She turned her face away. “I suppose so.”

Neither had noticed the sun come up, but at that moment, Yukiko was bathed in gold: a golden daughter promised to the heir of the most powerful man in the land.

He found nothing to say. Wishes of good fortune and happiness would have been a lie. After a painfully long silence, he said, rather hoarsely, “You are very beautiful, Yukiko. I shall always remember you this way.”

Then he bowed and left.

Chapter Twenty-Five

The Old Man on the Mountain

The day after Tora and Saburo came to their decision to hunt down Kojo and as many of his cohorts as possible, Saburo claimed that he needed to visit the Sugawara farm to look into some problems with their bookkeeping. He departed on horseback early in the morning.

Tora knew he had gone into the Hiei Mountains and worried himself nearly sick. He did not want Saburo’s life on his conscience; he feared Akitada’s fury when he discovered their disobedience and dismissed Saburo again; and he felt guilty because the knowledge of his previous, ill-considered adventure rested heavily upon him.

Even while he knew he should rise above his mistake and bear his humiliation at the hands of the sohei as fair punishment, he could not rest. If Kojo were killed or rearrested, then the bastard would at least be punished, the dead could rest more easily, and the injured could take some satisfaction from it. He had a duty to himself and to others.

Still, there was Saburo. He claimed to be acting on his own behalf, but he had not made any effort before, and his torture on the mountain was by now many years old.

In the end, he tried to concentrate on what he must do. It was important that no one find out about their plan or they would be stopped. They would leave after dark, and Tora hoped their venture would be finished the same night. He fidgeted and paced restlessly, until Hanae was in the main house and Yuki was with the master’s children at their lessons. Then he hurried to secrete his half armor, sword, short sword, and boots under some straw in the stable. After that he could do little but wait.

Saburo did not return by nightfall, but Hanae confronted him.

“What are you up to?” she demanded.

He tried to look innocent. “Nothing, my love. You look very charming when you put your hands on your hips like that and raise your pretty chin.”

“Don’t lie to me. I’m your wife and I know you’re up to something. First you come home all beaten up and sit around looking miserable, and then you’re suddenly different, nervous like a cat in heat. For days, I haven’t been able to get a word out of you and you barely looked at your son when he showed you proudly what the schoolmaster had written on his essay. You’ve been neither a husband nor a father!”

Her words wounded him; she confirmed what he had thought to himself: he was no good to them any longer. He tried a smile and failed. With a sigh, he said, “I’m sorry, love,” hanging his head and hoping she would not probe further. To his relief, she came, stood on her tiptoes, and put her arms around his neck.

“Oh, Tora, I didn’t mean it. We love you. Don’t look like that. Tell me what’s wrong. We’ll find a way.”

He was so deeply moved by her words and her embrace that he almost burst out with the whole story, but he had promised Saburo who feared for his job. So he took his wife in his arms, lifting her slight body, and nuzzling her neck. “I love you, too. More than anything, both of you. It hurts me to have you doubt me.” Good! Counter complaints might distract her.

Not so.

Hanae released herself. “So what’s wrong, husband?” she demanded again.

He sighed. It would have to be lies. He didn’t like lies. Hanae had a way of seeing through them. Perhaps a half truth might work. “It’s just that I’m such a failure,” he muttered. “I let them capture me, and the master saw how useless I was and sent me home.”

“Oh.” She was taken aback. “But that’s silly. You couldn’t help it, and you’re wrong about the master.”

What did women know about male pride?

Tora nodded. “I just realized it myself. I’ll be all right. And where’s Yuki? I’ll take him into town and buy him a new kite to show how proud I am of him.”

Hanae brightened. “Oh, he’ll like that. And there’s a nice breeze. Maybe you can find an open space and fly it? You’ll both enjoy that.”

And so Tora and his son spent the afternoon together, shopping for the most gorgeous dragon kite and then flying it on the shore of the Kamo River. It was most enjoyable and Tora decided that he would spend more time with Yuki, who was growing up so fast and was already taller than his dainty mother—and much smarter than his father.

But he did not forget about Saburo and what lay ahead in the immediate future.

∞

Night came and with it rain. Saburo had not returned. Tora kept watching the gate anxiously. Eventually, he joined his family for their evening rice, but he kept an ear out for any sounds of Saburo. Before they went to bed, he made one more round to look for him, claiming that he was checking that all was secure for the night. Alone in bed with Hanae, who was more than usually affectionate, he thought of their plan and somehow found that he needed to make love to her before it was too late. Afterward he held her until she was asleep. But he lay awake and fearful, listening to the rain.

He did not know how much later he finally heard a soft rustle outside their room. Then there was a “ssst”, and he almost laughed out loud with relief. Slipping carefully from under their shared quilt, he scooped up the pile of his clothing which he had left conveniently close to their bedding, and tiptoed to the shuttered door. This he eased open carefully and soundlessly. He was about to step outside, when Hanae murmured, “Be careful!”

He paused in shock, then said, “I will, because I love you.”

Outside, huddled under a dripping roof, Saburo waited.

“How did it go?” Tora asked softly as they hurried toward the stable.

“All right.”

“You picked up a trail?”

“Yes.”

A strange peace filled Tora’s heart. Somehow, overnight, he had found his courage again. Hanae trusted him; his son loved him; and he was about to get his honor back.

They lit a lamp in the stable and Tora put on his clothes. “Tell me,” he said.

“There’s an old man. He knows where they are.”

Tora noticed how wet and tired Saburo looked. “Are you good to go?” he asked anxiously.

“Yes. Just don’t wear me out with talking.”

“You want to rest a little? Maybe eat something?”

“Don’t be silly. Do you want everybody to know?”

Tora said nothing. Hanae knew something was up, but he hoped she would keep the secret. He dug out his boots and half armor, finished putting them on, and shoved his swords through his belt. “Let’s go,” he said.

They slipped out through the small gate, thankful that there no longer was a dog to wake, and walked to the nearest livery stable where they rented two horses from a sleepy groom. Then they were on the road into the mountains.

The rain had let up a little. Tora looked up at the sky, but it was still heavily overcast. He sniffed the air. “Smells like more rain,” he called out to Saburo.

“What?”

“Rain! Are you asleep?” Tora felt instantly guilty for the jibe. Saburo had been in the mountains for more than a day and a night now without any sleep.

Saburo said nothing.

“Sorry, brother. Should we rest?”

“Later. When we’re in position.”

Tora was curious what “in position” meant but left Saburo alone to doze as they rode.

When they passed through forest, they could see nothing and had to rely on their horses to find the way. The road had narrowed and climbed. The road surface was loose rubble, wet from rain, and the horses slipped now and then. The moisture in the air intensified. Tora wondered how soon the rain would start again and how they could fight in the dark and on slippery ground. Perhaps they could surprise the sohei inside some temple building. He hated to ride into a bloody confrontation knowing nothing about what awaited them.