“Roger?” I wiped my eyes and got control of myself. “What’s Roger got to do with any of this?”

“You two started out really strong, and now it seems like you barely speak.” He nodded. “Did Chad have something to do with that?”

I wanted to say yes, but it would have been a lie—and I didn’t want to lie to Chris. “No, it’s my fault. I chose Chad over Roger.”

“I see.” He looked at me. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you’re not the same guy who pledged the house. I know you’re going through some stuff, but you’re a good person, Jordy—don’t ever lose sight of that. I know you’ll get through this and you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

“Thank you.”

“But you can’t allow yourself to lose sight of the brotherhood and your commitment to it.” Chris shook his head. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t allow you to take a little brother, given your sporadic attendance this semester, but I also think the responsibility is something you need right now, and it might help you to realize how important the house really is to you. Are you willing to take on that responsibility?”

I thought for a moment. “I think so.”

He smiled. “The pledge who’s chosen you is Galen Donovan.”

I gulped. “Galen? Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Chris leaned back in his chair. “I don’t want to sound condescending, but I know Galen is a good-looking kid. I don’t know if he’s gay or straight—you know we don’t ask—but it’s your responsibility to see him through this semester, to teach him about brotherhood and to watch out for him. That means—”

“I can’t sleep with him.”

“At least not until after initiation.” Chris went on. “Sex complicates things—as I’m sure you’ve already found out. I would advise against it.”

I nodded. “I understand.” I stood up and reached across the desk to shake his hand. “Thanks, Chris. I’ll be a better brother, and you won’t be sorry you let me take Galen.”

“If you need to talk, my door’s always open.” He sat back down. “The brotherhood is always here for you, Jordy. Never forget that. Beta Kappa for life.”

“Beta Kappa for life,” I replied, shutting the door behind me.

I stood in the hallway for a moment, a little shaken.

I’ve been a shitty brother this semester, I thought, and I’m lucky Chris’s decided to give me another chance. I’ve let all this idiocy with Chad change me for the worse, and it’s consumed me. It’s not healthy. I’ve been obsessed.

I looked at myself in the mirror across from the office door.

I didn’t like what I saw—and for once, it wasn’t the way I looked.

You’ve been so consumed with trying to get even with Chad you’ve let everything else slide. You’ve let it affect your relationship with Roger, with Blair, with Jeff, with everyone else in the house for that matter. And for what? Because Chad didn’t want you? So what? There are plenty of other guys out there who do want you, who do see what you have to offer, and Brandon and Rees were right. You’ve been acting like a whore, and that doesn’t reflect well on you. Let it go, Jordy. Let it all go. You can still be friends with Chad. You know he’s not evil, he’s a good person—you’ve let everything you feel for him be colored by the fact he wasn’t attracted to you and just wanted to be friends.

I smiled at myself.

Let this be the start of a new Jordy. Recommit to the brotherhood, recommit to the house, patch things up with Roger, and start fresh with Chad, too. Let go of the negativity and focus only on the positive.

I heard someone coming down the stairs at a gallop and turned to see who it was. “Hi, Brandon!” I grinned. “How’s it going?”

“Jordy!” He enveloped me in a hug. “Dude, about yesterday—”

“It’s okay, bud.” I smiled at him. “Really, I appreciated it.”

He sighed in relief and flashed his gap-toothed grin at me. “I’m so glad. Rees and I were both worried—especially after last night at Fusions—we thought you might be mad—”

“No, it wasn’t that.” We started walking down the hall. “I was just caught up in some Chad drama.”

Brandon rolled his eyes. “There’s always Chad drama, isn’t there?” He grinned again. “Well, let’s do something soon.” His face darkened. “After I finish this damned Modern European History paper, anyway.” He sighed. “Man, this is a bitch.”

“What are you writing about?”

“He assigned me the Thirty Years’ War. I’m on my way to the library now to get some books.” He sighed. “If I don’t get started now, there’s no way I’ll ever finish.”

“Tell you what—why don’t you come over to my place tomorrow night and I’ll help you with it?” I smiled at him. “I did a paper on it in high school—I may even still have it on my computer. I mean, I won’t let you plagiarize it, but you can look it over and maybe it’ll give you some ideas on how to do yours.”

“Seriously?” He stared at me. “You’d do that?”

“Of course I would.”

He grabbed me in a bear hug, lifted me, and spun me around. “Dude, you’re the best!” He kissed me on the cheek and set me down. “Okay, I’ll come by tomorrow night around six, is that cool?”

I nodded, and grinned as he ran down the hallway and out into the parking lot.

I felt better already.

I walked down the hallway and paused in front of Roger’s door. Why the hell not? I said to myself. Might as well get started making amends—there’s no time like the present. I started knocking.

There was no answer. I tried again, and then shrugged. I can catch up to him later.

I walked out the back door. Some of the brothers were playing basketball at the far end of the parking lot. I walked over to my car, and was about to unlock it when one of them yelled, “Hey, Jordy!”

I stopped and saw Chad walking toward me. He was drenched in sweat and wasn’t wearing a shirt. The sunlight gleamed on his wet torso. He was wearing a pair of long gray fleece shorts that almost reached his knees. In spite of myself, I felt a stirring in my groin.

Down, boy, I said to myself. Out with the negative, in with the positive. A fresh start with everyone, right?

“Hi, Chad.” I grinned at him. “What’s up?”

“I’m so glad to see you,” he said, slightly out of breath. “I wanted to call you later. I owe you an apology.”

“Really? For what?” I replied, thinking, See? When you start thinking positive and get rid of the negative energy, everything starts getting better.

“I was kind of bitchy to you last night,” he said, running a hand through his hair. Drops of sweat flew as he shook his head from side to side. “About Dante, I mean.”

I waved my hand. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“No, I do,” he went on. “I mean, obviously Dante was using you to try to make me jealous, and I took it all out on you. I mean, it wasn’t your fault he was acting so junior high.”

“It’s okay, really, Chad—”

He laughed. “I can’t believe I let him get to me that way.” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what I ever saw in him. I mean, really.” He tossed his head. “And it was so obvious—I mean, like he would ever be interested in someone like you.”

It was like being slapped across the face. I froze but somehow managed to keep my face neutral. I didn’t say a word.

He looked at me. “You know what I meant,” he said, nonchalantly dismissing his hateful words.

“Yes.” I smiled. “I know exactly what you meant. Thanks for the apology.” I turned and clicked my key fob to unlock the car. “I’ve got to run. I’m going to be late for my trainer.”

“I’ll call you later!”

I started the car, then backed out of the spot. I shifted the car into drive. He was still standing where I’d left him. He shrugged and started walking back to the basketball game. I sat there, my car idling, and watched him walking. But rather than admiring the muscles in his back, or fantasizing about his ass, I thought, I could run him down right now.