“I have a question, Mr. Secretary.”
The Secretary peered forward with some irritation at this stranger who had seen fit to take his own slow time about getting to his stupid question. “Who are you, sir?” he said sharply, for he had been trained into politeness to the press by a patient team of wild horses and by many past dislocations, which had been extremely painful, resulting from getting his foot caught in his mouth.
“I am United States Senator John Yerkes Iselin, sir!” the voice rang out, “and I have a question so serious that the safety of our nation may depend upon your answer.” Johnny made sure to shout very slowly so that, before he had finished, every newspaperman in the room had located him and was staring at him with the expectant lust for sensation which was their common emotion.
“Who?” the Secretary asked incredulously, his voice electronically amplified, making it sound like the mating call of a giant owl.
“No evasions, Mr. Secretary,” Johnny yelled. “No evasions, if you please.”
The Secretary owned a tyrant’s temper and he had been one of the most royal of big business dynasts before he had become a statesman. “Evasions?” he roared. “What the hell are you talking about? What kind of foolishness is this?” That sentence alone, those few words all by themselves, served to alienate the establishment called the United States Senate from sympathy with his cause for the rest of his tenure in office for, no matter what the provocation, it is the first unwritten law of the United States of America that one must never, never, never speak to a senator, regardless of his committee status, in such a manner before the press.
The members of the press present, who now recognized Johnny in his official status, grew lightheaded over the implications of this head-on encounter of two potentially great sellers of newspapers, magazines, and radio and television time. It was one of those pulsing moments auguring an enormous upward surge in profits, when one-half of the jaded-turned-thrilled stamped out their cigarettes and the other half lighted up theirs; all staring greedily.
“I said I am United States Senator John Yerkes Iselin and I hold here in my hand a list of two hundred and seven persons who are known to the Secretary of Defense as being members of the Communist party and who, nevertheless, are still working and shaping the policy of the Defense Department.”
“Whaaaaat?” The Secretary had to shout out his astonishment into the microphones to be heard over the excited keening and rumbling of the voices in the room.
“I demand an answer, Mr. Secretary!” Johnny cried, waving a clutch of papers high over his head, his voice a silver trumpet of righteousness.
The Secretary had turned from beet-red to magenta. He was breathing with difficulty. He gripped the lectern before him as though he might decide to throw it at Johnny. “If you have such a list, Senator, goddammit,” he bellowed, “bring it up here. Give me that list!”
“There will be no covering up, Mr. Secretary. You will not put your hands on this list. I regret deeply to say in front of all of these men and women that you no longer have my confidence.”
“Whaaaaat?”
“This is no longer a matter for investigation by the Department of Defense. I am afraid you have had your chance, sir. It has become the responsibility of the United States Senate.” Johnny turned and strode from the room, leaving chaos behind him.
On the following day, consistent with a booking made weeks previously and involving a token “expenses” payment of $250, Johnny was to appear on Defenders of Our Liberty, a television program that was a showcase for the more conservative members of the government; an interview show on which questions of a nonstraightforward nature were asked before a national audience representing one of the lowest ratings of any program in the history of the medium, the program remaining on the air only because the sponsoring company found it generally useful and, of course, pleasant to be able to dine with the important weekly guests, following each show, when a special vice-president would make firm friends with them to continue the discussion of government problems and problems with government of a more or less specific nature over the years to come.
Johnny had been invited to appear on the show because he was one of the two senators remaining in office whom the company’s special vice-president had never had to dinner, and the special vice-president was not one to underestimate.
However, on the day of his scheduled appearance, Johnny was the hottest statesman in the country as a result of thirty hours of continuous coverage and he had become an object of great importance to the television show and to its network. Wherever they could, in the extremely short time they had in which to turn around, they bought half-page advertisements in big city newspapers to herald Johnny’s live appearance on the show.
Raymond’s mother let everything develop in a normal manner, up to a point. Johnny was due to go on the air at seven-thirty P.M. At one P.M. she told them regretfully that he would not be available, that he was too busy preparing what would be the most important investigation the Senate had ever held. The network reeled at this news. The sponsor reeled. The press prepared to reel. After only the least perceptible stagger the special vice-president asked that a meeting between Raymond’s mother and himself be quickly and quietly arranged. Raymond’s mother preferred to hold this kind of a meeting in a moving car, far away from recording devices. She drove herself, and the two of them rode around the city of Washington and hammered out an agreement that guaranteed Johnny “not less than six nor more than twelve” appearances on Defenders of Our Liberty each year for two years at the rate of $7500 worth of common stock of the sponsoring company per appearance, and for which Johnny would supply the additional consideration of “staying in the news” in such a manner as could be reviewed after every three shows by the special vice-president and Raymond’s mother jointly, to the point where the contract could be canceled or extended, by mutual consent.
Therefore, Johnny was most certainly on hand to face the fearless panel of five newspapermen before the television cameras at seven-thirty that evening. The developments and charges of the previous day were laid on all over again, with one substantial difference concerning the actual number of Communists in the Defense Department. What follows is an excerpt from the record of the telecast:
The program was interrupted for the closing commercial right at that point, and it was an enormous success. As Raymond’s mother told Johnny from the very beginning, it wasn’t the issue itself so much as the way he could sell it. “Lover, you are marvelous, that’s all. Just absolutely goddam marvelous,” she told him after the television show. “The way you punched up that stale old material, why, I swear to God, I was beginning to feel real deep indignation myself.” She did not bother him with the confusion that had immediately arisen over the differences in figures she had given him on the two days. She was more than satisfied that the ruse had had people arguing all over the country about how many Communists there were in the Defense Department rather than whether there were any there at all, and it didn’t interest Johnny anyway whether the true figure was two hundred and seven or fifty-eight, until the day she handed him the speech he was to read on the floor of the Senate on April 18. In that speech Johnny said there were eighty-two employees of the Defense Department who ranged from “persons whom I consider to be Communists” down to individuals who were “bad risks.” On April 25, Raymond’s mother reduced this figure at a press conference that had been called by the press of the nation itself, and not by Johnny’s team, at which Johnny announced that he would “stand or fall” on his ability to prove that there was not just one Communist in the Department of Defense but one who was “the top espionage agent of an inimical foreign power within the borders of the United States of America.”