Not gone. Postponed.

If I could somehow stay in school, one day I’d buy the best that money had to offer. One day, I’d make Jane proud. I’d make me proud. Bryce said I’d be a lousy lawyer because I had standards. I disagreed.

“Chels?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I can do it? Can I be a good attorney?”

“Hell yes!”

I pulled the phone away from my ear as a smile curved my now-stained lips. “Bryce said I’d be a bad one. My mother doesn’t want me to ever practice. And then there was the senator.” My whole body shivered. “I don’t know if I can do the good-ole-boy thing.”

“Honey,” she said, her tone mellowed, “they screwed you. Your family royally screwed you, and not the oh-that-was-fun kind of way.”

“I do like that way better.”

Chelsea laughed.

The label of the large bottle of wine caught my eye. Under the large drawing of a foot, I read the words California Wine. Despite my emotional breakdown, my thoughts went to Nox and my smile grew.

“I know you do,” she said. “You could always give Mr. Handsome a call. Maybe he knows someone. We never figured out whom he worked for. Maybe he has some New York connections?”

I shook my head. “Let me get right on that. Hi, remember me? Charli? Well, first, that’s not my name, and, oh yes, my whole life was just flushed down the toilet. I didn’t call you when I was financially solvent, but now that I’m penniless, can you help me out?”

“You’re making it sound like it’s a bad idea.”

“It’s a very bad idea. If, and I mean if, I ever see him again, the last thing I want him to think is that I’m needy.” I lay back against the headboard. “I hate being needy. Alexandria was needy…”

“Babe, you’re going to do this. I know you are. First, you’re not penniless. You have a full jar of those in your room. Second, you created Alex and Charli. You will…”

I closed my eyes and listened as Chelsea gave me the pep talk I needed. However, the person I was seeing behind my closed lids wasn’t my best friend. The person who I saw had the palest blue eyes and chiseled jaw. He had hands that were strong but gentle. He wore the sexiest cologne, yet filled a room with the sweet aroma of musk and desire.

I didn’t want to think about Nox, remember him, or dream of him. It just happened. Seeing California wines or the course number 101 made my insides tighten. Hell, just touching the high heels that had adorned the dashboard of the Boxster brought me to near orgasm. My vibrator had burned through more batteries than I cared to admit since we left Del Mar.

Nox was a piece of my history, my past, and I had come to terms with that. In a way, that made him better. We’d never have a first real fight. We’d never betray one another or end up in a sad relationship like my mother and Alton. Nox would always and forever be my prince.

Thinking about him was better than thinking about my family.

“What are you going to do?”

Chelsea’s question snapped me back to reality. “I don’t know. I was wondering if I could ask you a big favor.”

“Whatever you want, you’ve got it. Do you want me to sell blood? I’m there for you. Eggs? I heard you can make a lot doing that.”

“Stop,” I said with a giggle. “It’s not quite that dramatic. No selling. I draw the line at prostitution. No, it’s just that I don’t have my ticket for Palo Alto. The movers are scheduled to get my stuff on Thursday. I’ve already paid them so I know they’re coming. It might be better financially for me to go straight to New York. My mother mentioned that my cousin Patrick lives in Manhattan. I’m not sure where, but I’ve been thinking I could call him. If he’ll let me bunk with him until my apartment is ready… then maybe…”

“I was listening. I really was. What was your question?”

“Will you pack the rest of my stuff?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure I can be trusted with your shoes.”

I took a deep breath. “I love you, I really do. But if you touch the black Louboutins, I will have to kill you.”

“No way. After what happened in those babies, I think you should consider putting them in some kind of glass case—you know, like the museums have?”

“So?”

“Yes, I’ll pack. First, call Patrick and be sure the plan’s a go. If it is, I’m going to miss your face. And I’m not leaving you alone in New York. We’re going to see each other again.”

“I love you, sister.” She was the sister I never had.

“Back atcha. Text me. Tell me what’s happening.”

“I will.”

Just saying my plan out loud gave it strength. Alton and Adelaide expected me to submit to their plan. They thought I’d fold. I’m not folding, not without a fight.

I’d already paid the deposit and first month’s rent on my apartment’s lease, but maybe if Patrick had room… I knew my chances were slim. I wouldn’t have had an extra room. The one-bedroom apartment I rented on the Upper West Side was nearly three thousand a month. That was for one bedroom, a living room, galley kitchen, and small bathroom. Square footage was extremely expensive in Manhattan. Not many people had extra bedrooms. Then again, in order to keep my dream alive, I’d sleep on a couch for three years.

Taking another drink of my California wine, I scrolled through my contacts. I hadn’t seen Patrick since Christmas of my senior year at the academy. At that time he was a junior at Pratt. I thought I remembered hearing that he’d returned to Savannah for graduate school. That was why I was surprised when Mother mentioned he was back in Manhattan. I obviously hadn’t done a very good job of keeping up on family happenings. Heck, he might not even have the same phone number.

I couldn’t call my mother to get his contact information, and I wasn’t sure Aunt Gwen would give it to me—not if she were in on Alton’s plan.

I said a quick prayer and pushed his number.

Patrick answered on the second ring. “No way!” His excitement brought a ray of sunlight to my darkened spirit.

“You are still alive,” I said.

“Oh little cousin, I’m alive and kicking. Did I hear you’re going to Columbia soon?”

“You did.” Aunt Gwen must do a better job of keeping him informed than my mother did me.

“And after all this time, I’m going to get to see all-grown-up Alexandria?”

“Alex.”

“Oh, excuse me…Alex.”

I shook my head. “Sorry. I just left the manor and I’m a little touchy.”

“Yeah, that place can do that to people. It has Uncle Alton in a constant state of pissiness.”

I laughed. “He’s pissy even when he’s out of town.”

“No shit! What’s going on with you?”

We talked about everything, except the reason I left Montague Manor and the reason I called. We talked about school and graduate school. He talked about interior design and how he was currently doing an internship with a well-known design firm in the business district. He said the name, but I didn’t know much about interior design and had never heard of it.

It was when he said he lived on the Upper East Side that I perked up.

“Wow,” I tried not to be too excited. “Pat, that’s not far from Columbia.”

“Other side of the park. I can probably see the buildings from my window. Great view.”

“I can’t imagine how much a place like that costs. I have a deposit on a one-bedroom on the Upper West Side, not far from the campus.”

“Girl, we’ll be close. I’m so glad you called.”

I sucked in a breath. “God, Pat, I hate to ask this, but my apartment won’t be ready for another week, and I was wondering…” I let my words trail away.

“Umm, when were you thinking?”

“Tomorrow.”

Whatever Patrick was drinking must have sprayed the walls of his fancy-addressed apartment. From my end, I only heard him choking and sputtering. “That’s not a lot of heads up. Let me… let me call you back.”

The little bit of hope I’d had left evaporated. “No. That’s all right.”