Not the same person, but better, wiser, more sensitive and empathetic.

Someone who could, perhaps, share his life with another.

There is something silent within him now, and he finds this reassuring, as if a small place has been established into which he can withdraw when the world becomes too crowded. And yet, strangely, he feels this place is too spacious for himself alone.

It is with this thought that, one evening, he calls Maryanne Benedict, and when she answers the phone and he tells her who it is, she does not seem surprised.

He has not seen her, nor spoken to her, since the funeral.

“I have something,” he says, “and I am not sure if you want it, but I thought to ask you.”

“Something?”

“It’s Michael’s picture album.”

“Oh,” she says.

“You are in it, Nancy, Matthias, Michael . . . all of you, and I wondered—”

“No,” she says. “I don’t want it, John.”

“What shall I do with it?”

“I don’t know,” she replies.

“Okay,” he says. “I will figure something out.”

Neither of them speak for a moment, and then they speak together.

“I was—” he says.

“Are you—” she starts.

“You first,” Gaines says.

“I was just going to ask if you were okay.”

“Okay?” he echoes. “Yes, I’m getting there.”

“Good,” she says.

“And you?” he asks.

“As can be. Considering all that has happened, you know?”

There is silence once more. Just for a moment.

“What were you going to ask me?” she says.

“Nothing,” he says.

“John,” she prompts, as if she understands how hard this is and is trying to make it easier.

“I was going to ask if you wouldn’t like to . . . maybe, I don’t know, maybe—”

“Ask me, John,” she says.

“I was wondering if you would like to perhaps go out sometime. We could have dinner or something. We could just talk, you know? Just talk for a while and see—”

“It’s okay, John. You’ve asked me. You don’t need to say anything else.”

“Okay,” he says. “Sorry, I was just—”

“I know,” she says, and he can hear a smile in her voice.

“So?” he says.

“I’ll have to see,” she says. “I’ll have to check my calendar.”

He hesitates. “Oh,” he says. “Okay. Yes. Check your calendar.”

He hears her laughing before he has finished talking.

“I am teasing you, John,” she says. “Of course we can go out. We can go out, and we can have some dinner, and we can talk. We can do whatever we want.”

He smiles. “Okay,” he says. “Good. Thank you.”

“Friday evening,” she says. “Come and get me at seven.”

“I will,” he says. “Friday at seven.”

“Until then,” she says.

“Yes, Maryanne, until then.”

She hangs up.

Gaines stands there for a little while, and then he hangs up, too.

In the kitchen, he pours himself a drink, and then he returns to the back porch and watches as the last ghosts of color fade behind the distant trees.

He knows that he will never forget the war.

He knows that he will never forget his mother.

But maybe one day he will forget Nancy Denton and all that happened here.

There is silence in his thoughts, perhaps for the first time in his life.

He does not hear the distant chatter of CH-47s, the crack and whip and drumroll of the 105s and the Vulcans, nor Charlie’s 51 cals and 82mm mortars.

He does not hear the relentless rain as it hammers down to earth. He does not feel the ground swelling beneath his feet. He does not feel as if he is being watched from the shadows.

He hears the sound of his own heart, feels the pressure of blood in his veins, and he knows he can make it.

After all that has happened, he can make it.

One day his life will perhaps turn full circle, and he will remember what it was to be a child, and he will know how it is to love and to be loved, and there will be things that make sense and things that do not make sense but they will not matter.

One day, perhaps, he will see it all for what it is . . . a circle, a wheel, something with neither beginning nor end . . . like the snake that devoured its own tail, and finally, irrevocably, disappeared.

Bright lights hide dark truths

The powerful new thriller from R.J. Ellory

Available in Orion Hardback and eBook

May 2014

By R.J. Ellory

NOVELS

Candlemoth

Ghostheart

A Quiet Vendetta

City of lies

A Quiet Belief in Angels

A Simple Act of Violence

The Anniversary Man

Saints of New York

Bad Signs

A Dark and Broken Heart

The Devil and the River

NOVELLAS

Three Days in Chicagoland:

1. The Sister

2. The Cop

3. The Killer

R.J. Ellory is the author of eleven novels including the bestselling A Quiet Belief in Angels, which was a Richard & Judy Book Club selection and won the Nouvel observateur Crime Fiction Prize in 2008, and A Simple Act of Violence, which was the 2010 winner of the old Peculier Crime Novel of the Year. A Quiet Belief in Angels has also been optioned for film, and Ellory has written the screenplay for its oscar-winning French director, olivier Dahan.

R.J. Ellory’s other novels have been translated into twenty-five languages, and he has won the USA Excellence Award for Best Mystery, the Strand Magazine Best Thriller 2009, the Quebec laureat, the livre de Poche Award, and the Readers’ Prize for the Festivals of St. Maur and Avignon. He has been shortlisted for a further twelve awards in numerous countries and four Daggers from the UK Crime Writers’ Association.

Despite the American settings of his novels, Ellory is British and currently lives in England with his wife and son. To find out more visit www.rjellory.com

Copyright

An Orion ebook

First published in Great Britain in 2013 by Orion Books

Ebook first published in 2013 by Orion Books

This updated ebook published in 2014 by Orion Books

© Roger Jon Ellory 2013

The right of Roger Jon Ellory to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

All the characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN: 978-1-4091-2419-1

The Orion Publishing Group Ltd

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