“Do you swear you won’t let anything happen to her?” I asked, my eyes fierce.

“I give you my word, Ty,” he assured me, conviction in his voice. “She’ll be better protected than the president. I’ve sent my best team down there to ensure it.”

Absorbing his words, I sighed, running my hands through my hair. “When do I leave?”

“You okay?” Eli asked, cutting through my thoughts about how one month had turned into three. So much time had passed, the rift between myself and Mackenzie had widened. I wondered if I even crossed her mind anymore. I couldn’t forget her if I wanted to. Her existence was permanently etched on my heart…on my soul.

“Yeah. I’m good.”

Eli glanced at me briefly before returning his eyes to the road. “Liar.”

“I said I’m good. I didn’t say I was fantastic. Just let me be good for a minute.”

He shook his head and clenched his jaw, taking his foot off the gas as he approached a guard shack at the entryway of the refugee camp. We nodded a greeting to one of the security company’s employees and were granted access. Driving the outskirts of what had become my home, we navigated past rows and rows of white tents.

This experience had been humbling for me. These people had nothing to their names. Due to civil war and political unrest, they had been forced out of their homes, the massacre of thousands upon thousands of their people causing them to seek asylum. When they left, many of them lost their families, their lives, their identities. The refugees spanned all age groups. I didn’t know how any of the older people in the camp coped with the fact they would never see their home again. The only thing that got me through each day was knowing that, with every passing hour, I was that much closer to finally being home. These people didn’t have that luxury.

The past few months weren’t without hardships, despite how much I believed in what I was doing. When I first arrived here, I wondered how long I would last out in the stagnant desert heat. But when I stepped out of the tiny tent that had become my home and a little African boy, who couldn’t have been more than six or seven, his right arm missing from his elbow down, came up to me and asked if I was here to help, nothing else mattered. I wasn’t here to betray or deceive anyone. I was here to make a difference, to protect these people, to ensure they had access to everything I had taken for granted my entire life…food, water, education, clothing, medical aid. They would have it all and then some. Working this assignment made me proud of my family’s company. Despite the numerous questionable operations it had been involved in, the humanitarian missions it sponsored outweighed all of that. Seeing women playing with their children, not worrying about whether today would be the day they could no longer outrun the enemy, made it all worth it.

“What did your brother say?” Eli asked, pulling up to the administration building.

We had just spent the better part of the day traveling to and from the only communications center within a hundred miles. Infrastructure in this country left much to be desired, and internet and phones were practically non-existent. I did have a satellite phone; however, it tended to be sketchy at best and completely useless most of the time. My only means of somewhat reliable communication with the outside world was through a weekly visit to a command center located three hours away. It was during this time that I tried to check in with Alexander.

“Not much. He still has Martin and his team keeping an eye on Mackenzie. He’s yet to see any viable threat from Charlie or anyone else, but he’s ordering everyone to maintain their post. He must feel guilty. Why else would he send his right-hand man down to Texas to watch over her? That must count for something.” I wanted to believe my brother was a good person, that he was trying to make amends for how things had spiraled out of control between us, but there was a nagging I couldn’t ignore, especially as the weeks went by and I was told to maintain course.

“And our assignment?” Eli asked. “Did you talk to him about whether he’s figured out what’s really going on with all the shit that went down when your cover was blown? I don’t need to remind you by whom.”

“He still needs us out here,” I responded firmly. “That’s all he would say. That, and it’s not safe to come back yet.”

He gripped the steering wheel and slammed on the brakes. “And you believe him?” he asked through his hard-set jaw.

“I have to,” I insisted. “He’s my brother. Despite everything else, I need to believe he wouldn’t keep me here unless it was necessary. Or else…”

“What? Or else what?” Eli urged, almost begging me to say the words. We had been having this same discussion for the past month. Every week, I had gone to touch base with my brother. And every week, he told me I needed to stay, despite his promise at the start of this assignment that, no matter what, it would only be for a month.

“Or else he’s not the man I thought he was,” I answered softly. “Who I always looked up to and admired when I was a kid.” I shook my head, not wanting to believe the words. “But for now,” I continued, maintaining my composure, “I need the routine. I need the comfort of following orders. It’s what got me through everything with Melanie. The only way I survived that was because of the discipline the navy gave me. Working for my brother’s company is a lot like that. He gave us a mission and I’m going to obey orders. Look around you!” I gestured at the refugees strolling through camp. “These people need us, Eli. They have nothing. If all I do is make one person feel safer, then this is where I belong. Not back home, but here.” I opened the door of the ATV and headed toward the large tent structure in front of us.

“Tyler!” Eli shouted, dashing out of the vehicle and catching up to me. Although he was slightly shorter than my six-foot, four-inch frame, he made up for that in build. He kept his dark hair at a sensible length, the discipline he learned in the Marines evident in his appearance. I, however, kept my sun-lightened hair somewhat unkempt. If I remembered to shave once, it was a good week. What did I care? I didn’t have anyone to impress.

“Listen, I understand following orders,” he continued. “But, at some point, you need to forget about doing what you’re told is right and do what’s right for you. From where I’m standing, you’re turning a blind eye to what your brother’s doing so you don’t have to face your problem. That’s what you did with Melanie…”

“What?” I hissed, my green eyes growing wide in shock. Eli had never been one to question following orders. In fact, he had always adhered to a strict code of ethics, but our history predated him working for the security company. I supposed his loyalty to me outweighed that to his job. “I didn’t–”

“Yes, you did! You just admitted it! After she died, you ran. You went into the navy so you didn’t have to deal with your grief! I get it, Tyler. Believe me. After my father died in the line of duty, I was so fucking angry. I hated that he lost his life to save some sorority girl.”

I nodded, remembering that case. It was splashed all over the news. I was a junior in college, and Eli was starting his third year with the Marines when the case that rocked our city for years finally came to a bloody end. Eli’s dad was a homicide detective and brought the man responsible for brutally assaulting and murdering over a dozen college females to justice. Sadly, Eli’s father sacrificed his life to save that of the man’s last victim. Eli had to sit in court nearly every day as he stared at the girl who survived, wondering whether her life was more valuable than his father’s.

“I couldn’t bear being around town because, everywhere I went, I was faced with a reminder of what he gave his life for. I ran back to the Marines, even after they offered to give me an honorable discharge to be with my family. You’re doing the same thing, Ty! You’ve never allowed your scars to heal. At some point, it will all become too much and you’ll bury yourself in your guilt. That’s why you’re happy to stay here and help all these people, but not because you genuinely want to. You’re trying to bury your guilt in all the good you’ve been doing, but you can’t hide it forever. You can’t run away from your mistakes for the rest of your life. You need closure.”