"Perhaps I decided we should talk more about what we think, how we're feeling."

She made a face. "Phillip, I talk entirely too much about how I feel about things. Ad nauseam. I'm not going to put you through any more whining."

"You never whine."

"You say that because you love me." Her smile faded. "Thank God. Have I ever told you how much that means to me? That's what we should be talking about." She pushed back her chair. "And your personal life. If I remember correctly, you haven't had a date since I started my internship."

He grinned. "But I have the excuse of my advancing age."

"Bull."

He chuckled. "I certainly hope you're right." His smile faded. "What did happen to your Julio?"

"Too intense." She turned toward the door but glanced back over her shoulder. "What are all these questions about? Nightmares. Mood swings. My nonexistent love life. You haven't been so curious about my doings since the first few years we began to live together. Why are you being so nosy?"

"You shook me up last night," he said quietly. "I almost lost you. I guess it occurred to me that I should take more interest in the little things." He smiled. "I figured maybe I was neglecting my duty."

She felt a warm surge of affection. "Duty doesn't mean anything. You give me love and that's a hundred times more important." She waved at him as she went out the door. Her smile faded as she crossed the driveway to the Camry.

She hadn't meant to be evasive but she still had a problem talking about Julio. She had hurt him and the guilt had never left her. He had mistaken passion for love and she should have been more careful. The remorse had been so intense it had kept her from plunging into any other relationship. She had been tempted any number of times because she'd discovered sex was an outlet that took away the pain and tension when emotion ran too high. But it wasn't fair to take when it hurt the giver.

First, do no harm.

The first rule of the Hippocratic oath she had taken such a short time ago. A smile curved her lips as she began to back out of the driveway. Not exactly the loftiest application to that creed, but honor was honor.

But now she had to forget about both Phillip's unexpected fixation on her love life. Young Davy was waiting for her and that was the only thing that was important today.

CHAPTER THREE

LORD, SHE WAS WONDERFUL, Grady thought.

Standing there before the elephant enclosure, bending down to talk to the small boy, Megan was everything he'd known she could be. She was smiling and she seemed to draw all the light to her on this cloudy day. At fifteen she'd been slight and straight as a board, but she'd still had that smile that was part mischief and part breathless anticipation. Now there was maturity in her body and warmth and loving understanding in that smile.

He could see how the little boy responded, laughing, and drawing closer to her. Who could blame him? Stop standing here staring at her, remembering what Megan had been and what she was right now. Think about what she could be. Do what you have to do.

"MAY I RIDE THE ELEPHANT?" Davy asked. "I bet he'd like me."

"I'm sure he would." Megan offered him her popcorn. "But I don't think they let little boys ride the animals. Maybe we could go to the petting zoo instead."

"I want the elephant. All they have there are boring goats and stuff." Davy's endearingly hoarse voice was filled with disgust. "Not even a gorilla."

"How terrible." She tried to think of an alternative. Davy was not a whiner but he could be stubborn once he got an idea in his head. "I don't know why they didn't recruit King Kong for you. What about riding the train?"

"I guess that would be okay." He looked longingly at the elephant. "If you're sure they won't let me ride _ii

"I'm sure." She pushed him gently toward the train. "But we'll talk to your mom and see if we can't do—" Swirling darkness. Voices. Voices. Voices.

"Megan?"

Davy was tugging at her sweater and looking up at her with a frown. "Aren't we going to get on the train?"

She shook her head to clear it. The voices were gone now. Strange. No, somehow... not strange. Frighteningly familiar. "You bet we are." She settled him on the seat and sat down beside him. Her heart was beating hard, fast. What the devil was wrong with her?

Mama.

"Look at the seals, Megan." Davy was leaning eagerly forward as they passed an outdoor pool. "I saw a movie about a seal. It was funny."

"Animals can be funny. But then so can people, Davy. The only difference is that sometimes we don't realize we're—"

Voices!

Stronger. Louder. Screaming. Indistinguishable roaring, echoing. Voices. Voices. Echoing. Echoing.

No!

She crumpled in the seat as the pain hit her. Davy screamed.

She had to get up. Davy was scared. Had to take care of— The voices faded and then vanished.

She was vaguely aware of the uniformed conductor beside her, his face concerned, saying something... She slowly sat up in the seat. Davy was crying.

She instinctively put her arm around him and drew him close. "It's okay..." Her voice was slurred. She tried to steady it. "Everything's okay, Davy."

"Would you like me to take you to the first aid station, Miss?" The conductor said. "Do you have someone you'd like me to call?"

"No, I'm fine." But she wasn't fine, she thought in panic. Dear heaven, the voices... What if it happened again? Davy. She had to protect Davy. "Maybe I am a little unwell. Perhaps you could have someone stay with me for a little while until I can get Davy's mom here to pick him up?" She reached for her phone. "I'm going to call your mom, Davy. I must be coming down with flu or something." She gently stroked his hair as she hugged him close. "You remember a few months ago when you got sick? You were great after a few days but you felt a little wonky for a while."

"Wonky," he repeated, burying his head against her. "I don't want you to be sick."

"I'm only a little sick. I'm a doctor so I know things like that. By tomorrow I'll be okay." She brushed her lips against his forehead. "So will you help me by just being quiet and holding my hand? Sometimes that helps to make people feel better."

"YOU'RE BACK EARLY." PHILLIP looked up as she came in the door. "I wasn't expecting you for another couple hours. Didn't Davy like—" He broke off as he saw her face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She moistened her lips. "Just a bad headache. I had Jana pick up Davy at the zoo. There wasn't any use ruining his day."

"You never have headaches."

"Well, I do now." She headed for her bedroom. "I'm going to try to sleep it off. I'll see you in a couple hours."

She leaned against the door after she closed it behind her. She hated lying to Phillip. Since that first day they'd met at her mother's funeral, they'd always been honest with each other.

It couldn't be helped. She couldn't face anyone right now. She wanted to crawl into her bed like a wounded animal into its cave.