I peeked back into the room. “It’s a success, don’t you think? Good food, excellent music, a wide range of company . . . it might be the best party I’ve ever thrown.”

“So diplomatic,” he said.

I turned back to Erik and smiled. “I feel like I’m the one competing tonight.”

“With who?” he asked, shocked.

“Camille, of course.” I looked back into the room, trying to hide behind the door as I watched. Erik came beside me, and we both followed her as she danced with Ahren across the floor.

“That’s ridiculous.”

“That’s kind of you, but I know better. She’s everything I try to be.” I’d thought this to myself before, but I’d never admitted it to anyone. I wasn’t sure how Erik managed to make me want to confide this in him.

“But why would you try to be her when Eadlyn is more than enough?”

I whipped my head back to him, as if the concept was unimaginable. I was in a constant state of striving; I was never enough.

Erik’s words nearly brought tears to my eyes, and I reached down to take his hand as I’d done in my bedroom not that long ago.

“I’m so glad I got to meet you. However this whole thing ends, I think I’ve been enlightened just by crossing paths with some of you.”

He smiled. “And I’ll never be able to express what a privilege it’s been to know you.”

I think I meant to shake his hand, but we ended up standing there, connected in silence for a while.

“Did you put your name in?” I asked suddenly. “For the Selection, I mean?”

He smiled and shook his head. “No.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged, searching for an answer. “Because . . . who am I?”

“You’re Eikko.”

He stood there, slightly dazed at the sound of his given name. Finally, he smiled again.

“Yes, I’m Eikko. But you barely know me.”

“I know Eikko as well as he knows Eadlyn. And I can tell you, you are enough as well.”

He rubbed his thumb against the back of my hand, the tiniest movement. And I could sense we were both wondering what would have happened if his name had been in one of those baskets. Maybe he’d be one of the contenders, maybe he wouldn’t have been picked at all . . . it was hard to say if the risk would have been worth it in the end.

“I should get back in there.” I pointed over my shoulder to the party.

“Of course. See you.”

I focused on my posture and stood as tall as I could, which was much more impressive in these heels Camille brought me. I walked into the room, graciously greeting everyone with a bow of my head. I could have stopped a dozen times, but I pushed on until I found Henri.

“Hello,” he greeted.

I meant to go see him a dozen times this week. But between dating at top speed, doing damage control, and planning for Camille, I hadn’t gotten to speak to Henri at all. I could see that he was anxious, and though I was sure Erik conveyed everything I’d said, I think we both knew we needed to actually speak, just the two of us.

“Okay?” I asked.

He nodded. “And you okay?”

I nodded.

With that he let out a massive sigh, and the bright face I’d come to expect was back again. I tried to think of all the disagreements and misunderstandings I’d had in my life. There was no way any of them was ended with less than five words. But that was genuinely all I needed from Henri to know his regret at possibly offending me without wishing at all that he could take back that kiss.

Maybe Erik had nothing to worry about. Maybe Henri and I could communicate just fine.

“Dance?” I asked, pointing to the floor.

“Please!”

I was nearly as tall as him in these shoes, and he wasn’t much of a dancer, but what he lacked in grace he made up for with enthusiasm. He spun me several times and even dipped me twice. When I came up the second time, laughing, I spotted Erik over his shoulder.

I could have been wrong, but his shy smile looked a little sad.

CHAPTER 31

CAMILLE LOOKED FLAWLESS ON THE front of every paper and a few of the gossip magazines that tended to equate our family with movie stars and singers. She brightened the mood in the Women’s Room simply by sitting there, and Aunt May came to visit for a few days solely to see her.

I knew why I had problems with Josie. She was bratty and juvenile and tried so hard to be me that I felt like I had to be overly guarded when she was near. But it was more complicated with Camille. Even her perfection was a quiet thing, as if she hardly noticed it at all. So though I really, really wanted to hate her, I knew that would look much worse for me than for the sweet, unassuming French girl.

“How is your mother?” Mom asked Camille, and something about her tone made it seem like she felt obligated to inquire about Queen Daphne. It was the one subject that seemed to take any effort between them.

Mom handed her a cup of tea, and Camille happily took it, pausing as she thought through her answer.

“Very well. She wanted me to send you her love.”

“I’ve been seeing pictures of her lately, and she looks the most content I’ve ever seen her.” Mom placed her hands in her lap, smiling kindly. This comment felt more genuine.

“She is,” Camille agreed. “I don’t know what’s come over her, but she has never been more joyful. And her happiness only makes me happier.” Her eyes grew soft at the thought of her mother, and again I was forced to wonder exactly what was going on in the French palace.

“So,” Josie said, crossing her legs quite dramatically and taking over the conversation. “Any chance we’ll be hearing wedding bells in your future?”

Camille bashfully looked away, and everyone laughed.

“Perhaps,” she hedged. “I know Ahren is the one, but we both want to find the proper time.”

Miss Marlee sighed. “So I suppose in the middle of the Selection is not at the top of the list.”

“Never!” Camille laid a hand on my lap. “I wouldn’t take this moment from such a dear friend!”

Miss Marlee and Miss Lucy clutched their hands together at the thought.

“Which reminds me.” Camille straightened up. “Eadlyn, you have told me nothing. What are these boys like?”

I chuckled. “More trouble than they’re worth.”

“Oh, stop,” Mom teased.

“Please don’t tell me anything about Kile! Ick!” Josie protested. Her mother swatted her leg.

“I need an update, too!” Aunt May insisted. “I missed a lot. I saw there was a fight!”

“There was.” I rolled my eyes, remembering. “The truth is, I’m still getting to know most of them,” I admitted. “There are a few standouts, but things change from day to day, so it’s hard to measure who might be better than anyone else.”

“Measure?” Camille sounded sad. “There is no measure. Isn’t there one person who fills your heart and takes up all your thoughts?”

As she said it, a name popped into my head. And I was so surprised that anyone came to mind at all that I didn’t have time to absorb exactly who it was.

I forced myself to concentrate on the conversation. “I guess I’m just not as romantically inclined as some people.”

“Obviously,” Josie muttered under her breath.

Either Camille didn’t hear her or she dismissed it. “I believe you will find a wonderful husband. I cannot wait to see!”

The conversation drifted away, and I listened quietly. I wasn’t sure if I needed to stay in the room all day or if I was supposed to go work with Dad. It seemed like I’d been doing everything wrong lately, and I didn’t want to add to my running list of mistakes.

And I liked girl talk, but I needed a little break. I excused myself and made my way into the hall, not sure of where I would go. Fifteen minutes. I promised myself after that I’d go back and be vibrant and engaging.

By pure luck I caught Hale on his way out to the gardens, holding a tray with carafes of water on it. He saw me and broke into a giant smile.