“A couple nights before graduation, I overheard you and Harper talking in the hallway.” He paused then continued again. “You were telling Harper that you thought I was ‘the one’. That you had no doubt that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together…” He paused for what felt like a lifetime. “I panicked.”

I met his eyes, “That’s why you left? Because you panicked because I said you were ‘the one’ in high school?”

“No. Well, yes. But it’s not in the way you’re thinking. I loved you Emilyn. I was just as sure of you as you were of me. I’d thought about our future together and I knew I wanted to be with you. But all that kept running through my mind was a conversation I’d had with my Dad before he died. Before the accident, he told me about a girl that he’d been in a serious relationship with. He said that he thought he wanted to be with her forever and he’d planned on proposing to her after they were done with college. A year into their relationship—and outside of high school—they started to become two different people. They no longer wanted the same things. Eventually, they broke it off. My Dad thought about that girl for a couple of years after they split and he decided that maybe time was all they’d needed. He found her again but found out she was married and had a kid. Not long after that, he met my Mom.”

“He made me promise that if I ever got in a serious relationship with a girl, I’d take a step back to see if I was still the same person without her as I was with her; that she was the one that I truly wanted. He didn’t want me to rush into something and not experience life, and he said I shouldn’t allow the girl I was with to not know life outside of high school and outside of me. I think he knew that when I fell in love with a girl, that it would be ‘it’ for me. I’d love her my whole life. He said I took after my mother like that.” He was smiling a sad smile, remembering his parents. He looked up and met my eyes, “So you see I heard what you said to Harper. I heard and I knew I needed to let you go live your life. I know you were ‘it’ for me—just like my Dad had predicted—but I needed to make sure I was ‘it’ for you too. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way that I did Em. I can’t apologize enough for how I left you that night. But I am sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

I was dumbfounded. His reason wasn’t at all what I’d expected. I thought he left because we were done with high school, because he wanted to move on to bigger and better things. I had no idea that it was because of a conversation he’d had with his Dad.

“Say something Em, please.”

“I’m not really sure what to say. I wish I would have known about that conversation with your Dad, Finn. I would have done everything to prove to you that you were what I wanted.” A traitorous tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. “I just… I don’t know Finn.” I sighed heavily. I had so many questions, but none that I could ask right now.

“I blame myself you know.”

“Blame yourself for what?” Not sure what he was meaning.

He nodded towards my stomach. I looked down and then back up. “This?” I said pointing to my stomach. “You blame yourself for this?”

“Yes.”

“Why? You didn’t do this. Just because you left, doesn’t

mean this is your fault. You did what you felt you had to do.”

“Don’t make me out to be a martyr Emilyn. I’ve regretted what I did for long enough. If I’d known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have made the same mistake.”

I gave him a sympathetic smile, “None of us would Finn. That’s how we learn.”

“No, you don’t get it. I mean I wouldn’t have taken my Dad’s advice. He may have meant well—sharing his experience with me—but that was his life. It’s what happened to him. I had my own life to live, and our relationship was totally different than what he’d had. If I’d have just done what I wanted—what I knew in my heart was right—I know we would still be together.” He reached up and wiped my tears with his thumb.

“You can’t blame yourself for listening to your Dad. Anybody would have done it, especially after the accident. I believe in fate Finn… what happened was supposed to happen. What’s going on with me right now may not be ideal, but I have to believe that this is where I’m meant to be. Please don’t blame yourself, okay?” This was almost more than I could bear. My heart was breaking from all of the honesty. Part of me was relieved to finally know, but another part was astounded that he felt responsible for my lot in life. Nobody knew I was going to end up divorced and pregnant. It wasn’t ideal but I had accepted it.

“Not so sure about that, but for your sake I’ll say I won’t.” He gave me a wry smile.

Trying to ignore his irrational logic I asked, “So now what?”

“What do you mean now what? You move your stuff from here to the new house.”

“That simple, huh?”

“That simple! I already have Harper’s blessing, and I feel like we can finally start moving forward.”

“I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall during your conversation, just to see her face.” I laughed, but I needed to change the conversation fast. I was too close to losing it in front of him and I didn’t need him to feel guilty about anything else.

He looked down and smiled nodding his head. His perfectly messy long hair fell in his face. The urge to reach out and touch it reminded me of another problem that more than certainly would arise.

“If we do this Finn, if I move in, things will have to remain strictly platonic. What happened between us a couple of months ago, can’t happen again. It will confuse things between us so we need to draw that line in the sand.”

“If that’s what you want, then I can do that.”

I sighed. “It’s what I need.”

“Are you saying yes?” He sounded like a kid asking his parents for a toy at the store.

“I’m saying yes.”

His grin was infectious. He stood up and waited for me to follow suit. When I was up next to him and I was feeling calmer, he said something that made me freeze in my tracks.

“Tiny Girl?”

“Hmmm…?” I looked at him expectantly.

“I’ll follow your rules and stay behind your line in the sand. But the moment you cross that line yourself, or you ask me for more, it’s game on.” He winked at me and walked away.

Jesus H. Christ.

I was fucked.

It had been two weeks since my Tiny Girl said yes to moving in with me. I actually didn’t think she’d agree to this arrangement. I figured I’d have to argue with her and drag her kicking and screaming the whole way. I might have even anticipated tying her to a kitchen chair in my new house until she got used to the idea of living here. Not the best plan admittedly, but I was desperate. Thankfully she took minimal persuasion and now she was in the master bedroom across the hall. We fought more about what room she’d stay in than the actual moving in part. That first night here had been interesting…

“You want me to come right now?” She’d followed me out of her bedroom.

“Yes Tiny Girl, you’re coming with me tonight. That’s why we rushed with papers. I don’t see any reason for this to take any longer.” I was digging around in a hallway closet for a suitcase.

“But didn’t you just see the house today? Doesn’t it take like thirty days or something?” I stopped what I was doing and looked at her. She was so cute standing there with her hands on her hips.

“That’s what money can buy you. For the right price and cash incentives, the seller was more than happy to close today.”

“Cash incentives?”

“Yes, cash incentives. I offered well over the asking price if the seller would go through the trouble of closing the deal today.”