Again there was a long pause.

“What do you mean? What’s going on, Kyler?” His voice got serious.

I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to feel anything.

“Listen, I’m really not in the mood to talk right now. I just thought you’d want to know about Dad. I’ll see you when you get here.”

Finn started to say something else but I hung up on him. I’d already pulled up outside the bar but had sat in the car to finish my call. Time to get good and numb. I jumped out of the car and went inside.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, digging through my purse, trying to find my cell phone.

I was so flustered when I couldn’t find it that I turned the purse upside down and spilled the contents onto the floor by the front door. On my hands and knees, I pushed everything around looking for the phone, but I could hardly see through the tears in my eyes. When my hands found what they had been looking for, I picked it up and tried pushing the buttons to call Ky, but my fingers shook so badly that I kept hitting the wrong buttons.

“FUCK!” I screamed again. I sat down on the floor with my back against the wall. I hit my head on the wall out of frustration. How did everything get so fucked up, and so quickly? I was crying so hard I couldn’t catch my breath. This couldn’t possibly be happening. Ky saw Michael kissing me, but I hadn’t kissed him back. How could he think that I would have reciprocated that kiss? I loved Ky. I fucking loved him to my core, but he’d just left.

It was exactly what I’d feared. Giving my heart to a man and then him leaving me … alone. Granted, Ky probably thought I’d been kissing Michael back, but he didn’t even give me a chance to tell him that what he saw wasn’t what was actually happening. He promised that he’d never leave me, but now he was gone. My whole body rocked with my uncontrollable sobbing.

My phone rang while it was still in my hand. My eyes flew open and hit ‘answer.’ “Kyler?”

“No, honey, it’s Em. Oh my God, Harper, you sound terrible.”

I started bawling. “I feel terrible, Em. I’m so lost right now.”

“Finn just got off the phone with Ky, he said you were with Michael. What happened, Harper? I thought you were with Ky?”

“Oh God … he really does think I kissed Michael. Fuck.” I dropped my head. “How am I going to fix this, Em?”

“Did you kiss him?”

“What? No! He came on to me. I was trying to leave so I could go to see Ky, but Michael came over and was trying to tell me that he’d fallen for me. I told him that I didn’t feel the same, and when I tried to leave, he kissed me.”

“Oh, no! And you didn’t kiss him back?”

I was getting pissed. “Jesus, Em, I just told you he came on to me. I was just about to push him off me when Ky showed up and saw us.” A whole new wave of tears hit when I remembered Kyler’s face. “He hates me, Em. He wouldn’t even stop so I could explain.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. But you do you know why he was there?”

“I assume he came to see me. I haven’t spoken to him or heard from him in six days. That’s why I was going to see him.”

She cursed under her breath. “Harper … Kyler’s dad died this afternoon.”

Oh no. No no no …

“He did?” I whispered. “Oh God. I think I’ve totally fucked everything up, Em. He’s never going to give me a chance to explain. Shit, I wouldn’t give me a chance to explain.”

“You have to try, Harper. If you love him, you have to keep trying until he hears you out. But he just watched his dad die. I’m sure his emotions are a bit crazy right now, but it has to be worth a try.”

I took a few deep breaths and tried to collect my thoughts. “I’m not even sure where he is right now.”

“Finn said he’s at the bar. But, Harper, he didn’t sound too good. He hung up on Finn.”

“Not good. Okay, I’ll go try there first. If Finn hears from him, please let me know.”

“I will. I love you, Harper, and I believe everything will work out.”

“Love you, too.”

I hung up and got up off the floor. The mirror that hung above the entry table showed a reflection of a woman who was a complete wreck. My hair stuck to my tear stained cheeks, I had mascara smeared down my face, and my eyes were puffy and red. I went to the bathroom and wet a washcloth and wiped under my eyes.

On my way out of the house I grabbed a coat. The air held more than just a fall chill, and I felt it all the way to my core. Shivering, I got in my car, cranked up the heat, and sped down the road to the one bar I knew Ky would have visited. It had been two hours since he left the house, and I was worried what state he was going to be in when I found him. He’d had enough time to get good and drunk. If he was, I didn’t know how I was going to get him to listen to me, or how I was going to get him to leave the bar. If anybody was as stubborn as I was, it was Kyler.

Sure enough, as I pulled into the parking lot I saw his rental, parked in the handicapped spot. My hands shook as I turned off the engine. I could do this. I had to do this. I would make him listen to me. I wanted to know about his dad, and what I could do to help him through it. But I also wanted to tell him that Michael meant nothing to me. He never had. He had to listen to me. And if he got up to leave? Well, I’d just have to hope I could find some way to stop him. Even if that meant jumping on his back … he would listen to me.

I walked into the dark and dingy bar. The place reeked of stale cigarette smoke. For a small establishment, there were quite a few people there. Off to the left was a small wooden dance floor and a jukebox. Old country music came from the speakers and, in the center of the room, was the bar. Several bartenders were working, passing out beers and keeping up with their patrons. Ky wasn’t sitting on any of the barstools, so I kept searching. Multiple long tables filled the rest of the space and they were all full. One table in particular caught my eye. A large group of females were hanging around it, and they were shouting for more beer and shots. It was probably just a bachelorette party, although I had no idea why anybody would have one in this particular bar when there were better ones down the road.

When a few of the girls shifted around the table, my breath caught in my throat and my stomach churned. Kyler sat at the head of the table, a girl in his lap. Either side of him were more girls, looking like they were arguing over who got to sit next to him. I swallowed the vomit that threatened to come up. I hadn’t made the conscious decision to move towards him, but my body betrayed me anyway.

The girl in his lap practically had her tits shoved in his face, and his hand rested high up on her bare thigh. Her skirt was so short I could practically see her thong. I wanted to rip her synthetic extensions from her head for touching what was mine. Her too-long fingernails trailed down Ky’s neck and traveled into his shirt so that she was rubbing his chest. I snapped.

Marching up to them, I shoved the girl in Ky’s lap, hard. She fell off of him and onto her ass with a thud.

“Hey!” she whined. If her ass wasn’t showing before, it sure was now.

Ky looked down at her and laughed. Then he looked over at me and I saw that his eyes were glassy—he was completely blitzed. I realized then that I wouldn’t be having any special one-on-ones with him tonight. He’d need to be sober, or whatever I said tonight would go in one ear and then … well just get fucking lost.

“Hey, Harper, how you doin’, baby?” he slurred.

“What the fuck, Ky? Your dad just died, and you’re in here getting drunk.” That comment obviously penetrated the drunken stupor, because he winced. “Let’s go, I’m taking you home.”