“I did. I called him just before I woke you up,” she said.

“We need to see our doctor, please. He’s going to deliver our baby,” I said.

The woman smiled. “What is your doctor’s name?”

Brain fart. I had no clue.

“Give me my bag,” Julie said. I did. She unzipped it and took out some forms. “Everything is there. Admittance forms are all filled out.”

“Mom’s a genius,” Charlene said.

My parents entered the hospital and I walked Charlene over. “We’re going to be going in. She’s got stuff inside the suitcase to keep her busy.”

“And I brought a pocket full of change for the vending machines,” my father said. He took Charlene by the hand. “We’ll be fine.”

My mother gave me a kiss. “How’s Julie?”

“Says the baby isn’t moving,” I said.

My mother shook her head. “Everything’s fine. Go be with her.”

I joined Julie as she was being wheeled through automated doors that had swung open.

Once in a delivery room, the nurse hooked Julie up to a baby heart monitor. We all watched the blips dance across the screen as a roll of receipt-like paper steadily spit out of an opening. The nurse tore off about ten inches of paper.

“How’s it look?” I said.

“The doctor will be right in to explain things. In the meantime, please change into the hospital gown,” the nurse said, smiled, and left the room with the printout.

“Hate when they do that,” Julie said, pulling off her clothing. “She knows what the monitor says.”

I just nodded, helping her into the flower print gown. No point arguing over what a nurse can and can’t tell patients.

We didn’t wait long before a doctor entered the room, but it wasn’t Julie’s obstetrician. She looked at the monitor as she said hello and introduced herself.

“Julie, if I can have you place your legs in the stirrups, please.”

I stepped aside.

The doctor parted Julie’s knees.

I focused on Julie, keeping my eyes on hers. They were open too wide. The fear oozed from her expression.

“Last time you felt the baby move, or kick?”

“Just before we left the house. Almost an hour,” Julie said.

“Everything okay?” I said.

The doctor ignored me. “We’re going to perform a cesarean delivery. Nothing to be worried about. The baby’s heart is beating a little fast. Suggests he’s under some stress is all. Possibly while he was moving around, getting ready to be delivered, he managed to get a little tangled up with the umbilical cord.”

A man with a bed on wheels entered the room with another man behind him.

“But what about my doctor? He’s not here,” Julie said.

“I just spoke to him. He will be here in a few minutes and will join me in surgery. Mr. McKinney, we will show you where to scrub up and change into surgical greens,” the doctor said.

My stomach dropped. I pretended it had not and clapped my hands together. “Okay. Let’s do this,” I said.

I wasn’t fooling anyone. Julie just stared at me. Her hand was on my arm. “Chase.”

“Everything is going to be fine.”

The orderlies, or transport techs--whatever , moved Julie from the bed she was in to the one with wheels, pushed her out of the room and I followed.

In the operating room, both doctors stayed on one side of a drape that separated Julie at the shoulders. We could hear the operation taking place, but could not watch what was being done.

I spoke softly to my wife the whole time. Told her repeatedly that everything was going to be fine, and that I loved her. She cried the entire time. Her eyes were closed and tears just spilling down her cheeks.

When a baby cried, my breath caught in my lungs.

Julie opened her eyes. Her lips moved, but no words came out.

I felt heat in my face. My eyes watered.

Our doctor came around the drape with our baby in his arms. He lowered his cloth mask. “It’s a boy!”

“A b-boy,” I said. Now, there was no way to hold back the crying.

“He’s okay?”

“He was definitely fighting with the umbilical cord. We’re going to give him some extra air, but he should be just fine,” he said.

“Can I see him?” Julie said.

The doctor handed the baby to me.

His little eyes were open. “He’s awake,” I said, and leaned as closely to Julie as I could.

“You scared us,” Julie said. “You scared me so bad.”

# # #

“Chase, your daughter needs you,” Erway said.

I was hugging my son. Holding him in my arms. Pressing him tightly to my chest. In my head, over and over, I kept thinking that everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine.

Charlene was still on the other side of the bed, her face buried in the sheets, her sobs muffled by the mattress.

“Chase,” Erway said. “Go to your daughter.”

“I can’t,” I said, “I can’t put him down. Don’t make me put him down.”

She put hands on my shoulders. “Chase, your son is gone. Charlene needs you.”

He had been so tiny when he was born. “We need to fix this. You need to help him,” I said.

Erway left me. She knelt next to Charlene. “Come here, baby,” she said.

Charlene lifted her head. Her eyes were swollen, red.

I rocked back and forth with Cash in my arms.

“Daddy,” she said.

I couldn’t put him down.

“Daddy, please.”

When I couldn’t move, Erway hugged my daughter.

Chapter Twenty-Five

2120 hours

“Hey, honey.”

I opened my eyes. A dream. It had all been a dream. “Alley,” I said.

The dark room had a trace of light from the hall; it spilled in through a triangle slice between the open door and the wall.

I didn’t recognize the room.

Where was I?

Cash?

“Cash?” I said.

When I heard my voice, I knew. It was no dream. Cash was dead.

Allison hugged me.

“Where’s Charlene?” I said.

“Downstairs. Everyone is. The Terrigino brothers made us stew. Squirrel stew.” She laughed.

“I don’t think I can go down there right now.”

“You have to eat, Chase.”

It seemed like it had been days since my last meal. Might have been. The idea of eating didn’t appeal to me. Not right now. I knew what I needed to do. “I have to bury my son.”

“It’s dark out. It’s late. There could be zombies out there,” she said, and took my hand. “Chase, Charlene is hurting badly. You should go downstairs and eat. Sit with her.”

Allison was right. Of course she was. How did I ignore my daughter’s pain earlier? “Where is she?”

“She’s been sitting by a window. I sat next to her for a while, figured she’d fall asleep, but she didn’t. She just stared at nothing, really. Just kept on staring. It frightened me. I’m worried about her. You know she thinks this is all her fault. She needs you to tell her that it’s not.”

“I did. I told her that.”

“Chase,” Alley said.

“Help me out of here,” I said. I didn’t have the strength to sit up on my own.

Allison led me to the stairs. “The Terrigino’s have been very nice. Generous. Elysia and Crystal have been helping with the stew.”

“You said it was…”

“Squirrel.”

I cringed.

“Smells good.”

“Is that what I smell now?” I said. “Then you have horrible schnozzle on your face. That smells exactly like squirrel.”

Allison laughed.

I tried to smile. I knew what needed to be done. Faking it. I needed to fake things from now on. Half of my entire purpose was gone. Dead. It would be near impossible to ever again function as whole.

As we got to the bottom of the stairs, I saw two things right away. The bedroom door where my son died was closed. Across from it, sitting on the ledge of a bay window, Charlene hugged her knees to her chest.

“Hey, baby,” I said.

Her head spun around. For just a moment, she looked at me. I worried I’d lost her. My neglect had frozen her heart toward me. I took a step toward her, my arms out in an attempt to apologize, when she climbed off the sill and ran at me. She wrapped arms tight around my neck.