“Your body is—is perfect,” I was barely able to whisper. I tried to focus on breathing, because I was afraid I might hyperventilate. My cock was getting hard, and I wanted him so badly it was all I could do not to reach out and yank his pants down. I could see the outline of his hard-on through his jeans. It was just centimeters from my face. Tentatively I reached out and brushed my trembling fingers against it.

Chad’s entire body shuddered, and he threw his head back, emitting a low moan. He pulled harder on his nipple. He turned his back to me. His perfect ass was right there in front of me, and he slid his jeans down. His tight white underwear stretched across the two round cheeks.

I reached up and touched it. It was solid and hard.

“Yes,” he whispered. “Do you like my ass? Do you want to fuck me?”

I licked my lips. I tried to answer, but no sound came out. I was having trouble breathing. I’d never been this turned on in my life. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against the right cheek. Through the white cotton it felt hot and solid. His entire body trembled as I moved my lips to the other cheek and kissed it as well.

“Do it,” he whispered.

My hands shook as I reached up and slowly slid the underwear down. My cock strained against my jeans; my balls were aching. His ass was white, a stark contrast to the tanned skin just above. He had two deep dimples in the small of his back just above where the curve of his ass began. The milky white skin was perfectly smooth and hairless. I kept sliding the underwear down until it was at his ankles, and he gracefully stepped out of them and kicked them to the side. He bent forward at the waist, and I pushed his cheeks apart, revealing the pink flesh inside.

I stuck my tongue into the hole there.

He growled as I tried to remember how it was done in all the porn I’d watched on the Web. I started licking and lapping. The taste was nothing like I’d expected. There was a sweet tang to his hole. It tasted sublime, and I wanted to get my tongue as far inside of him as I could. I started moving my lips and suckling, moving my tongue in and out and around as he moaned. “Yes, yes, that’s it, oh, God, that’s incredible, yes, don’t stop, oh, God, that’s so good.”

I dropped my right hand to the fly of my pants and undid them, touching my own cock as I worked his ass with my mouth.

“I want to fuck you,” I said finally, pulling my head back and taking in the firm muscles of his back, the incredible beauty of his form. He was like a statue I’d seen of Apollo in the national museum in Athens. I’d never thought such physical perfection was possible in a human, despite the gorgeous studs who starred in porn movies and posed for underwear ads. Chad was so beautiful, he was perfection, he was everything—

And I woke up as my cock erupted.

I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes, trying to catch my breath.

The digital clock on my nightstand read 4:45. It was dark outside, and as I shook my head I realized it was just a dream.

And not just any dream—my underwear was soaked. I’d had a wet dream.

I swung my legs out of the bed and pulled my underwear off, carrying it to the washer in the laundry room and tossing it inside.

I hadn’t had a wet dream in years.

I walked into the bathroom and turned the spigot on.

This isn’t good, I told myself as I stared at myself in the mirror. When the water was hot, I soaked a washcloth and cleaned myself up. I hate being a virgin.

I was probably the only virgin on campus. Just like St. Bernard.

You’re fooling yourself if you think Chad is going to be interested in you, a voice mocked me inside my head. It sounded like Guy deMontespan. Take a good look at yourself in that mirror. You’re dumpy and you’re ugly. Chad is beautiful. Beautiful guys are only interested in other beautiful guys, and you are far from that. You aren’t even remotely close. All you are to him is just another pledge he won’t notice, he won’t pay any attention to. You know you don’t have a chance with him—he doesn’t even know you exist, and even if he did, he’d never want you. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever in a million years. You know it. Guys like Chad go for other guys like Chad—you know, like Blair and Jeff? When have you ever seen a guy like that with a guy like you?

Never, that’s when.

“Shut up,” I said out loud. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I walked back into the bedroom and put on another pair of underwear. I sat down on the bed. The voice was probably right, much as I hated to admit it.

I was just fooling myself.

We’d had our first pledge meeting the night before. I had been the first to arrive, and Pledge Marshal Eric had directed me to a room he called the Chapter Room. It was just off the foyer, and as I sat down on a couch I looked around. The walls were covered with photographs and paddles. Eric had left me alone in the Chapter Room. I could hear the television in the main room—some of the brothers were watching an NFL game. As my other pledge brothers had started arriving, it soon became painfully apparent that I was the ugliest guy in our pledge class. Well, maybe ugliest was too harsh, but I was certainly the least attractive out of all of them. There had been ten of them, and every last one of them looked like he’d been an athlete or a jock in high school. Even the ones who seemed to be out of shape had big, muscular arms. I’d sat there, nodding when someone said hello, wondering what I’d been thinking, joining a fraternity. I wouldn’t have anything in common with any of these guys. They weren’t going to like me. I’d been crazy to think so.

I’d kept watching, hoping someone would sit down next to me and start talking. No one did. Some of them seemed to already know each other and were joking and laughing. No one acknowledged me other than with a nod. No one said hello, no one introduced themselves to me, nothing. I remembered seeing them at Rush, but for the life of me couldn’t remember their names.

This was going to be a complete and utter disaster.

You can always depledge, that horrible voice had whispered inside my head, but I ignored it.

Relax already, I told myself. Give them a chance.

I guess I’d been expecting too much from my pledge brothers. This was our first meeting of many to come, and we were all going to get to know each other. All the brothers had made a point of talking about the bond between pledge brothers—but bonds weren’t formed instantly; they had to be forged over a semester of working toward a common goal, and our common goal was initiation into Beta Kappa as full brothers.

That was the most important thing. That was what I had to remember.

I’d never wanted anything in my life as much as I wanted to be a brother.

The night I’d accepted my bid, all the brothers had been really cool and welcoming to me. It was wonderful being hugged, clapped on the back, and having my hand shaken over and over. I had been very careful not to say or do anything stupid in front of any of them. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. I had gone back to the blackjack table and kept winning. I met so many brothers I couldn’t keep their names straight—which was unusual, considering my total recall. I figured it was the excitement, the rush of being accepted and welcomed somewhere. It was an amazing, amazing feeling—one I hoped would never end. I was determined. I was going to be the best pledge ever in the history of Beta Kappa, not just at CSU-Polk, but Beta Kappas everywhere. The brothers would never regret their decision to offer me a bid.

I was going to make them all proud.

When Casino Night had ended, I’d said good-bye and headed straight home. I’d floated up the stairs to the second floor of my building on a cloud and started pounding on Jeff and Blair’s door. “All right already, calm down already!” Blair had said as he opened the door. All he had on was a pair of white briefs, but I was so excited I didn’t try to sneak a peek the way I usually did. Blair and Jeff had absolutely no shyness about their bodies, and at first I was disconcerted, but I was so used to seeing them almost naked at that point that I didn’t get hard.