“I was going to do it. I didn’t mean to cause trouble. But then my mother started asking me questions about the baby and who the father was and stuff like that. She said that we should get something for my whoring.” Her lips tightened. “I wasn’t a whore. I never asked Rick for anything. All I wanted was a good time.”

“But your mother decided the Averys should pay when she found out that Richard Avery was the father.”

She nodded. “It was nasty. His parents said I was a tramp and a liar, and they wouldn’t pay anything. They sent detectives around asking questions about me. But my mother wouldn’t stop and said she’d have Rick arrested for rape.”

“She should have done it.”

“But then they wouldn’t have given us any money. And I keep telling you, it wasn’t Rick’s fault. He was good to me. I didn’t want to call in the police.” She paused. “He finally told his parents the baby was his, and they had to pay for an abortion.”

“Finally?”

“He was scared of his parents. It was hard for him to confess to doing something they wouldn’t like. But he did it.” She shrugged. “But I was six months pregnant by then, and the doctor wouldn’t do an abortion. I had to have the baby. My mother said that was just as well so that we could prove Rick was the father. We’d keep the kid and hit the family for a monthly allowance. It would be a bonanza. But Nelda Avery wasn’t having it. There was no way that she was going to be blackmailed for years because of Rick’s mistake. She paid my mother a lot of money as a settlement and told her that the family was to get custody of the baby the minute it was born. She made both of us sign those releases and denials that Rick was at fault and guarantee that we would never have any contact with Beth once I gave her up. They were to be in total control.”

“And you just went along with your mother and let your child go to them?”

“Why not? I didn’t want her. What could I do with a baby? Rick came down to see me and told me that he’d make sure that the kid was well taken care of.”

“And you believed him?”

“Of course. Why would he lie? He was like me. He just wanted the situation to go away. I signed the papers, my mother got the money, and I thought that would be the end of it.”

“But it wasn’t?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t know I would— Why should I feel like that for a kid? It was all wrong…”

“You didn’t want to give her up.” Eve knew how powerful that maternal feeling could be. She hadn’t been able to give Bonnie up, though she’d thought it would be best for her. Sandra had been surprisingly understanding during that time, and now Eve realized why.

“They didn’t come to get her for three days. I saw her all the time at the hospital. She was so … beautiful. She looked like me, only with Rick’s dark hair. I told my mother to give back the money.”

“But she wouldn’t do it?”

“She called the Averys and told them to come and get the baby quick. That afternoon, my baby was gone from the hospital. I was angry. I felt cheated. My mother didn’t pay any attention. She packed me up and took me down to Miami. We stayed at a real fancy hotel, and she told me how lucky I was she’d been able to get me out of that fix. I didn’t feel lucky. I was mad. I wanted to punish her. I wanted my baby.” She shrugged. “But I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get Beth back. That Nelda woman scared me, and I’d signed those papers…”

Eve was trembling, and she crossed her arms across her chest. “Let me fill in this particular gap. You couldn’t have Beth, but what was to stop you from getting pregnant again? You’d be punishing your mother by doing something that would prove inconvenient for her.”

“I didn’t really think about it. I just started to party again and having a good time.” She smiled. “I was pregnant a year later. I told my mother that I wasn’t going to have an abortion, and she had to give me enough money to take care of me and my kid. She was furious.” Her smile faded. “But she didn’t give me any money. After I gave birth to you, the nurse gave me a note from her that said that she was done with me and leaving town. That wasn’t right. She shouldn’t have left me there with no money and a newborn kid. After all, it was my money. How was I supposed to take care of myself?”

“The way you did. Though I can see how it must have proved a shock to you. I gather that you didn’t have the same flush of maternal yearning over me that you experienced with Beth.”

“How could I? I was too worried.” She added quickly, “It wasn’t that you weren’t a very pretty baby, but I didn’t know I’d feel something different. Not that I didn’t like you. I just didn’t know what to do with you. I was alone, and I didn’t have any money. She shouldn’t have done that to me.”

“And you shouldn’t have done that to me.” She had to control her anger. “No child should be brought into the world because of anger.”

“It all came out okay,” Sandra said defensively. “You have a good life. You should be grateful I didn’t get an abortion.”

“You’ve used that card all my life,” Eve said. “That I had a duty to you because you brought me into the world in spite of all the problems that meant for you. And I bought what you said because you’re my mother, and I care about you.” She turned on her heel. “God knows why.”

“Where are you going?”

“I want to shake you. I have to get away from you for a few minutes.”

“I knew you’d be angry that I didn’t tell you about Beth.”

“Beth? I can’t even think about her right now.” She glared back over her shoulder. “You know, Sandra, all my life I thought I was just an accident, and I could accept that. I’m having a little more trouble with the concept that I was a weapon for you to get back at your mother. That’s a little cold for me.” The front door slammed behind her.

She drew in a deep breath of cool air. Why had she gotten so angry? She was a mature woman, and she knew Sandra. They had never had a relationship on which to build. It was all past history.

But the history had changed a little. As a child, there had always been the hurt, the fear that her mother didn’t love her, and she had been thrown back to that time with those few words Sandra had uttered. She hadn’t realized she’d had two strikes against her even before she was born. She was a substitute for the daughter her mother had wanted, the daughter she couldn’t have.

And it hurt, dammit.

Screw maturity and understanding—it hurt.

“Eve.” Sandra was standing in the doorway with a cup in her hands, her gaze fixed apprehensively on Eve. “Don’t be mad at me.” She came toward her. “I brought you a cup of coffee.”

Like a little girl trying to bribe her way into forgiveness for a transgression. Sandra was a little girl in many ways, Eve thought wearily. Mentally and emotionally, she had stayed a child even though she had been allowed to grow up too soon. That dichotomy, Eve found, was one of the toughest things she had to deal with in her mother. Sandra probably didn’t even understand why Eve was upset. She couldn’t see beyond the boundaries of her personal sphere. What the hell. Accept the bribe. She took the cup of coffee. “Thank you.”

Sandra looked relieved. “And I forgive you for stomping out here even though it was rude.”

“Don’t push it, Sandra.”

“After all, this isn’t about you.”

She took a sip of coffee. “Isn’t it? For a minute, it felt like it was. You’ve always discouraged me from asking anything about the time when you had me, and I went along with you.” Her lips twisted. “I didn’t want to be insensitive. But considering what you’ve told me, I’d like to ask you a question or two. We know Beth’s father was Richard Avery. Who is my father, Sandra?”

She was silent.

“You don’t know?”

“I’m not exactly sure. I think he might have been the artist I met at a beach party at Fort Lauderdale.”

“His name.”