Silence.

I realized then that West hadn’t understood that the baby was his. He actually thought I’d gone and got myself pregnant after I left him. Hell, for all I know he might have assumed I got pregnant by another man before I even left! At that moment though, he wasn’t speaking and my anger was subsiding and hurt was creeping back in.

“Wait, how do you even know this is my kid Emilyn? You left over a month ago. How do I know this isn’t some other guy’s child and you’re trying to get me to pay for all of this?”

Uh oh, “You mother fucking piece of swine shit. It is your kid. She’s not trying to get you to pay for anything that you aren’t responsible for!” There went Harper’s infamous temper.

He let out a frustrated growl. I could just see him sitting at his desk, running his hands through his hair. “Was this your way of trapping me? Get yourself knocked up and then you’d get more money out of me?” West was shouting through the phone and Harper was off in the corner ranting about how to remove testicles in the most painful way possible. However I may have fantasized he would react was not how it was actually playing out. West really didn’t want the baby. He actually thought I got pregnant on purpose for more money. I was going to be a single parent. I hadn’t felt this crushed when I left West that night. I hadn’t even felt this lonely over the past month being away from him. It was really going to be just me and my little munchkin. The weight of the situation was heavy and tears pooled in my eyes.

“No, of course I didn’t do this to trap you! How could you even think that?” My throat hurt from trying to swallow back my tears. I instinctively held a protective hand over my stomach.

“How long have you known?” His voice dropped an octave and I could tell he was trying to stay calm.

“I found out last week. I went for a check up, they ran some tests and told me that I was expecting”. I decided against the full explanation as to why I’d visited the doctor that day. It just wasn’t worth angering him further. “I was just as shocked as you are West.”

“Shocked? I’m more than shocked Emilyn! I told you that I didn’t want kids. We’re in the middle of a fucking divorce! How in the hell do you propose we deal with this?”

“I’m not asking you for anything West. I just thought you might want to know that we are having a baby. I’ll take care of her, I just need to stay on your insurance for as long as possible and then I’ll need a little bit of help with the medical bills. But you don’t have to be a part of her life if you don’t want to.” God, it hurt to say that out loud. “I won’t force you to be involved… I just hoped you might want to.”

“Her? You know what it is?”

“No, I just… I guess I just have a feeling that it’s a girl.” I lovingly rubbed my stomach.

Harper walked back over to me and sat beside me on the couch, taking my other hand in hers. She spoke calmly… too calmly, “West, it’s Harper. Nothing is changing. You and Emilyn are still moving forward with the divorce. You will help her and this baby financially because it is your responsibility. She’s not asking you for anything else. Now, I suggest you make this as easy on her as you possibly can because she is pregnant and stress isn’t good for her, or the baby. If you upset her any more than you already have, so help me, your face will become intimate with my lucky softball bat, and you will learn exactly how I made the varsity team as a freshman.”

I seriously had the world’s best friend. Wiping away my tears I smiled at Harper and she held up her fist and we bumped knuckles. West started to tell Harper that it was against the law to threaten someone, but I knew he was scared of her. Shit I was scared of her, and she wasn’t even threatening me.

“How are we going to work around this Emilyn?” West asked.

“Honestly… I don’t know. It’s still so new. I’ve barely wrapped my head around it.”

“When are you due?”

“At the end of April.”

He was quiet for another minute. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do to keep you on my insurance for the time being. I think it would be wise for both of us to speak to our lawyers so we can lay out exactly what we want with this new development.”

“Sounds fair, I guess.” I couldn’t expect anything more from him. I wasn’t happy that he’d accused me of sleeping around right after leaving him, but I knew the truth. At least now he knew he could take some time to get used to the idea.

“Look, I have a meeting I need to go to. I’ll talk to you later.”

I quietly answered okay, and we hung up. I looked over to Harper. “Well that went well.” I said, shrugging my shoulders and gave her a small smile.

“I can’t believe that bastard thought it was someone else’s. He may not have any tact sleeping around, but that’s not something you’ve ever done!”

“It doesn’t matter Harper, let it go. He needs some time to get used to the idea that he’s going to be a father.”

“Em, do you really think he’s going to want anything to do with the baby? You heard how he reacted.”

I was exhausted and I just wanted to take a nap. “I really don’t know. I’m just relieved I told him and I can start to enjoy this pregnancy. I’m still scared he may want to take my baby away just to hurt me or use her as some sort of financial pawn.”

Harper jumped, “No fucking way Em! That’s never going to happen. If he even tries, he will lose that battle. Don’t even think about that.”

“You don’t understand. I have to. West hasn’t been the same person he used to be for a very long time. He’ll do anything he can to get ahead. Hell he even used me to do it. I can’t not think about the possibility...” My eyes were tearing up again. I shook my head, and wiped my finger under my eyes. I stood up. “I don’t think I can talk about this anymore right now. I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go lay down for a bit. Can you wake me when it gets close to dinner time?”

Harper wrapped her arms around me, bringing her hand up to smooth down my hair. “Sure hon.”

I could see the worry etched on her face. She knew the reality of West being a vindictive person to get what he wanted in life, but she was going to be my rock and I was glad for that. I could—and would—survive this because of the people I had in my corner to support me. I needed to clear my head and calm my nerves. Harper was right. Stress wasn’t good for the baby and I had been under a lot of it lately. No matter how the baby issue with West played out, the divorce would still happen. I didn’t want him anymore—not that he’d ever even wanted me—and that would be a done deal soon enough. My ‘problem’ with Finn was festering in the back of my mind, but for now it would need to stay there.

But damn it was hard to forget about that kiss. That toe curling, melt the socks off you, passionate kiss that I swear I still felt on my lips. He may have said that he missed me—and his mouth may have seconded that notion—but I couldn’t ignore how broken I’d been when he left. The shattered pieces of my heart had never mended because I wasn’t enough for him. Those were the thoughts bouncing around in my head as I lay down for my nap; the very same thoughts that would now take a back seat while I focused on my new priorities. I no longer had the luxury of self-indulgence because I had a brand new human being that was relying on me to give it everything. I may have failed in my relationships, but I was determined to be the best Mother to my child that I could; the Mother that she deserved.

Two more appointments followed the first. One for some blood work, and another just to check my progress and make sure the baby was growing properly. I’d had no further contact with West since that one phone call. I’d come to the decision that whatever was going to happen would be out of my control, and if West wanted to be implacable then I would just deal with it. All I could do was live in the ‘now’.