“I shot one,” Saylor said. First word since Dave and I made it inside the apartment. “I shot one, but I shot Barron, too.”

“It wasn’t a fatal shot for Barron, anyway.” Palmeri put one hand on Saylor’s shoulder. “It was a good shot. The way they were moving around, it was a very good shot.”

“Barron never stopped screaming. That thing got him. Bit him. Had pieces of Barron’s throat in his teeth. Blood gushed from Barron’s neck. Squirted.” Saylor sat with his back to the wall. He looked to the ceiling. I couldn’t see if his eyes were open. I couldn’t tell if he was crying. “I shot that thing again. In the skull. His brains blew out the back of his head. He fell over, dead for real this time. Dead for good.” Barron had been bitten.

“And Barron?” I said.

Palmeri shook her head. “I did it. We didn’t want him to turn. He knew. He was dying anyway. Losing blood. Losing so much blood. There was nothing we could do for him.”

“There was nothing anyone could have done.” Saylor got to his feet. He coddled his left leg, hand covering his knee. He limped away from the wall toward one of the beds.

“Don’t let them see you,” Palmeri said.

“They aren’t tall enough to see inside the windows,” he said.

“McKinney?”

I pressed the bud in my ear and spoke into my sleeve. “Marfione?”

“Where are you guys?”

“Is that Lou?” Palmeri said.

“It’s Marfione,” I said.

Palmeri pulled the bud from my ear and put it into hers. She talked into the radio on her sleeve. “Lieutenant, Lou? It’s Palmeri, sir.”

I was out now and couldn’t hear the conversation. Dave listened. Saylor wasn’t. Somehow, he and Palmeri must have lost their buds during the struggle and fight. It must have been pulled out, ripped off.

I waited, tried to listen, but heard nothing. Finally, Palmeri pulled the bud out of her ear; it dangled from my shoulder. I picked it up and plugged it back in. “Well?”

“Marf’s okay. Holed up, like us. Says he’s still surrounded. He’s checking floorboards. See if he can’t crawl out, sneak away,” she said.

“And us?” I said. “What’s our plan?”

I was only too happy to turn over command. Dave looked to me for leadership. That was fine when it was the two of us, but it wasn’t a burden I wanted. With Palmeri and Saylor, I could relinquish it back to the military.

Then I looked over at Saylor.

One boot. A splint.

I thought about Chatterton when he was in the hull of his ship, talking to his people. The conversation I overheard when he thought I was asleep where he said my kids and I were a liability and was worried we’d slow them down.

I looked away. Looked at my own feet, for lack of anything else to look at. I felt ashamed. I thought the same way Chatterton had. I pursed my lips.

“What are you thinking?” Dave said.

I shook my head.

“You had an idea?” he said.

I shook my head again, just wanting him to drop it, and willing him to shut his mouth.

“I’ll tell you what he was thinking,” Saylor said. He was not using his inside voice.

Palmeri shushed him.

“No. Fuck that. I know what McKinney was thinking. I know what you’re all thinking.” He slapped his leg. “I’m going to get you all killed. I’m useless on the team.”

“No one thinks that,” Palmeri said. She lacked conviction in her words. She would be a terrible actress. “We’re all getting out of here. Together.”

My mind was a mess. I wanted to knock it around. The thoughts that filled it scared me. It wasn’t me who was thinking such cowardly thoughts. Couldn’t be. Survival of the fittest. Don’t have to be the fastest, just faster than the slowest. Dammit! I needed the voices to stop.

“McKinney ain’t thinkin’ about me. He ain’t worried ‘bout us all getting back to the ship safely. Are you, Chase? It’s just about you. Just about you and your kids, right?”

I held up my hands, palms out, shaking my head as if he had me all wrong.

“Well, fuck you,” he said. “I got a family, too, you know. Kids. Two, just like you. But younger. Babies. In Maryland. Right outside D.C.  Don’t you think I want to be with them keeping them safe at home?”

I was silent.

“I’m with the fucking reserves. Got shipped here before all this shit broke out. Some training in the mountains. The Adirondacks. Was supposed to be just for a stupid weekend, and then they kept me here. My whole unit. They kept us here. Called my wife, told her. She was pissed. Never wanted me in the reserves anyway. This was icing on the cake for her, you know. Fucking something, she could throw in my face. I’d be missing my daughter’s third birthday. My other daughter, my baby, wasn’t even one yet. Yeah, that’s right. Wasn’t. Past tense. I haven’t been able to reach them. I have no clue where they are, or if they’re all right. Reports we got on the Capital,” he stopped, head hung low. Web of one hand supported his forehead. “I’m not giving up. I’m finishing this mission, McKinney. I’m getting out of here and I’m done. I’m going home. I’m going to get my family. So fuck you. I’ll go it alone if you don’t want me slowing you down. I’ll go it alone.”

Chapter Seventeen

Char kept Cash close and held his hand. It was kind of like before. Just different. Dad was off searching for missing people. The family was separated. What made it different was Allison. She was okay enough, but she wasn’t Mom.

Mom. It was hard not to think about her. Wondering if she was all right? She couldn’t be. She was one of them, a zombie, when she and Cash left the house. Had to leave, because Mom’s husband attacked Char in the garage. He’d attacked her, and she’d chopped his hand off with an ax. It hadn’t been safe to stay. Cash had been reluctant to leave. She convinced him that the only way they’d be safe was by finding Dad.

She’d been right. He’d been looking for them, too. She knew he would have been and that he would have come for them. That was Dad. Everything he did, it was for them. While Cash might be too young to realize it, she was old enough to see and appreciate it.

Like before, Dad would be back. She knew he would. In the meantime, there was no way she’d let go of her brother’s hand. For what it was worth, Allison held onto her hand in pretty much the same way. Tight. Sweaty.

She hadn’t grabbed for Cash’s hand right away, and Allison hadn’t held her hand until the explosion somewhere in the camp. The sound made everyone jump. There was a moment of silence; either that or her hearing had been impaired before the rolling ball of flames had been spat into the night sky.

That’s when everyone held hands.

Three things happened, really. The explosion. The captain couldn’t raise anyone on the radio. He tried, too. Kept shouting into the handheld and paced up and down. He looked like he depressed the button on the side so hard that his fingers might puncture plastic and wind up inside the thing. That was the second thing. The third was the one soldier standing like a guard by the ship.

That guy watched them. Seemed to watch everyone on the ship, especially the Captain. Thing was, the Captain kept watching the guard. Something was going on, and Charlene had no clue what. Nevertheless, when those three things happened, she snatched up her little brother’s hand, and Allison snatched up hers.

The Coast Guard crew looked busy until the explosion. Once that rocked the night, they went from doing what looked like seamen things –reviewing maps, going up and down stairs, calling out to check for this and check for that—to staying positioned along the side of the boat with rifles.

The paramedic woman was with Crystal, the one from the other small group of survivors. The two talked, and whenever they caught Char looking at them, they smiled. It was one of those fake smiles, an everything-is-gonna-be-all-right smile. Unless they thought Char was four or dumb, then they were the oblivious ones. Clearly, nothing was going to be all right, or the same, or even halfway okay. And a stupid smile wouldn’t make things any better. Whatever. She just pacified them with a returned smile that maybe showed off a few more teeth under a slightly curled lip than necessary, but so what.