I get out of the car and Lana herself opens the tall front door. She comes down the steps and taking me by the hand leads me into the house. I look around me, dazed. It is as beautiful as a palace. Even in the daytime a massive chandelier, hanging from the lofty ceiling, is blazing with light, and the floor is gleaming like a mirror. She takes me into a sumptuous sitting room full of all the usual trappings of wealth, but I am too upset to pay any attention to them. Sorab’s toys and a coloring book are on the floor. As if he had been there moments ago.

‘Come sit down,’ she says.

‘Where’s Sorab?’

‘Gerry’s taken him outside for a bit. Thought you might like some privacy.’

I nod. A woman in a black and white uniform comes in. She smiles and nods in a friendly fashion.

‘Do you want anything to drink or eat?’ Lana asks me.

I shake my head mutely. Any food would make me hurl.

The woman nods silently and leaves. Lana guides me to a deep sofa and sits beside me. ‘What’s the matter, Julie?’

I look into her beautiful face, take a deep breath and say, ‘I’ve hated you for years.’

She moves back as if struck, her hands falling away from mine with shock.

I plough on. ‘And I’ve been envious of you for even longer. You see, I fancied I was in love with Jack but he only wanted you, so I was jealous, rabidly so. I think I also became a bit obsessed with you. When I was younger I even sometimes prayed that you would drop dead.’

‘Oh.’

‘And that’s not all. When I came to your apartment the last time, I looked at the notes beside your laptop, and on your wedding day I went into your room and read your diary. And I’m really, really sorry because I realize that you’ve never been anything but good to me and I‘ve been such a selfish, shallow bitch.’

She clasps her hands in her lap and for a moment says nothing, and then she looks up at me, her eyes are twinkling. ‘Did you read anything interesting in my diary?’

I smile tremulously. ‘I didn’t get a chance to read too much. You came back into the room.’

‘And you hid in the cupboard.’

I gasp. ‘You knew?’

‘A wisp of your dress was trapped at the bottom of the cupboard door. It could only have been you or Billie. I kinda figured it was you. Billie would have chosen to dive under the bed.’

I laugh then. Not a happy laugh, but a relieved laugh. I should have done this years ago. Unburdened myself. It feels so damn good. I finally feel clean.

‘Now tell me what is wrong?’

‘Just now, when you went to see Vann, I was not going, but coming. I sneaked in after you and listened to your conversation.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know. It was crazy but I thought you were having an affair with Vann.’

Lana stares at me speechlessly.

‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I know you love Blake to bits. Anyway, I confessed to Vann that I am in love with him, but he refused to believe me. He thought I was saying it because I had just found out he was a Barrington. He’d come upon us talking at your wedding reception, and heard me refer to him as a Barrington family servant so he refused to believe I could be in love with him if he wasn’t rich. But I swear it on my life, Lana, I don’t care whether he is a billionaire or hasn’t got a pot to piss in. I truly love him.’

‘When did you find out you loved him?’

‘I knew I was in love with him when I went to Jack’s mum’s house this afternoon and asked him to kiss me as an experiment… And felt absolutely nothing. What will I do, Lana? He says he’s going back to Paris.’

‘Don’t give up Julie. I know he cares.’

The words ‘Don’t give up’ resonate. A memory resurfaces. The only thing that had never fit was the fatherless thing, but if Vann is Blake’s brother then he is fatherless. ‘Oh my God, the fortune-teller was right.’

‘What fortune-teller?’

‘The one at your wedding.’

Lana laughs. ‘That was just for fun. I didn’t think she was particularly good.’

‘What did she tell you?’

Lana makes a face like, How obvious? ‘She told me I’d found my soul-mate and I’d have three kids, two boys and a girl. And she told me not to go swimming on my own after the age of thirty-five. Otherwise, she saw bright and happy life ahead. What did she tell you?’

‘She told me not to give up on a strong, tall, fatherless man. She also told me evil was trying to touch me and I must not let it. She didn’t elaborate and even more intriguingly she made me give her a coin so I wouldn’t owe anything. As if she was afraid me owing her would somehow taint her.’

Lana’s face changes. The secrets come back into her pale face. Now I am dealing with the woman who wrote the diary.

‘What do you think she meant?’

‘I don’t know, Julie. If you heard my conversation with Vann, then you will know I know hardly more than you.’ Lana takes my hands in hers. ‘But Vann is right, there are many things hidden that are best left hidden.’

‘Lana, why were you always so nice to me when we were kids?’

She shrugs. ‘Don’t know. For some weird reason I always wanted to as a sister.’

‘Really?’

She nods. ‘Are you still coming tomorrow for the art exhibition?’

‘I don’t know if he will want me there.’

‘He does. Blake offered to arrange your transport and he agreed.’

‘Really? He does?’ My heart feels like it would burst.

‘Yes, really. Have you got something to wear?’

‘Most of my clothes are a bit tight now. I’ll go shopping tomorrow.’

‘Shall I arrange for some cocktail dresses to be sent over here and you can come around and pick what you like?’

I stare at her in disbelief. Would I like to? ‘Hell, yeah!’

She smiles. ‘Got any color preferences?’

‘Yeah, red.’

Thirty-one

Do you know the only thing that gives me pleasure? It’s to see my dividends coming in.

—John D. Rockefeller

Darkness has not yet fallen when Tom comes to pick me up. Billie is already in the car. She smiles at me.

‘You look amazing,’ she says.

She says it like she means it, and I blush with pleasure and wonder what it must be like to be kissed by a woman. All soft lips and silky skin. ‘Thank you, Billie. As it happens, I don’t think I have ever seen you so beautiful.’

And it is true. She is dressed in a mini silver dress that is covered in tassels. Every time she moves all the tassels agitate, shimmer briefly and settle down. She looks almost molten.

‘It’s a present from Lana.’

I nod. Of course it is. For the first time in my life I feel nothing but warm love for Lana. I am not in competition with her. She has Blake and I don’t have Vann, but maybe I will. Maybe the gypsy knew something I don’t. I won’t give up hope.

Tom drops us off at the Serpentine gallery. I feel incredibly nervous. The sky is shimmering with myriad colors. As I step out a woman comes up to the car.

‘Miss Sugar?’

‘Yes.’ She is wearing perfume strong enough to cut through steel. Once I doused myself in that way too. Once, when I was a different person.

‘Come this way. You are the guest of honor.’

Billie winks at me. ‘Go on,’ she says. Once I would have gone. Skipped away and left Billie to her own devices, but I am different now.

I hold my hand out to her. ‘Where I go, you go.’

Billie grins. We walk together through the entrance. There are so many people, and they are all so finely dressed.

‘You’re cutting off my circulation,’ Billie whispers in my ear.

I relax my fingers. ‘Sorry.’

‘No problem.’ She smiles. ‘It’s just that I kinda like having fingers.’

That makes me smile.

Vann is coming towards us.

Billie gently unknits her fingers. ‘You’ll find me at the bar. I’ll be drinking up the place.’