“I’ll do it tomorrow.”

“No, it doesn’t make any difference.”

Silence.

“Why are you here, Eve?”

“I had to get my head straight. I thought I’d better do it here.”

“It has to hurt to see that tombstone.”

“Of course it does.”

“And makes you even more bitter toward me.”

“A little.”

“Only a little?”

Eve’s gaze lifted to meet his. “I’m trying to be honest with you. Galen called today. He’s in Barbados.”

“Doing what?”

“He thinks maybe Bently staged his own death. He’s looking around.” She studied Joe. “You’re not surprised?”

“I considered the possibility, and was tempted to go down and scout around. I decided my priority was here.”

“Galen says even if he’s alive, he thinks we’re off his radar.” She paused. “And he recommended that I get on with my life.”

“And what did you say?”

“I didn’t get a chance to say anything.” Eve looked back at the tombstone. “But it rang a bell. And then I remembered something Jane said when she was trying to talk me out of hiding. She said everything was getting in my way and making me forget who I really was and what I did. That struck a note, too. I’ve been running around, hurt and angry and so defensive I blocked out everything else.”

“Who could blame you?”

“I blame me,” she said fiercely. “I felt so much the victim that I forgot about who I really am and what I do.” She gestured to the tombstone. “I only thought about Bonnie. I never thought about that little girl we buried in her place. She was one of the lost ones, and I didn’t even think about her.“

“You couldn’t be expected to—”

“Bull. I made the choice years ago that if I couldn’t help Bonnie, I could at least help the parents of other lost and murdered children. I’ve devoted years to doing that, and yet I allowed myself to be derailed because I felt so sorry for myself. The little girl in this grave was about the same age as Bonnie. She had everything to live for, and it was taken away from her.” Her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

“And I never thought about her. I had no right to be that selfish just because I was hurting.”

“You weren’t selfish. If you need to blame someone, blame me.”

“I’m tired of blaming you.”

Joe smiled. “Then I’m not about to urge you to do it. I know when I’ve gotten a break.” His smile faded as his gaze went to the tombstone. “So why did you want me to come up here?”

“Because I wanted to know how I’d feel if I stood here with you.” He stiffened. “How do you feel?”

“Sad. Regretful. Scarred.”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means you made a mistake and it hurt me terribly. It means I probably made a few mistakes myself. It means I have to heal and it will take some time.” Eve met his gaze. “But I don’t want to do it alone. I want you with me. Whether it hurts or not, I can’t imagine life without you.”

“Hallelujah,” he whispered.

“I don’t promise you everything will be the same. But then you said you weren’t sure you wanted it that way.”

“I would have taken it.” Joe moved to stand beside her, but not touching her. “Tell me what you want from me.”

“I want you to have this little girl disinterred. I’m going to do a reconstruction on her. Then I want you to help me find out who she is.”

“Done.”

“And I’m going to find my Bonnie. Will you help me?”

“For God’s sake, of course I will.” He paused. “I’ve never stopped looking. I’ve followed up on every report, every lead, even after I paid to have that DNA report sent to you.”

She went still. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“I didn’t think you were in the mood to believe me.”

“Maybe I wasn’t. Would you have told me if you’d found her?” He smiled crookedly. “I asked myself that a thousand times. I think I would. I hope I would. I can’t guarantee it.”

“I hope you would, too. Because I want to trust you again, Joe.”

“You already trust me. You just have to recognize that you do. Why else would you agree to start again?”

“Because I love you so much that life’s not worth a damn without you,” she said simply. “In spite of everything that’s happened, that’s the bottom line.” Joe drew a deep breath and held out his hand to her. “Yeah, that’s the bottom line.”

Eve hesitated, then slowly reached out and took his hand.

Strength. Comfort. Love. His touch was so familiar, and yet it had an element now that was tentative and entirely new.

Rebirth? Maybe.

Whatever it was, like Joe, she’d take it.

Her hand tightened around his as she turned away from the grave. “We’d better get back to Jane. I think she was worried.”

“I know she was.” Joe walked beside her toward the path. “She was afraid you were going to ditch me. She was probably concerned about who would get custody of Toby.”

“Don’t be silly. Jane would get custody even if she had to run away from home with that dog.” She suddenly stopped to look back over her shoulder at the grave she had called Bonnie’s all these months.

“Okay?” Joe asked gently.

She was beginning to think it would be okay. Hope was a wonderful thing, and they had that great bottom line. “Sure, I was just thinking about that little girl. I want to get to work on the reconstruction right away.” She started down the path again. “I think I’ll call her Sally…”

Epilogue

« ^

“I like the name Sally,” Bonnie said. “One of my friends at school was Sally Meyers. Do you remember her, Mama?”

Eve looked over her shoulder to see Bonnie curled up on the window seat. “You had a lot of friends.” She went back to measuring the child’s skull for depth markers. “And if I’d remembered her, I certainly wouldn’t have named this poor kid after her.”

“Why not?” Bonnie giggled. “You’re superstitious. You think it might be bad luck.”

“I’m not superstitious.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’ve just learned not to take chances, brat.”

“Sally’s fine. Her daddy gave her a car and she almost died in an auto accident last year.

But she’s getting well.”

“I don’t call that exactly fine.”

“Well, she would have been happier on this side, but she’s still fine.”

“And I can’t relate to your notion of a happy little afterlife, either.”

“I know. It’s out of your realm of experience. That’s why you’re so determined to find me.”

“Don’t be patronizing. I’m still your mother.”

“Yes, you are.” Bonnie smiled lovingly. “And I understand why you want to bring me home. It’s just that I don’t want you to hurt yourself doing it. You almost lost Joe this time.”

“We’re working it out.”

“Yes.” Bonnie leaned her head back against the window. “I can feel it in you.”

“Feel what?”

“A sort of glow, a serenity …”

“Oh, give me a break.”

“Have I embarrassed you? Serves you right for being such a cynic.” Her glance shifted to Sally. “I hope you’re able to bring her home. She’s been lost a long time.”

“How long?”

“Longer than me. Have you heard anything from Galen?”

“No, have you?”

“Do you mean, is he dead? I don’t think so.”

“I shouldn’t have asked. I don’t know why it even bothers me. He’s a law unto himself. I refuse to worry about him.”

Bonnie chuckled. “You’ll worry.” She was silent a moment. “I have to leave now. Jane and Toby will be coming up the porch steps in a few minutes. She’s going to show you a trick she taught him.”

“Is that supposed to prove you’re clairvoyant? She teaches him a new trick every other day.”

“Well, I thought I’d try. You’re a tough sell. By the time they come in that door, you’ll have persuaded yourself that you’ve just woken from a nap and started working on Sally again.“

“Which is probably what happened.” She could hear Toby scrambling up the porch steps and then shaking his coat. “He sounds like he’s been in the water. We can’t keep him dry. He refuses to stay out of the lake. The rascal’s full of the devil.”