmhouse-style kitchen table and she told me stories about Tyler when he was a little boy. I told her about our crazy whirlwind romance that only lasted all of two weeks, but felt like we had known each other for years.

“Time doesn’t matter, dear,” she offered when I questioned whether he could feel as strongly about me as she insisted he did. “You can be in a relationship for years and feel nothing for the other person, or you can be together for mere weeks and feel something so strong, so beautiful, so perfect, you’d be a fool to walk away just because it hasn’t been long enough. Don’t let society dictate how long you need to be together. Love doesn’t grow. It happens, and you can’t control it. If you don’t feel it from the beginning, it’s not love.”

“When did you know with Thomas?” I asked, sipping my water. The smell of garlic and tomatoes made my stomach growl, and I couldn’t wait to devour the cheesy deliciousness she had prepared.

“Before he even said a word,” she responded, a dreamy glimmer in her eyes. “It was the summer after I graduated high school and I was enjoying my time with friends before we all went our separate ways. I was supposed to be leaving for college in a few months, and some of my friends were heading to teaching or nursing school. Others were hitchhiking their way across the country, trying to get to California. It was the sixties, after all.”

Her voice was gentle and calm, a warm smile crossing her face as if she were remembering the moment like it was yesterday.

“My girlfriends and I took the train into the city so we could go to the esplanade to listen to the Fourth of July concert and watch the fireworks. At the time, the drinking age was eighteen, so we brought a cooler and a few blankets, found a spot on the grass, and spent our day soaking up the sun. After a few hours, we ran out of beer, so I went in search of a concession stand to buy some more. There was a long line, but I waited, knowing my friends would be disappointed if I returned empty-handed. As I was heading back to them, balancing four beers in my hands, I ran into a very tall, very hard body, crushing the beers between us. It was like it happens in all those cheesy romance movies. Everything was in slow motion as I looked up from my beer-soaked tank top and shorts. I finally knew where the term love-struck came from because it felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked from the atmosphere. When I saw his eyes, the most ferocious butterflies began fluttering in my stomach. The rest of the evening was a blur as I got to know this beautiful man, and I’m fortunate that I got to spend nearly forty years with him.”

“That’s beautiful,” I sighed.

“It wasn’t all easy for us. For the first several years, especially after Carol was born, we were barely scraping by. He was over in Vietnam for years, so I was forced to raise Carol without him. When he returned, she was already four. He had missed all of her firsts. After finding out he volunteered to stay in Vietnam after his first tour was over, even after he told me he didn’t have a choice, I kicked him out. His lies hurt, Mackenzie, so I know how you feel. But the time apart gave us both an opportunity to realize how much we couldn’t survive without each other. We both realized what was important in life. Thomas vowed never to lie to me again. He wanted to be there for all our next baby’s firsts, but we were in no position to try again. We were living in a studio apartment, barely making ends meet. I couldn’t find a job, even with the college degree I eventually got after having Carol. Employers didn’t want to hire me because I had a child. They wanted someone reliable who wouldn’t have to miss work because of an ill child. Things were a lot different back then.”

“I guess so,” I responded, shaking my head. I couldn’t imagine what she went through raising a baby while the father was overseas fighting a war.

“Then, one day, he got a letter. He had been trying to get in with the CIA for years, and had been faced with rejection after rejection. Finally, they agreed to see him for an interview. It was a long process but, two years later, we moved to Connecticut, bought a house, and he began working for the agency out of one of the satellite offices. He eventually started his own private security firm and we moved back up here.

“After he passed away, I traveled a lot. It wasn’t until my granddaughter was born that I decided to make Massachusetts my home once more and I’m glad I did so I could be around for all of her firsts.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, even though things may look bleak right now, life has a funny way of working itself out.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Excuse me, Mrs. Burnham,” an imposing man clad in a dark suit interrupted, popping into the kitchen. Based on his stature, I knew he worked for the security company. Maybe he was Colleen’s version of Eli.

“Hello, William.” She looked away from me and gave him a congenial smile.

“I apologize for interrupting, ma’am, but I have news.” He slid an envelope in front of her and she opened it, examining the contents.

I turned my head to allow her to read whatever it was without me trying to look over her shoulder, but I was certainly curious. Instead, I occupied my mind with my surroundings. The kitchen was modern and homey. It opened into a laid-back sitting room with a large screen TV, and I could tell this was where most of the entertaining occurred.

“Thank you, William,” Colleen’s voice cut through, bringing my attention back to her and the formidable-looking man standing at ease next to her.

“Ma’am.” He nodded, retreating from the kitchen.

As if on cue, the stove buzzed, indicating that the lasagna was done. “Perfect.” She jumped up from her chair. “Hope you’re hungry.”

“Are you kidding me?” I responded, rubbing my stomach. “This little guy has a monster appetite.”

“Well, he’s got Burnham DNA in him. He’s going to be a big baby.”

“How big was Tyler when he was born?” I asked, almost scared to know the answer.

“Nearly ten pounds. Word of advice, dear,” she said, looking over her shoulder as she retrieved the lasagna from the oven. “Don’t turn down the epidural.”

Tyler

THE WHEELS OF THE plane finally touched down at Logan International in Boston after midnight, the end of three very long days of traveling. The drive to the closest airport in Sudan was nearly fifteen hours, then a thirty-hour series of flights back to the States. It was torture. Every minute that passed was another minute Mackenzie believed I was avoiding her. After clearing customs, I debated continuing on down to Texas, but I was exhausted. No commercial flights would be departing for several hours and it would take just as long to get one of the company’s jets prepped for flight. I could use a few hours rest for what I knew would be one of my most difficult missions to date – convincing Mackenzie I was someone worth forgiving, that my love for her was real.