She couldn't breathe.
The panic was rising within her, her heart pounding painfully.
The impression of closeness was overpowering.
"No!" She turned on her heel and bolted out of the tent, almost colliding with Said. The air outside was hot, too, but not smotheringly oppressive. She gasped frantically.
"You're pale." Said was beside her. "Are you ill?"
Tess shook her head, trying to stop the shudders racking her. "I can't stay in the tent. Where did they put Pavda?"
Said nodded to an enclosure a few yards distant. "Shall I get the majiron?"
"No, of course not." She moved away from the tent, trying to ignore the eyes of the women staring at her. "I'll be all right soon. I just need to get away from here. I'll go for a ride and—"
"I'll get the horses."
"No argument, Said? Aren't you going to say such an action wouldn't be fitting?"
He shook his head. "Sometimes it is necessary to break with custom. I know these past days have not been easy for you."
She gazed at him in surprise.
"I know of a small oasis within two miles of here. You can sit and become serene, and I will play my flute." He paused. "If you will permit?"
A sudden surge of affection coursed through her as she looked at his concerned expression. Said still didn't approve of many of her actions, but over the last weeks they had begun to understand and accept each other. "I'll be happy to have your company, Said."
* * *
The moon had risen when Tess saw a lone rider approaching the oasis. Galen.
She glanced at Said, who was sitting on a folded blanket under a palm tree a few yards away from the one against which she was leaning. "I suppose you sent someone to tell him where we were going?"
"It was only courtesy, Majira." He began playing his flute again.
She should have thought to do that herself, but she had been desperate to get away from that tent… from all the pitifully staring eyes of the women. Besides, she had been sure Galen's discussions with the sheikh would last well into the night as they usually did.
Galen reined up beside Pavda and slid from Selik's back. Was he angry? She couldn't tell; his expression was hidden in the shadows of the palm trees.
She straightened. "Did the talks go well?"
"Well enough." He strode over and knelt beside her. "How are you?"
"There's nothing wrong with me. I just wanted to get away from—" She broke off. "I'm better now. We can go back to the encampment."
"Presently." He sat down beside her and called to Said, "Go back and present my apologies to the sheikh. Tell him the majira is ill, and I won't be able to meet with him until morning."
"No! I told you I wasn't ill. I'll be—"
But Said was ignoring her protest and already striding toward his horse. Tess turned quickly to Galen. "Don't be foolish. The sheikh already thinks you're weak to pamper me. This isn't a wise move."
"I don't give a damn what the sheikh thinks of me. I don't stand or fall by any man's opinion."
"But the unity of Sedikhan might. I have no intention of having you fail to reach your goal after all I've gone through these last two months." She got to her knees on the blanket. "Now, call Said back and tell him—"
"Why? I don't want his company." Galen stretched out on the blanket and put his arms beneath his head. "I think we'll stay here awhile. This is the first time I've felt free and relaxed since we started this journey."
"But the sheikh—"
"The sheikh will think I'm weak where women are concerned." He smiled lazily. "But I'll have no trouble convincing him that I'm not vulnerable in other areas, and it will probably make him feel safer to consider himself superior to me."
She shook her head. "This isn't necessary."
"It wasn't necessary for you to bear loneliness and weariness for my sake," he said quietly. "It wasn't necessary for you to stand and let yourself be insulted and then watch me walk away from you without offering defense."
She gazed at him, startled. "I knew you couldn't defend me without weakening your position. "
"I wasn't sure you understood." He reached out and pulled her down in his arms, cradling her head in the hollow of his shoulder. "I can only fight one battle at a time. Once I've assured the unity, I can turn my thoughts to other problems."
She found herself relaxing against him, the weariness and discouragement miraculously easing. She found herself drawing nearer, taking strength from him. She suddenly blurted, "It was the women."
He was silent, waiting.
"They were like slaves, caged and beaten into submission. Then I went into that tent, and it was like another cage." She laughed shakily. "I think it frightened me."
"Frightened?"
"That it could happen to me. All my life I've wanted to be free, but I knew that women couldn't—one slip of fate and I could be caged like them and…" She trailed off and then said with sudden fierceness, "It isn't right. Women shouldn't be treated as chattels. Those poor women creeping around afraid to lift their eyes, and Dala losing her son but not allowed to have any say in deciding the fate of his murderer. It's not fair, Galen."
"No."
"I always knew it wasn't fair, but I accepted it as the way of the world. Dear heaven, even the priests tell us we must be meek and dutiful." She gazed straight ahead into the darkness. "But I've been sitting here thinking, and I've decided you're not entirely to blame. It's our own fault for letting you do it. We haven't had the courage to fight, to prove our worth. It has to change, Galen."
"I'll shoulder my own sins, but I refuse to bear the rest of mankind's."
"Actually, you're better than the rest. "
A smile tugged at his lips as he inclined his head. "I'm most grateful for such extravagant praise." His smile faded. "I told you I cannot—"
"You're not listening to me. I'm asking nothing of you. It's because we've relied on men to fight our battles that we didn't deserve to win them."
"And you intend to fight this battle yourself?" He gently brushed the hair from her face. "God help us all."
"God has already helped the men of the world. It's time we had our turn."
"And when do you intend to launch this offensive?"
"I haven't decided." She grimaced. "It's a difficult task."
"And it may take more time than you've allotted yourself." His hand continued to stroke her temple, but he looked away from her. "Providing it's the women of Sedikhan you've decided to save."
His words brought pain. She knew Galen found intense pleasure in her body, but he knew her well enough to realize she would probably be a great deal of trouble to him. She was a stranger in his land, and in these last weeks she had found just how suspiciously a stranger was regarded by his people.
"They certainly appear to need saving." She deliberately made her tone noncommittal and changed the subject. "Will Hakim attend the carobel in two weeks?"
Galen nodded. "And probably vote for union. He's suffered too much not to grasp any remedy for his troubles."
"We only have two more sheikhs to visit." She paused. "Unless you intend to invite Tamar.