But not Dominic, her best friend, her teacher.

The pain was too intense. She had to move now or collapse. She opened the door and jumped out of the truck. "Let's go."

Chapter 13

It was dark when they arrived back at the cottage.

"I'll take the kid and put him to bed." Judd picked up Barry and took him into the cottage.

That was kind of him, Elena thought wearily. He had kept Barry occupied and oblivious to anyone but himself during the trip back from Orlando. What a strange man. Strange and violent and yet somewhere in him there must be a soft streak. "I'm glad he kept Barry busy. I didn't know how I would cope, what to say to him."

"Don't say anything until it's the right time." He helped her out of the car. "You'll know when it feels right."

"Will I?" She wasn't sure of anything. "I don't want him to hurt like this. He's so little. He doesn't understand."

"None of us understands death. It sucks." Galen led her toward the cottage. "I'm calling Logan as soon as I get you settled and asking him to take care of arrangements for Dominic and your brother. The authorities probahly won't release the bodies for a while."

"I know. It doesn't matter. I guess we should give Dominic a Catholic burial, but I don't think he'd really care what happened to his body. He knew his soul wouldn't be there anymore." She paused. "Luis? I don't know. I can't think of him right now. Dominic would call him a lost soul and forgive him. But I don't believe I can. Not yet. Maybe never."

"Neither can I." He opened the front door. "Let's get you to bed."

"I can get myself to bed."

"I know you can. I'll just feel better helping you."

She was too numb to argue as he led her to her room and helped her out of her clothes and into bed. He got a washcloth and wiped her face and hands before sitting in a chair beside the bed. "Want to talk?"

She shook her head. "There's nothing to talk about. It's done. They're dead."

He was silent for a moment. "Do you blame me?"

"No, it was Dominic's call. He did what he wanted to do, what he felt he had to do. You just went along with him."

"That's not quite true. I jumped at the chance he offered me. I was looking for any way I could find to keep you out of that garden."

"Like you did that night when I went after Chavez at the ranch?"

He nodded. "I. found something in you. It had never happened to me before. I didn't want to lose it."

"It was wrong of you to shut me out."

"I'll never do it again. I promise you."

She looked away from him. "Please. Go away."

"Let me stay. I won't talk anymore."

"Please," she whispered. "I'm going to cry now. I. can't keep it back. I want to remember Dominic and do my grieving for him. It's a private thing."

He stood up and gazed down at her. "I want to be with you."

She shook her head. "You can't share my sorrow. You didn't love him like I did. I have to say my good-bye."

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I'll look in on you later." He turned out the lamp.

The tears were already running down her cheeks as he left the room.

Think of Dominic. Think of the good times. Think of the gifts he'd given her, the laughter, the care, the understanding. Crush down the agony, think of Dominic, and say good-bye.

Galen found Judd on the porch. "The boy asleep?"

"Out like a light. How is she doing?"

"Hurting, of course. After all, she lost a brother and her best friend."

Judd nodded.

"After you jumped in the bomb truck, you asked whether Dominic was dead. Why didn't you ask about Luis?"

Judd smiled.

Galen gazed out at the lake. "I would have thought you'd be able to get that sniper before he shot Luis. You must not be as good as I thought you were."

"We all make mistakes."

"If it was a mistake."

"What are you getting at?"

"Of course the sniper could have had orders to kill Luis if he fouled up or if there was a chance of us saving him." He paused. "On the other hand, what if he didn't?"

"The eternal `what if,' " Judd murmured.

"What if you did get off a shot at that sniper before he had a chance to fire his weapon? What if you swung the rifle back and took out Luis yourself?"

"Now, why would I do that?"

"You tell me."

Judd tilted his head. "Hmm. You want me to play your little game? Okay. Why would I want to take out Luis? Let's see. He was a drug addict who had betrayed Elena. Whether we saved him or not, he would be a weak link who would constantly endanger her and us. He would probably be a torment to her for the rest of her life. We would never be able to trust him if Chavez beckoned. Clear cold logic would dictate that he should be eliminated. Is that enough reason?" He smiled faintly. "Not that I'm admitting anything, you understand."

"I understand."

"Then I'll see you in the morning." Judd started to pass him and go into the house, then stopped and looked back over his shoulder. "Oh, one more reason. I liked Dominic Sanders, and the son of a bitch who killed him didn't deserve to live."

Barry's expression was serious as he drew back the arrow of his bow.

"Attaboy," Judd murmured. "Now focus on the target."

Elena stopped on the porch and watched the two of them aiming at a target pinned to a pine tree.

Barry let loose the arrow and then whooped as it hit the cardboard. "I hit it this time!"

"Yes, you did." Judd gave him another arrow. "Now let's see if you can get closer to the bull's-eye."

"Your son's got a good eye," Galen said behind her.

"Where did he get the bow and arrow? I had to leave his in Tomaco."

"Judd made it for him. They've been bonding big time for the last few days."

"I can see that. I'm grateful to him. I've not been much use to Barry lately."

"You deserved some healing time."

And they had let her have that time. No demands. Little conversation. Just peace. "Barry's my responsibility. I can take over now."

"It's not hurting either Judd or me to baby-sit. We like the kid."

"You haven't heard from Chavez?"

He shook his head. "He didn't come out of this too well. I'd guess he's licking his wounds."

"We didn't come out too well either." Her lips twisted. "I'm sure he'll come sliding out of his cave soon and twist the knife."

"Then try to enjoy the hiatus."

She couldn't enjoy anything at the moment. It was an effort to hold on to her composure and keep from shattering into a thousand pieces. But she was much better than she had been yesterday, she told herself. Healing took time. Tomorrow she would be better still. "Has Barry said anything about Dominic?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. Children accept changes better than adults, and Judd has been keeping him busy."

"He loved Dominic. He'll ask about him."

"Don't borrow trouble. Why don't you go for a walk and relax?"

That was what Dominic had suggested on that last night, and she'd done as he asked. While she was gazing at the lake and letting nature soothe her, he'd been making his plans. Dominic loved everything about this earth, and he'd taught her to love it too. She would go down there and breathe the pine-scented air and look at the sky and the lake.