She sighed. “Egg white mushroom omelet, wheat toast dry, coffee, and orange juice.”

“I’ll have that, too.” I smiled back at her as she took our menus and hurried back to the kitchen to put our orders in.

“You eat healthy?” Chad asked with a slight smile.

“Not really,” I admitted, feeling my face start to color. “It just sounded good.”

“You should start thinking about what you put into your body,” he replied. “You’re never too young to start taking care of yourself. My father is a fat pig,” he snapped. “I’ll never end up like that.” He paused as Marge brought our coffee. He thanked her and she walked away with the pot. “I’m serious, Jordy. I mean, you should start thinking about things like that. I mean, you have potential—a lot of potential, and it’s a shame you’re wasting it.”

“Potential?” I took a sip of my coffee. “What do you mean?”

“You have a good face.” He scrutinized me. “And a pretty good frame to build on—those wide shoulders and big legs. But you’re out of shape. If you dropped a few pounds, ate right, and started working out—and dressing better, why, every guy would want you.” He winked at me. “And no offense, but you have a really big dick.”

I gaped at him.

He shrugged. “I couldn’t help but notice when you were changing. Gay guys always notice.” A smile played at his lips. “Seriously, if you started working out and got into shape—a nice-looking guy with a great body and a big dick? You could have anything you wanted, trust me.”

“I’m not really into exercise,” I admitted. Physical Activities classes at St. Bernard had been one of the banes of my existence there. I wasn’t terribly coordinated, and my attempts to be athletic had earned even more scorn from my horrible schoolmates.

He put his hands up. “Okay. Just trying to be helpful.”

We talked about a lot over that breakfast. Chad opened up to me about many things, not just his family, but his hopes and dreams for the future. I felt honored. He was confiding in me his own dark secrets. He told me his fears about never finding someone to fall in love with, about growing old alone, not being a success, and winding up like his own father. I listened to him, and the more he talked the more convinced I was that the two of us were meant to be together.

And he was interested in me. He listened to my horror stories about St. Bernard, shaking his head at the cruel indignities I’d endured at the hands of my savage classmates. It was nice.

For the first time, I felt like I had a real friend.

And when I dropped him off at the house, he’d invited me to join him on Wednesday night. “Me, Brandon, and Rees go out every Wednesday. It’s so much fun, Jordy—you’ll love it. It’s fifty-cent-drink night at Fusions, this great gay dance club downtown. It’s always crowded on Wednesday nights. Hot, hot, HOT guys! It’s a blast.” He smacked his forehead with the heel of his hand. “We’ll have to get you a fake ID.”

I walked on air all the way back to my apartment. I had another date with him! Oh, sure, Rees and Brandon were going to be there, too—but he was going to get me a fake ID. He’d invited me and wanted me there. It was beginning.

All of my dreams were going to come true.

I couldn’t stop thinking about going to my first gay bar. I wanted to talk to Blair and Jeff about it, but I never ran into them—and even though they always said I could call whenever I wanted to, I didn’t want to bother them. They were both so busy, and I could always tell them about it later.

Chad took me shopping Wednesday afternoon to pick out something for me to wear, and that night the bouncer just glanced at my ID and waved me in.

It was only nine, but the place was already crowded with young gay men. One or two I recognized from around campus, but I couldn’t stop staring. There was every type of gay man imaginable in there. I followed the boys to the bar. The bartender was gorgeous, wearing a yellow singlet that hid nothing. “Get Jordy a vodka cranberry,” Chad instructed Brandon, who was ordering. I started to protest that I didn’t drink, but Chad put his arm around me. I was conscious of how close he was to me. “So, what do you think?”

“It’s unreal,” I replied as a guy in tight jeans and no shirt walked by, checking Chad out. Chad winked at him.

Brandon pressed my drink into my hand. I sipped it. It wasn’t bad.

“Finish that drink,” Rees said in my ear. “And we’ll go dance.”

“Oh, I don’t dance,” I demurred.

“You don’t dance?” Brandon made a face. “What kind of gay man are you?”

“I don’t know how.”

“It’s okay.” Chad chugged down the rest of his drink, tossing the plastic cup into the trash. “Just watch us.”

I followed them to the edge of the dance floor. Someone was singing about a bad romance, and the dance floor was crowded. The three of them made a semicircle and started dancing. They took their shirts off and tucked them through their belts. I couldn’t help but smile. They looked beautiful out there on the dance floor under the flashing lights as they started moving to the music. Chad was the best dancer of the three. The other two moved to the beat but looked a little clumsy. The music seemed to channel through Chad. Every movement he made was in sync to the music, from the hip movements to his steps to how he placed his arms. He tossed his head at the right moment in the music. I stood there, transfixed, unable to take my eyes off him.

He was just so beautiful.

A few drinks later, they managed to drag me out there, but I kept my shirt on. Some woman was wailing about a halo, and I tried to do what Chad did. I tried to sync my body to the lyrics and the music, and lost myself. It was fun. I was a little dizzy from the liquor, and everything seemed lost in time, somehow, as though this was where I’d always been meant to be. In that moment I felt loved and accepted. St. Bernard was my past, and I was never going back there. I had a great friend who was helping me with discovering my potential, and his two friends were nice, and out there on the dance floor I felt at home with all of them in a way I never had before. In that moment I loved everyone on the dance floor, but most of all Chad for showing me this, for sharing this with me.

I thought my heart would explode from joy.

“You’re a good dancer,” Brandon said in the car on our way back home. “Really, Jordy, you surprised me.”

“I told you he’d be a good dancer.” Chad reached over in the backseat and squeezed my shoulder. “I’m so proud of you.”

Whenever I wasn’t in class or doing some pledge duty, I seemed to fall into the habit of hanging around with the three of them. They made me laugh, and they were so nice. I didn’t mind helping them with their homework, or with their papers, because it meant the sooner they were done the sooner we could go have some kind of adventure.

Brandon and Rees sometimes picked up guys when we were at Fusions, but Chad never did. I wondered what had happened between him and Jacob—but never had the nerve to ask. Jacob was never around, it seemed, and Chad seemed to like that just fine. I was still sorry he hadn’t picked me for his little brother, and I sensed he was, too. Every so often at a pledge meeting, I thought about asking Jacob—but it wasn’t any of my business.

And now, it was Wednesday again—and the reason I was even at the house in the first place was to meet the guys and head out to Fusions. I’d been heading down the first floor hall to the stairs when Roger opened his door.

I don’t have time for this. I’m going to be late meeting the guys, I thought—and promptly felt ashamed of myself.

Roger folded his arms and leaned against the doorframe, not saying anything.

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” I said again. “I’ve been kind of busy.”

“Uh-huh.” His face was expressionless.

“Roger, I—”

“Oh, there you are, Jordy!” Chad called from down the hall. Brandon and Rees were with him. They walked toward where we were standing. “Are you ready?”