To my surprise, Nash bent down and kissed me on the lips before disappearing out of the dorm room. Not wasting any time, I found the cleanest clothes I could from the floor and ran across the hallway into the bathroom. Taking a stall, I changed out of my pajamas and into the clothes, then went to an empty sink to brush my teeth. Running back across the hall, I threw my dirty clothes onto my bed and then, on impulse, threw on a little eyeliner and lip gloss. If I was going to be broken up with, at least I would look good in the process.

At the fifth minute I was back downstairs and out the door, standing next to Nash. He was staring across the quad, watching kids throwing a Frisbee to each other.

“That was quick,” he commented.

“I told you that it was only going to be five minutes,” I pointed out. “I’m a girl of my word.”

Nash opened his mouth to say something but I put my hand up.

“Listen, before we go and before we have our little ‘talk’ I wanted to say something.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for saying… Well you know. I didn’t mean it. Well, I mean I didn’t mean to say it. The words I meant but I should have kept them to myself. But I understand if that makes you uncomfortable and you want to break up.”

I was definitely rambling.

“You thought I wanted to break up with you?”

I nodded.

“What else was I supposed to think? Whenever someone says ‘we have to talk’ it’s usually a break up. Why would I think that this was any different?”

“Because I’m not the type of guy to run away when a girl admits her feelings,” he said.

But he kind of did at the beach.

“I’ll admit that I can’t say those words right now, but that doesn’t mean that I may not say them in the future. I was surprised, that’s all, and I didn’t know how to process it. I’m flattered, I am, and I care a lot about you.”

“You do?”

I felt a glimmer of hope at the edge of my fragile heart.

“Of course I do. You’re a great fucking girl Lily and I like you a lot. My mother died a year and a half ago and she was the last person to say I love you to me.”

“I’m sorry Nash.”

“It’s okay. I usually hide everything because it helps the days go by easier. I’m sorry I acted that way. I’m good at fucking things up.”

 “No, it’s me. I get a little crazy. I told you before… I’m not used to any of this.”

“I guess that makes two of us,” Nash joked. “Why don’t you and I take it easy. Let’s go to breakfast and then we’ll figure out the rest. One day at a time, you know?”

It wasn’t exactly what I wanted but it was a better idea then breaking up.

“Sure, one day at a time.”

I grabbed his hand and let him lead me to his car.

The two of us drove down the highway, Nash humming while I looked out the window at the passing scenery. My eyes were still heavy and I couldn’t imagine how Nash was feeling. How was he still awake?

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “Why?”

I shrugged.

“Just asking, I know you were up late last night and I’m sure that you’re tired. I can drive if you want.”

Nash laughed.

“Do you know how to drive shift?”

I shook my head.

“Well then I think I’m our best bet.”

“But I can learn.”

“It will take more than a few minutes to teach you how to drive. Why don’t we put that off for another day?”

I rolled my eyes.

“Oh don’t give me that ‘I’m so offended’ look. I’m not being mean and I don’t hate you.”

I smiled out the side of my mouth while Nash pulled into a parking lot and grabbed the first spot he saw.

“Where are we?”

“A small diner about three miles off campus. Most people don’t know about this place which makes it great because it’s not crowded. You can get a seat almost immediately.”

“Have you been here before?”

Nash nodded and I bit my lower lip.

“Have you been here with… Other girls?”

He paused and looked me straight in the eye.

“One,” he admitted. “My sister. It was when we were younger, right after her prom. She had just broken up with her boyfriend for trying to force himself on her.”

Sister? She went through something similar to me.

“Oh my god Nash.”

“My mother had already died so I was all she had since she didn’t want to tell our dad.”

I was about to say something but he stopped me with a kiss on my lips.

“Let’s go inside.”

We both got out of the car. Nash held the door open for me and I stepped through right to the podium. Like he said they do, the waitress seated us immediately and handed us menus. She took our drink order and sashayed away. Once she was gone, Nash continued.

 “I picked her up from her after prom party and we came here, I think it was five in the morning. She had her dress on and I came directly from the after party of my gig.”

“Oh,” I said.

I looked at the menu, pretending to be really intrigued at the options, when in reality my mind was going off in all different directions. I was upset. I didn’t like to hear that anyone had to go through that.

“Is something wrong?”

“No,” I lied.

How was I supposed to tell Nash what was going on in my head? How do I explain to him how I went through something similar.

“I need coffee is all.”

“Well, good thing that the waitress is bringing us two huge cups of it. Do you want to split something or have something yourself?”

“Either is fine. Want to get a stack of pancakes and split that?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks for breakfast,” I said as Nash brought me to my dorm room door. “I would invite you in but honestly I wouldn’t be any fun. I need sleep… Lots of sleep.”

“Me too.”

Especially since my test was that afternoon.

“Maybe we can meet up in a couple nights for something? I have another show… Want to come?”

My heart was pumping and butterflies were in my stomach. It was the first time that Nash actually invited me to one of his shows. The other time I just told him I was going.

“If you really want me to.”

 “Hell yeah. How else am I supposed to show off my hot girlfriend?”

Hot?

Girlfriend?

I resisted the urge to jump up and clap my hands.

“Well then I guess I need to come.”

I tried to keep my voice calm, my words sounding nonchalant. Nash was smirking, almost expecting me to overreact.

Nash pulled me close, nuzzling my neck.

By the time I got to the bar Nash was playing at, I could already smell the alcohol. People were meshed together, taking up every nook and cranny available. The air was thick with smoke and I coughed into my hand, my lungs begging for fresh air.

Why did Nash choose here?

I forced my way through the throng of people. Guys were holding drinks while the women stepped close to them, intertwining their legs together. There was more skin than clothes and I averted my eyes from one girl whose nipples were seen through her fitted t-shirt.

She was probably hoping that they would get wet and she’d get laid that night.

I was about to turn around and leave the bar. As I went to leave, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking behind me I saw Nash’s smile.

God he was hot.

“Hey there beautiful,” he said.

I wasn’t sure whether the alcohol that I was smelling was on his breath or if it was just in the room. He didn’t look drunk, but Nash was also fully capable of holding his alcohol longer than most after seeing him drink a few times. Who knew how many beers he already had.

“Hey, interesting place.”

I kept my voice light.

“I know, it looks like a dump, but it’s pretty great. The food’s amazing and there is a fully stocked bar.”

And of course, that’s the highlight of the evening.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

I side stepped just in time as a fight broke out and someone went flying onto a table three feet away. The table broke and there was blood but everyone began clapping. Clearly they were too drunk to figure out what was going on, let alone care about it.