“On behalf of my friends and I, thank you for your hospitality, but after I fetch you some squirrels, and chop a little extra wood for you, we’re leaving.” Spade kept both hands on the table. The fingers of both hands. Reminded me of the way a gunslinger stood, hands by the gun handles, ready to draw if necessary.

“You want to leave, really? It’s so bad is it? A few things, then,” Jason said. “Everyone should tell me for themselves whether they want to stay or not. I know you think this is the army, but here, I don’t think you call all the shots. I think--”

“You want to ask each one of them, you go right ahead,” Spade said. “Ask.”

Jason looked around the table. “You all have eaten two wonderful meals, thanks to Jeremy. Thank you, Jeremy.”

“Welcome.”

“You all slept in warm beds in nice rooms and in a safe log cabin. No reason any of that will ever change. Ever. We work together, we unite as a family, and this little log cabin in the mountains is as good a fortress as the White House -- which, by the way, I hear did not fare well during this apocalypse. So I ask you, each of you, who would like to stay?”

I had to look around. I needed to see expressions on faces.

Dave and Sues both shook their heads. No.

Erway and Palmeri said no, too.

Allison, Charlene and I said no.

Crystal looked undecided.

“Ms. Sutton?” Jason said.

“I’m not sure,” she said.

I wanted to lash out, call her a traitor, but was she? The Terrigino’s made me nervous, apprehensive. They were crazy, no doubt. Weren’t we all a little crazy at this point?

Jason nodded. “So, soldier, not everyone wants to leave.”

Spade just looked down, clearly disappointed with Crystal. “We’re leaving, all of us.”

“Except Ms. Sutton,” Jason said.

“No. Including Ms. Sutton,” Spade said.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I didn’t want to use the spot by the tree that Jason suggested, out of spite, or principle. However, he’d been right. It was an ideal location. Peaceful. So it was where we dug, but on the opposite side of the tree, not facing the log cabin.

With our weapons against the tree, we took turns shoveling dirt. The ground was cold and hard. All the rain that had fallen had made the ground rock hard now. Chipping away with a pickaxe helped. The work was laborious, but no one complained.

Cash was wrapped in a tarp, just feet away from where we dug. After each shovelful, I couldn’t help but look at him. The idea of putting my son into the earth was haunting. Nightmares would plague my sleep forever.

Burying a child was something no one should ever have to do. My heart was broken. Shattered.

We’d cleared roughly four feet in a couple of hours. Despite gardening gloves, my palms were blistered and raw.

Charlene and I gently lifted Cash. She held his legs and I had the shoulders. We placed him into the hole, stood around it, and stared in.

Allison held my hand and laid her head on my chest.

We were all crying and sniffing.

It was time to say something, but I had no words. My emotions ran rampant inside me. I wasn’t sure I could speak, or if whatever I chose to say would even be coherent, or make sense. “I’m going to miss you, little buddy. I miss you.”

Charlene sobbed, her shoulders shaking. I pulled her in tightly and held her close.

“When you were born,” I said. “I brought your sister in to meet you. You were just a tiny thing in your mom’s arms. We didn’t want your sister to be jealous. Your mom bought a couple of Barbie dolls and had them in her hospital bag. So, when Charlene and I came in to say hello, your mom gave Char the dolls, and said, ‘Your brother got these for you.’ Charlene took those dolls, and just looked at you like you were the greatest kid in the world and she said. . . Do you remember what you said, Char?”

She ran a sleeve under her nose. “I looked at him and I said, ‘Thank you, brother.’”

“Yep, that’s what you said. I’ll never forget that,” I said.

“What are we going to do without him, Daddy?” Charlene knelt by the grave. “I don’t want to just leave him here. Out here. All alone.”

“I don’t either.”

We were silent while we filled the dirt back into the hole. I tried my best not to think about what it was we were actually doing. As we patted down the earth, I saw Spade and Jeremy approach the side of the log cabin.

Dave and the others had spent a better part of the morning loading the zombies killed from the bedroom window last night onto a wheelbarrow and moving them far off the Terrigino property. To where, I hadn’t a clue.

“Listen, I have a bad feeling about how things are going to go down. I want both of you ready and on alert at all times. Got it?” I said.

They nodded. We grabbed up our weapons and carried the shovels back to the cabin.

Jason was out on the front porch smoking a cigarette.

I didn’t know he had those. I wanted one. A pack. A carton. I’d settle for one.

“It’s nearly four. We all worked through lunch so we’ll have an early dinner. I’ve got mashed potatoes. They’re from a box, but with enough butter and salt, you’ll never know the difference,” Jason said.

“Thank you, but no thank you,” Spade said.

“Still have your heart set on leaving?”

An early dinner did sound good. It would be dark soon, I thought. Almost had to shake my head to clear away the thoughts.

“We are. We’ll just make sure we have our things and we’ll be going.”

Erway, Palmeri, and Crystal came out of the cabin.

I didn’t see Dave or Sues. I checked the woods, but saw nothing.

“Okay, but I must tell you. In order for you to leave, there are two things you need to know.” Jason smiled.

I hated that smile.

Spade took an aggressive stance. “Yeah? And what’s that?”

“The weapons. They’re ours, not yours, so you can’t have them. We’ll be wanting those back,” he said.

All I could think was, oh shit!

Spade snickered, as if he thought Jason was telling a joke. “And the other thing?”

“Aside from Crystal staying with us, so are the other women.”

“W-what?” That last comment even caught Spade off guard.

“It’s the end of the world. It has to restart somehow, by someone. Better people like us--survivalists, than the likes of you. The women, they’re staying.”

“My daughter’s fourteen,” I said, as if it mattered, like there was any chance in hell I’d leave my kid here.

Spade took a step toward Jason.

I saw it before it happened and was helpless to do anything.

Jeremy raised his gun and shot Spade in the back of the head. Spade fell forward in a heap with arms splayed out, blood and brain spilling from the cracked bowl that was his shattered skull.

“No!” I yelled. “Are you out of your fucking--”

I spread my arms wide, pushing Allison and Charlene behind me as Jeremy pointed his gun at me.

Jeremy’s chest exploded like his heart ruptured. He dropped his gun and clapped both hands over his heart, falling to his knees.

I hadn’t heard a shot. I didn’t know what had just--

The upstairs window.

The barrel of a rifle protruded.

Jason was screaming and he started to run for his brother. Palmeri reached for him, tugged on his sleeve. It probably saved his live. Another shot sent a chunk of dirt and crisp leaves into the air. Looking up, Jason now knew where Dave and Sues were.

Like a cheetah, he spun around and ran for the house.

Erway tried to stop him. He pushed her aside, pulled his gun, fired as he ran into the house, and slammed the front door.

“He’s inside,” I said, looking up at the window. “He’s in the house!”

“Crystal’s been shot,” Palmeri said. She knelt beside the woman.